(Whapoosh!) TOP OF THE MORNIN TO YOU LADDIES!
MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE
And welcome to a game called "Sword with Sauce"
I know it is a really weird name for a game..
But it's a-- Oh, God, there is a bad guy right there! Hide!
(Intense electric style music starts)
It's a game that I found online...
That looks REALLYYYY cool.
Because I get to be a ninja...
But it ALSO kind of reminds me of uhm.. "Superhot"
It doesn't have the same mechanics or anything like that
And I don't get to say
SUPER!
HOT!!!
Every five minutes
But I AM a badass ninja that is able to kill things
I-
I don't know how I... I do that yet.
Uhm... Ok... GO!!
HUP! DAW! YES!
(Music gets a little louder and intensifies)
Okay.
Did nobody else see that?
Nobody else saw that right?
OW OW OW OW OW (Seal Jack, ACTIVATE!)
OW!
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE ABLE TO F*CKIN' SHOOT ME!
SON OF A BITCH
I
AM
DEAD
You died, Jackaboy
Back to the f*cking start for you
Sneaky sneaking
I'mma go under here
OH, HE DIDN'T EVEN SEE ME
Blind as S-SEVERAL BADGERS
(sees bad guys)
HEY, GENTS!
OH GOD!
THAT IS NOT A GOOD PLACE TO BE
OH, F*CK
OKAY
IMMA JUST HANG OUT HERE UNTIL THEY COME AROUND THAT CORNER
Around--! NNNYEEEAH!
AROUND THAT CORNER, F*CKERS
Oh, I spilled his blood all over the wall, Jesus
That guy is very cautious,
He came out he was like, "Is he here?"
NOPE
C'MON, FELLAS
I know- OHHHH, Here he is.
DUDE
You didn't even put up a FIGHT.
C'MON
Oh, I can pick up their bodies.
Ooh, that's nice.
C'mon
Fella
CMON
Kinda reminds me of "Toribash" as well
Which a lot of people asked me to play
Aaaaaaaaaages ago
But I'm not going to
Because It's very complicated and I'm not good at it.
C'MON!
You gonna come round that corner?
AHHHHHHHH!
F*CK!
THERE ALL HERE!
RUUUUUUUUN!
Hey, see what I mean when it's like "Super Hot?"
OH
F*CKIN'
HELL!
There's bad guys EVERYWHERE!
Am I supposed to take his gun?
I probably should. (yeah)
There we go
I-I really wish there was SOUNDS or SOMETHING though,
so I could know what the F*CK IS GOING ON!
TAKE YOUR GUN!
YES!
AND TAKE A SWORD TO THE FACE!
Can I pick up another sword?
HUH!
NICE!
Dude, I F*CKED 'EM UP!
I GOT THEM ALL!
I'M DA BEST!
OH, there's SO MANY OF THEM though...
WHY?!
I can- I can do this.
Okay, I-I'm trying to jump,
but I don't jump very high
Can I double jump?
Can I wall run?
CAN I DO ANYTHING A NINJA CAN DO?
YES, I CAN F*CKING DEFLECT BULLETS!
Is that what I just did?
I have no idea of what I just did.
I'm just gonna say
That I deflected bullets 'cause that was cool
Open the door
Ohhhhh...
kayyyyy
Hi.
HUH!
And a HUH!
Dude, you are not even putting up a fight
CMON
I CAN TAKE YOU DOWN WITH MY PENIS TIGHT BEHIND MY ARSE!
HUH
I CHOPPED HIS-
Oh, I didn't
I thought I chopped his head off.
GOD, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME
AHHHHHHH!
DONT SHOOT ME!
I'M JUST A LITTLE BOY!
SIT DOWN!
I'm going upstairs
I'm going upstairs and I'm going to bed and nobody can tell me otherwise
FUUUUUUCK!
THERE'S BAD GUYS EVERYWHERE!
RUUUUUUUN!
OH I HATE THIS!
I HATE THIS!
WHY?!
Okay, imma pick up a gun again.
Is there a good gun that I can use?
That's another sword
Where the guns?
You just going around with swords?
I CAN GET YOU
AAAAAHH
F*CKING BAYONNETE CHARGE
Why is this red?
Why-why are you red?
Are you something?
AHHHHHHHHHHH
F*CK!
JESUS CHRIST!
AHHHHHHHHHHH
DON'T KILL ME!
I'M SO CLOSE TO BEING ABLE TO DO THIS!
I'm okay.
Oh, I'm f*cking freaking out for no reason.
OHHHHH
THERE'S SEVERAL REASONS TO FREAK OUT RIGHT NOW
UGHH
GET THE GUN DUDES FIRST!
NO!
NOT TODAY MOTHERF*CKERS!
EIGHURGHHHHEIHEGEH MOTHERF*CKER!
I got 'em, I got 'em HOW MANY ENEMIES ARE THERE?!
I FEEL LIKE I'VE TAKEN OUT A SMALL BATALLION!
EUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!
BLEUGH
F*cker
WHO WANTS A KILL STREAK?
I'mma get my NNUUKE
YEEUGHS
K
K, take my- take your sword back.
ARE YOU ALL DEAD YET?
MAN SNEAK THIEF'S NEW UPDATE IS WEIRD!
0kay, I think they're all dead.
YA BROKE THE WINDOWS!!
ONLY I MAY BREAK WINDOWS!
SONS OF BITCHES!
Hello?
Anybody left?
Except all the glass in the windows.
I think I killed 'em all.
I think Jack do VERY good!
HEAHHHHHHH!
NINJA SWIPE!
THREE-SIXTY!
AAAAAGHHHHH
Okay, a- are you gonna tell me when they're all dead or something?
or I just have to keep guessing how many's left?
ugh probably have to keep guessin'
imma just check all the rooms
PEEKABOO!!!
MARCO!
I think they might all be dead!
OH HE'S NOT DEAD!!!
AHH
WHAT THE F*CK?
WHY
WHERE
WHO
WHEN
HOW
HAH
OOO THAT WAS AWESOME!
I F*CKED HIM UP!
heh look at you now Imma gonna f*cking teabag you
you-
OH YEAH
OH
set that nutsack right down at your face
these bitch ass guns
I- ERR
GUNNA
imma sworder
imma actually fall off the side of the planet
no, i can't
okay, THAT'S GOOD
it's always good when I can't fall off the world
these flat Earthers are not gonna have their way with me
YEA
F*CK
okay, he's dead
HEH
YAYYY I DID IT!
YOOUU WIN
is that it? there's only one level?
I WANT SO MUCH MORE
Okay, learn
GADGETS
WHAT?!
There was SPINNING DEATH?!
Coma darts, drones, gas grenades
Gas masks,
STICKY LIGHTNING!
OOOOOOOHHHHHH (Orgasm face) *zooms up on Jackaboy's beautiful face*
IF I HAD ANY KIND OF SIGNATURE MOVE IT WOULD BE CALLED STICKY LIGHTNING
OR SPINNING DEATH(you spin me right round baby)
SPINNING DEATH IS JUST ME GOING
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Like a 4 year old out in the playground.
Sticky Lightning sounds f*ckin' awesome!
TS
¨Trap placed on any flat surface that will kill-¨AWWWWWWWWWWWoH
THIS IS ABOUT TO GET F*CKIN' AWESOME!
OKAY, Sticky lightning
Wait, how do I equip these?
¨Will stick to the first thing it lands on. Once activated¨
¨Will electrocute and immobilize all targets in a small radius¨
ah, doesn't sound too good.
Throwing knives?
Clean up the blood
NO
SPINNING DEATH
OK IMA IMA STUDY FOR A SECOND
We're about to f*cking
Get studious
Up in this bitch
Ok, kill all things
Can I use a drone?
Go drone
Fly!! (laughs)
I feel like f*cking spiderman.
Ah! Spinning death
Can I pick it up again?
Ah no! It wastes my spinning death!
Go spinning death!
Ah! I fucking killed him!
I FUCKED HIM UP!
That was awesome!
GO SPINNING DEATH! (x3)
Kill all three!
C'MON!
OH, ONE
TWO!
THREE!
OH, THIS IS AWESOME!
I LOVE SPINNING DEATH!
I ran out of Spinning Death (Aw)
*High pitched* OH, YOU CAN SEE IT AS IT JUST TRAVELS ALONG AS IS LIKE "HELLO!"
Right
Erm...
Sticky Lightning
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Oh, Sticky Lightning, We're burning up the quarter mile STICKY LIGHTNING. OH, STICKY LIGHTNING
Huh
Put one there, Put one here
sticky lightning more like the eye of
sauron staring into the fucking 2001
Space Odyssey warphole, That's weird looking
okay and they were going to combine it
with, I don't know how to use my drone, HUH there we go
wait what are you
I don't know what this is
what I just do? Fuck. HUUUUUH, OOO SPIDERMAN!
Coma dart, coma dart. Come on-Come on baby!
oh fuck him up that thing is I got
spider web it just takes out sticks and
as opposed to me
oh do you got f'd in the a
well I was being a B, a badass ,right
Coma dart, Coma dart
C-C-COMA-COMA DART
COMA CHAMELEON
think my drone is gonna be very helpful
I think the drone just the searches
OR IT JUST SITS THERE!
WHOOAHOA
I CAN FLY HIM AROUND
AW SWEET!
DUUDE!
TH-THIS IS AWESOME!
Can I mark enemies?
Can I shoot enemies?
Can I fuck them up?
Oooh, I can mark enemies!
(weird gruntling noises)
Ooooh, so now I know where they all are!
That's Helpful!
(Grenade Launcher sounds)
Niceeee, everybody get gassed
Imma put on my gas mask
Did I- Did I put it o- AAHHH IM GETTING SHOT IN THE BACK
Oww Oww Oww!
How do I get my- How do I get my sword back?!
Huah! I died like a miserable bastard!
(claps like a boss)
That was cool!
I wanna get in and do this even cooler than that!
This gon be amazing, watch this
I- put a- bruh bruh put a hooker doo right there
Not a hooker, a hooker doo! ( like theres a difference)
Put another one here...
NOICE!
Just keep lining these up!
That's atleast four deaths right there...
Four, Five
Oh, so many deaths are about to happen
You're gonna wonder how much in debt you are after this...
Umm, that's a lot of kills..
Erm.. I wanna use SPINNING DEATH!
AHHHHHH!
Remember my move from before? Yeah,watch this.
one,two,three,four.Everybody die.
one, two, -Oh my fucking god it stuck in his face, SPINNING DEATH GET HIM!
Okay ,it didn't kill this dude for some reason,GO spinning death,go kunglow.
okay I killed his friend that's good enough. KILL HIM,GET HIM ,GE-F*CK HIM UP-YES!
Spinning death you are my favorite, You are always my favorite.
Bad guys? Okay no bad guy's,no bad guys around.
Is their drop on this?Ki-op ,ahhhh there is no drop. that's good to know.
that's good mojo business.
uhhhh
GIAP x4
OKay
wE'RE On It
F*CkINg
FUN FACT!!!! Jack said "F*ck" over 31 times in this video!