(rhythmic music)
I'd like to introduce you to someone incredibly close to my heart.
They are an internationally acclaimed
gender non-conforming writer,
performer, activist, artist,
style icon, fashion designer,
and just like me, they identify as non-binary.
My very good friend, Alok Vaid-Menon.
Thank you so much for being here, Alok.
- Congrats on coming out as non-binary.
- Thank you. - I'm so curious...
What has it been like since?
- It has been so rewarding
to hear how many people it has helped
and has impacted.
Um, also, people telling me that they
hadn't heard of what non-binary means,
um, until I changed my pronouns.
And it forced them to take a look at the topic
and who may not have been exposed to...
you know, the community in other ways.
That's why I'm just so grateful that...
that my fans and my friends are as wonderful as they are.
- This is your first Pride out as non-binary.
- Yes. - How does that feel?
- It feels incredible. I just feel like I'm finally
showing the world my truth too.
So it's been really cool. But I'm curious,
what does non-binary mean to you?
- Non-binary doesn't just mean I'm neither a man nor a woman.
It means I'm so much more than a man or a woman.
It means that, like the universe,
I'm so expansive that any attempt
to categorize me will always fail.
Like trying to hold water in your hand,
it'll just kind of seep through.
- Oh, I love that.
- There are so many misconceptions
about being non-binary. And one that comes up,
that we're some sort of newfangled
internet, millennial phenomenon.
Living outside of the binary is not new.
Another one is that we're somehow judgmental
against people who are identifying as man or woman.
Or that we think that everyone should be non-binary.
- All I can be certain of is how I identify,
and for me, this has been my truth.
If other people come out and say,
"Hey, I think I'm non-binary too."
Awesome! That's so wonderful.
But I would never push an agenda,
like, of any sort, onto people,
especially involving identity.
- Yeah, and you know, I think a lot of times,
people mistake us saying we want a world beyond a gender binary.
As saying you're not allowed to be a man or a woman.
And I'd like to clarify what that means.
What that means is only you get to determine what your gender is.
So if you say, "I'm a woman," then maybe you're a woman.
If you say, "I'm a man," then you're a man.
You just don't get to tell other people what their gender is.
So moving beyond the gender binary,
it's not really about erasing how you identify,
it's just saying you're not allowed to police other people's gender.
And there's this other misconception that I get a lot.
Which is that non-binary fashion isn't mainstream
or it's just some kind of like, fringe fashion trend.
But newsflash, darling, I don't know if y'all saw
the Vogue cover with Harry Styles last year.
(laughing) Harry wearing a dress.
Actually, this conversation is totally part of the mainstream.
Harry was also wearing a blouse at the Met Gala 2019.
There's been so many amazing moments
of gender-free fashion.
And there's some really great examples
in both yours and my history I'd love to show.
- Okay, cool.
- This look over here is one of my favorites.
You know, just a casual Tuesday afternoon.
Me walking through the neighbourhood.
- Yes! - Completely functional.
Like, five to six-inch platform! - Word!
- And what I really try to do with my fashion is show people
like, anyone can wear a miniskirt.
It doesn't matter your size or your gender.
It's just about working the miniskirt.
- You're right. It's all about...
the way you carry yourself.
And if you are gonna feel more comfortable in a skirt, wear the skirt.
- You're gonna hear it first. Wear the damn skirt.
- Wear the skirt! (laughing)
- Um, okay, so I wanna talk about your fashion
throughout the years. - Okay.
- Because I think that you've done a really interesting fashion journey.
(laughing) - Yes. It has been interesting.
- Interesting... Here's a picture of you
performing in 2017.
Tell me, what do you see?
- It makes me kind of sad
because I was trying so hard
to be what I thought other people
wanted me to be, and...
You know, wearing something like that
made me feel sexy, but at the same time,
I know that I was trying to push my sexiness out there because...
it's what people wanted of me.
I get a little sad when I say that.
- Taking a look at you and this iconic velvet suit
that you gave a few months ago...
- Oh! Thank you!
- For the iHeart Radio Awards.
- This is sexiness with a different approach.
This feels sexy,
but it feels authentic to who I am.
There's just something really empowering about...
rocking a suit and making it sexy.
- In this next look, which is really a TBT for people,
we're back in 2014. - Oh my gosh! Yeah.
- And you were the grand marshal of LA Pride.
And you were also filming your "I don't care" music video.
- This picture actually makes me smile,
because I can see that, even though at that time,
I was in...
a relationship with a man
and I wasn't out yet
as bisexual,
I feel like of all of the years
that I spent being someone else,
this period of time was
some of the most authentic that I could've been
throughout all those years.
- What I love about your fashion journey
is that here you are in 2014
without even having the language to describe who you were
doing that through fashion.
It interrupts this idea
that you just go from feminine to masculine
and it actually says, it's more fluid.
It's back and forth.
- Definitely.
- One of the reasons that we are even able
to express ourselves now
is because of a long history of trail blazers
who fought for us to have gender-free fashion.
I wanted to share some amazing icons from the past.
The first one is Sir Lady Java
and I really love this story so much.
It used to be illegal in Los Angeles to "cross-dress"
so there's a law called the 3 article law
that made you wear at least three articles of clothing
associated with your assigned sex
which is so boring and unambitious.
So 50 police officers came into the club
that Sir Lady Java's performing in
to arrest her.
And she pointed to her watch,
her tie and her socks and said: "Three articles"
And they had to back off.
- Yes! Yes! That's so great. - Totally.
And we totally cannot forget
this next icon, Stormé DeLarverie.
Stormé was at the Stonewall Rebellion in 1969
and she was known as the bodyguard for the lesbians.
- Hot! I got a crush on Stormé.
- She was wearing three-piece suits
before any women were doing it.
Now, this tradition of gender-free fashion
is continuing with celebrities
like Billy Porter and Lena Waithe.
What I love about Billy is that he says
he feels like a man when he's wearing a dress.
That shows that we get to interpret
what clothes mean to us.
A dress isn't inherently feminine,
it's what you want it to be.
- Oh, that's amazing.
And fashion is all about expression anyways.