then I should be talking about this week that's about it isn't it
at the moment maybe vorderman's big news Carol vorderman has said that um uh kids should learn
maths compulsorily until they're 18. yeah I mean that's ridiculous that's like 40 years
no because it's 18 years yeah you came from
he said it's increasingly important to be mathematically literate in the
workplace as if at what point wasn't it and why would you
commission a math report from someone who is good at maths but unemployed
it's not my fault it's a little bit your fault
I didn't feel like people are actually that bad at maths until I saw some bad stuff though yeah
what's the worst maths you've seen with and they were looking at this school that had implemented
this magical new a teaching of maths and I met an 11 year old girl that couldn't
work out 500 minus 499 this was after a year of their new magical teaching 500 minus 499.
can you hold up your fingers I'm going to need everyone's fingers
one hand five how many fingers in ten hands oh [ __ ] not
all right so miss doing your top up and then we can get on with
the mats ask me a question with 11 in it [Applause] [Laughter]
I can tell you that Carol vorderman's not in our top three if Carol vorderman is so
good with figures why does she always insist on
trying to squeeze hers into a dress that's clearly two sizes too small
and the award this evening for not laughing at a joke
she clearly thought was funny goes to Rachel Riley
is it the start of the Premier League season which starts tomorrow oh yes
some football yeah you like your football who do you support man united [Applause]
all right I'm a Chelsea fan so we got a new manager he's brought in some new rules for
the players and everything brother Rosie's brought in is uh you have to speak English
at all times which I think is pretty unfair and it's going to be really hard
for John Terry because normally you just point to things then have sex with her so
and you're not a fan of because Scottish Football obviously oh no that's still going
isn't it yeah not well but my local team is uh East Fife and a Star Striker is also my bin man
so it's like he'll come round on like in the mornings but you messed up pen yeah I literally
do not know what's going on in football but every season when it starts I'm like this is
when I'm gonna get into football and then I last about 20 minutes of one match and I'm like you'll
get into it this year because I think in about two weeks Wayne Rooney's gonna look like you
foreign [Applause] said he looks much sexier
but so does a fish finger if you draw a pair of tits on it
oh crunchy booby
Rooney said after the community of Shield yeah we were behind but then
we won because we literally don't know when a game is over but the problem is
they're so thick that you just take it literally I imagine you don't know in a
game I imagine if someone didn't come and get you you would just run all the time
let's see if the new football season is one of the most talked about things this
week [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]