Translator: Nadia Hernández Reviewer: Ilze Garda
I want to talk to you today about something everybody hates.
I want to talk to you, and even invite you
to fall in love, like I did, with compromising.
I know we live in an era in which everybody tells you all the time:
"Don't compromise, you can do it."
I was driving one day in my car when I heard the song:
(singing) "I believe I can fly, I believe..."
I also believe I can sing, but...
(Laughter)
I'm sorry.
And then I realized, I can't fly.
No human being can fly.
If a child would approach either one of you
and tell you he can fly,
a lot of people are trained to tell him: "Yes, you can. Just do it!"
But me, as his mother, the first thing I would do
is I would go and shut down all the windows,
and make sure he's not leaving my side
until he tells me he knows he can't fly.
(Laughter) (Applause)
The only way that people can fly
is if they will compromise and realize that they can't really fly,
and gather their strengths together and build airplanes.
And only if people will compromise and realize that they can't walk in water,
they can gather other people, and together they can build bridges.
(Applause)
My relationship with compromising started when I wanted to be a mother.
Until then I was a news photographer.
I was with short hair, motorbike and a bag loaded with cameras.
I just came back from Rwanda to Israel,
and I found out I'm pregnant.
It was my third pregnancy.
The first two didn't succeed. It's a statistic no one talks about.
Immediately, I cried.
The dear doctor that saw me crying said, "Please, don't cry."
Which is something men say when women cry.
(Laughter)
Then he told me: "You just need to bed rest for a while.
Stop working and bed rest."
I was at third month, and I understood what he was telling me.
I sold my motorbike.
I gave my cameras to a young student of photography,
and I went into bed rest for six months.
I gained lot of weight, I lost all my career there,
and everybody all the time told me: "Poor you, we're sorry for you."
But I felt wonderful. I was so happy.
Everytime I felt my son kicking inside me,
I was so happy.
After realizing that there is no newspaper
who's looking for a news photographer that needs to breastfeed every four hours,
I decided to be pregnant again, and now I have two kids.
Into my TV screen came four women that you probably liked, but I hated:
the girls from Sex & the City.
(Laughter)
They were having a wonderful time there in New York,
drinking cosmopolitan and looking for the perfect shoe
that will match the perfect husband that will match the perfect sofa.
I remember in one of the episodes, one of them is dating a guy,
a very nice guy.
And he comes to the date with sandals.
It's terrible.
Of course, they meet her that evening and tell her she needs to dump him.
(Laughter)
I could almost hear at that moment my grandma telling her:
"He's a nice guy. Stay with him, marry him and then throw his sandals.
It's not so complicated."
(Laughter)
(Applause)
It was the first time that I could connect to this kind of wisdom
to this wisdom of feminine
that pass from generation to generation,
from mother to daughter to granddaughter,
somewhere next to the river while they were doing the laundry,
somewhere in the kitchen, passing it from generation to generation.
And I was there at home trying to figure out
what it means to be a family.
How do I make those two adults
that live with those two babies
into a family?
How do I make this apartment be a home?
I saw myself surrounded with parents that are trying to raise kids,
sometimes kids with difficulties,
sometimes kids with disabilities.
I saw surrounding me a lot of people that are struggling to keep love.
One day I saw Martha Stewart on TV
- yes, I had plenty of time, I was unemployed -
(Laughter)
and she was trying to make a cake.
Of course, it didn't work out for her at that time, something was spilled and...
And then it was clear to me why women love Martha Stewart so much.
Because sometimes it doesn't work out for her.
Sometimes, Michelle Obama has a bad day.
Even Clint Eastwood made a bad movie once.
(Laughter)
Then, I remembered so many people saying they're perfectionists.
People are proud to say, "I'm a perfectionist."
And I didn't meet so many people that said, "I'm a compromiser."
(Laughter)
So I want to say that I'm a compromiser. I'm compromising out of strength.
I want to offer you to look at this word differently.
Because when I give up on something
for something that is more important for me,
at that moment, I'm compromising.
But I'm allowing myself to do something else.
Not a lot of people are saying: "I fulfilled just half of my dream."
But I want to tell you
that half a dream is a lot.
People who look for perfection are having a difficult life.
People who raise kids and they want them to be perfect
are raising kids that sometimes feel not loved enough or not good enough.
People who want a perfect body end up with eating disorders.
People who look for the perfect, perfect partner
many times end up alone.
I think this feminine wisdom
that is passed to us from generation to generation
and now in this generation that we try to do everything
- love and career, and kids, and do everything perfectly -
we need it at that time.
We need this wisdom of our grandmothers
because we work with people and they have different wishes,
and we need to compromise in order to work with them.
Even in families,
we're not always choosing the ones that will be our families:
our parents in law, our children in law.
And for doing that, for trying to hold on for everything,
we need to compromise.
When we compromise and stop seeking for perfection,
then it's the time that you'll realize we have a lot of wonderful moments,
and another wonderful moment not so perfect,
and another wonderful moment:
our happiness.
So I invite all of you to enjoy compromising
and enjoy lots of moments of happiness in your life.
(Applause)
Thank you.
(Applause)