WE WANT TO START WITH A BIG TECH STORY.
YAHOO! HAS HAD A DATA BREACH. YAHOO! IS PLANNING TO TAKE
IMMEDIATE ACTION AS SOON AS THEY GOOGLE HOW TO DO THAT.
THE HACKER HAS GONE PUBLIC SAYING HE STOLE THE DATA IN 2012.
WHICH MEANS YAHOO ISN'T EVEN USING YAHOO.
HILLARY CLINTON IS THRILLED TO HEAR THAT THERE IS AN EMAIL
SCANDAL THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE HER.
I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!
HILLARY'S TEAM WILL HAVE CAST MEMBERS OF THE WEST WING
CAMPAIGNING FOR HER IN OHIO THIS WEEKEND.
THIS WILL SECURE THE VOTE FOR PEOPLE WHO WERE ALREADY
100 PER CENT VOTING FOR HILLARY.
THE WEST WING WAS CANCELLED A DECADE AGO.
MAYBE THIS IS A SMART MOVE. BUT IT'S STILL LESS WEIRD THAN
HAVING A CHARACTER FROM A TV SHOW BE YOUR ACTUAL CANDIDATE.
FINALLY, A STORY I HAVE TO BRING UP TONIGHT. INCREASING NUMBER OF MEN
ELECTING TO RECEIVE INJECTIONS OF SCROTOX-- , WHICH IS EXACTLY
WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.
IT IS BOTOX FOR YOUR SCROTUM.OS AND NOW I THINK I SPEAK FOR MOST
MEN WHEN I SAY, WHY?
WHO IS GETTING THIS DONE?
LIKE THIS IS MY IMPRESSION OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF A DOCTOR
RECOMMENDED THIS FOR ME.
HE WOULD GO, "IT'S VERY SIMPLE, JAMES, WE WOULD INJECT A NEEDLE
INTO YOUR--" NO, I'M GOOD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, BYE BYE.
SCROTOX APPARENTLY REMOVES WRINKLES-- WRINKLES, WHICH IS
GOOD, YOU KNOW, YOU WOULDN'T WANT YOUR BALLS TO MAKE YOU LOOK
OLD.
I'M PRETTY SURE BALL WRINKLES AREN'T EVEN IN THE TOP TEN
PROBLEMS WOMEN HAVE WITH A MEN'S GENITALIA.
APPARENTLY THIS OPERATION ALSO, AND I QUOTE, "HELPS EASE
SWEATING."
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WOULD HELP EASE SWEATING, NOT STRESSING SO
MUCH OVER WHETHER YOUR TESTICLES
ARE ATTRACTIVE. D THIS IS A STRESS YOU DON'T NEED.
LIKE, LIKE IT'S NOT GOING TO LOOK NATURAL.
ARE YOU NOT GOING TO GO INTO A BED WITH A WOMAN AND SHE IS GO
BE TO-- GOING TO BE LIKE, "MARK, DID YOU GLUE A RIPE NECTARINE
NEXT TO YOUR PENIS?" BUT THERE IS A NEW WRINKLE IN
THIS STORY, WELL, THERE WAS.
>> THANK YOU, SORRY.
HONESTLY, NO, COME ON, WHOEVER WROTE THAT JOKE IS GOING TO GET
SACKED.
THERE SHOULD BE A BETTER PUNCH LINE, I FEEL LIKE I LEFT YOU
HANGING.
BUT NO, THIS STORY IS PRETTY NUTS.
(
HAVE THEM, WITH SCROTOX.S IS THIS TOO MUCH.
I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS TO START GETTING TESTY.
LET'S GET THE BALLS ROLLING AND
HAVE A LOOK AND SEE WHO IS ONOL OUR SHOW TONIGHT