In the aftermath of that
tragic shooting on Tuesday,
many are grieving left confused
and wanting answers. Overwhelmed
by strong feelings, we're faced with the
need to process all these emotions and
here to help us in this time of need.
Psychiatrist Doctor Michael Lardin,
and thanks so much for being here.
Doctor, we sure appreciate your
time pleasure to be here. Boy,
my my kids there was a scare at our school.
The copycat, you know,
lock down at our school and boy these kids.
They just go through a lot.
The parents are so many emotions
and so much stress that's going on.
What are some of the advice you have for
us to start having these conversations
about where we stand in these schools?
The threats that we now face
and how kids can process it?
How can we help our kids?
Well, I mean, I think it's
very difficult for all of us.
I mean this kind of shooting this
mass shooting in many ways is is
more traumatic than even war,
because it's unpredictable.
It's random, it threatens us,
and there's really no purpose.
So not only our children but us as adults,
it becomes very difficult.
So it creates sadness,
you know, hurt and anger.
We feel threatened,
we feel helpless.
We have to be careful not to
project that onto our children.
When we're talking to our children,
it's really an age related,
so the general rule,
if our children are eight years old or less,
we probably don't talk about it too much.
We limit their exposure to the
media if they bring it up,
we then hear what their concerns are.
We try to address it with them.
We try to reassure them that they're safe,
and and one little thing that you can
do for young children is sublimate.
And what does that mean?
That means maybe they write a
letter to the fire department.
For the police you know thanking
them for keeping us safe and that
gives them a sense of safety.
It's also important to to observe our kids,
and if we see changes in behavior,
if they're acting out in any way,
that's a real red flag to engage
some mental health and and to
really watch them carefully.
For both adults and children,
I know that there are multiple ways to deal,
but what are some of those healthy
outlets for dealing with these complex
emotions that you just described there?
Well? I mean, people tend to go one of
two ways because the feelings are so
powerful and so difficult to metabolize.
We see people get overwhelmed and it
sort of takes over their daily life.
We have adults that drive by the schools they
don't want to send their kids to school it.
It creates anxiety to do that.
So you have. People that are really
overwhelmed over here and then you have
people over here that just stuff it.
They compartmentalize it and neither
of those things are very healthy.
That the best thing is to talk about it.
If you can talk about it with
friends age appropriate. That's good.
If if it becomes a bigger issue
and this is a very big issue,
mental health professionals
would be a very good way to go.
And and then again the same
concept with the children.
Is to sublimate, it mean taking
something that's very difficult.
Making a positive.
So whether that's getting involved in mental
health advocacy or gun control issues,
those kinds of things make
us feel more in control.
Make us feel safer.
And and that's really the best way to to
to address such a difficult situation.
Let's talk about health therapy.
Therapeutic. It is for the kids
to get this off their chest.
I took that advice.
I have 11, nine and seven year old.
Doctor when the seven year old left the room.
My wife and I had this conversation last
night with our 11 and 9 year old about
what they're feeling, what they've heard.
We just asked them to talk about what's on
their mind and my 11 year old right away,
I said, Ohh, everything's fine.
But you can tell if you
know your kid well enough,
you can tell something's bothering
them and you you just you have
to make it a comfortable setting
for them and ask them to open up.
And sure enough they did.
Did I do that right?
I mean, what you don't want to harp on it?
You don't want to.
To to kind of bring it up in a bad way,
but like they need to find a way to open up,
right?
I mean, that was perfect.
We we would applaud that.
So your younger child,
you know maybe doesn't really
conceptually understand it.
That child leaves the room and and you
you create an open atmosphere rather than,
you know, telling them you listen to them.
And even if they minimize it,
you know really you.
You try to get them to open up.
You hear their concerns.
You address their concerns and you're
careful not to project all your anxieties on
them and they'll feel better that they can.
Talk about it and again you you.
We have to reassure them
that you know they're safe.
This is a very rare event.
They're going to be OK,
and I think you did a great job.
So good.
Good job.
Yeah, doctor Larson.
Yeah we didn't want to go back to
school today to be honest with
you but we told him like you
said look it's safe atmosphere.
This is very rare, you know evil
happens in some parts of the world,
but you're you're in a safe spot here.
We need to reassure that message
right that the kids are safe
and that something like this.
You know is is very rare, right?
Well, I mean, you know the if you
choose otherwise you'll create more
anxiety in the children and that
doesn't leave down a good path.
And even though this is so disturbing,
it's really an issue for adults
to address in a positive way.
Again, things like gun control
and mental health advocacy.
So we leave the job to us.
But we do have to reassure our children.
Doctor Larden thanks so much for the advice.
The tips. A lot of parents
having these conversations.
I just had to have and it's.
It really does help us help
them get through this.
All sad that we're in this state here,
but it's something that we definitely
have to talk with the kids.
So thank you doctor for your advice there.