Many people believe that Oxytocin only plays a role in labor. However, Oxytocin also facilitates
the bonding between parents and their baby with lots of immediate benefits for both of them. But
there is more: if you successfully bond with your baby, you also lay the groundwork for a better
social, intellectual and emotional functioning of your baby later in life. Yes. So, in this video,
we are first going to briefly discuss why bonding is so important for both parents and baby.
Then we are gonna share with you the 8 most important ways to bond with your baby
which will will help you maximize Oxytocin levels. And then at the end of this video,
we also show you a short baby massage treatment which you can apply every day to bond with your
baby. Yes. And just that you know: we recommend watching this video even before you go into labor,
because bonding starts with the birth of your baby. This is Nathalie, a pregnancy
and birth consultant and TCM therapist, and that’s Mathias a researcher and science geek and on this
channel we help you and your baby naturally and science-based! So, let’s get started. Oxytocin is
often called “the hormone of attachment” because it helps us bond with others by helping us build
trust and develop empathy for others. Because of that, Oxytocin also allows us to build a relationship
of trust and empathy with our baby. So, the more effort we put into bonding with our baby,
the more Oxytocin is being released. And the more Oxytocin, the stronger the effect of the bonding,
meaning, the stronger our attachment with the baby. Yes. And it is remarkable to know that both,
parents and the baby are going to benefit from that bonding process. For example: both are
going to experience a decrease of stress levels because of the Oxytocin that is being released.
But the effects of bonding are also long-term. Most importantly, bonding with a baby also allows
the baby to develop their own oxytocin production system. Yes. In fact, studies have shown that if
babies don’t experience that maternal engagement, their body also seems to be less able to fully
benefit from Oxytocin that their own body produces later in their life. As a result,
such children often have problems with their social, intellectual and emotional functioning.
Plus, they find it much harder to manage stress. Right. On top of that, other studies also show
that bonding seems to protect children from internalizing disorders, such as depression and
anxiety. Right! So, the question is: what are the best ways to bond with a baby if you want to
maximize the release of Oxytocin. So, let’s have a look at our 8 best ways to bond with your baby.
It may not seem obvious, but a natural birth is indeed a very important way to bond with
your baby, if you want to maximize Oxytocin for several reasons. First of all, the mother is much
more actively involved in the birth process. As a result she feels much closer to her baby because
of what she has accomplished together with her baby. Yes. Moreover, during a natural birth,
the mother’s body releases lots of Oxytocin which, as we already know, is an important basis for the
bonding process. And third, a natural birth allows that bonding process to start straight away,
unless of course, medical problems arise which prevent you from being with your baby. Right. On
the other hand, if you have an emergency C-section for instance, you are often unconscious and cannot
be with your baby straight away, right? If that’s the case, it is recommended that daddy does the
bonding initially instead. In fact, daddies should always be included in the bonding process
because bonding also allows daddies and their babies to develop stronger bonds.
The first couple of hours right after birth are probably the most important hours in the
relationship between you and your baby. This is the time when your baby lies on you, skin-to-skin
which initiates strong instinctive behaviors in both of you because this is the first time
when both, baby and mother engage with each other. Yes. They feel each other,
they smell each other. And this leads to a surge of hormones in the mother including Oxytocin.
The baby on the other hand will engage in behavior that normally instinctively leads to
the first breastfeed by self-attachment. Yes. This skin-to-skin contact comes with so many benefits
that we could do a separate video about it. But just to name few: it calms and relaxes both mother
and baby. It regulates baby’s heart rate. And It supports the breastfeeding and mothering process
because of the Oxytocin. And just that you know: the same also applies to babies in neonatal units
where it helps reduce the baby’s stress levels, helps them with growth, improves oxygen saturation
and many more things. Yes. And by the way: that skin-to-skin contact does not end after a
few hours. It should be an ongoing process over the first 72 hours, ideally even during the first
week after birth. And once again, it should not be restricted to the mother only. Babies equally
benefit from skin-to-skin with their father. Fathers on the other hand develop a better attachment with the baby.
It is often believed that bonding and the subsequent release of Oxytocin
only happens if you touch your baby. But that’s not the case. A very important way of bonding
with your baby which will also increase Oxytocin levels is smelling each other. Yes. In fact,
studies have shown that both, mother and baby are able to recognize each other just
by smelling their scent. And since smelling each other releases Oxytocin in both, mother and baby,
smelling alone will calm and relax both of them. And that process of getting familiar with each
other’s scent starts right after birth. Yes. Because of that, it is recommended that you avoid too much
perfume or deodorants when you are with your baby because it will prevent your baby from being able
to smell your own scent. Also, keep in mind that you don’t always have to be physically present
for your baby to be able to smell your scent. For example, let’s say you have to leave home for an
hour. Well, in that case, just leave the shirt which you have worn that day with your baby. Yes.
Also, keep in mind that the same also works with the father of the baby.
In other words, the earlier and the more dad is bonding with the baby,
the more both get familiar with each other’s scent which benefits both of them.
Another highly undervalued way to bond with your baby is eye contact! And that too starts right
after birth and goes both ways, right? Now, of course, initially, your baby is not able to see properly.
And so, baby is not able to make out faces. Yes. Nevertheless, babies do develop an interest in
mommy’s face even as early as within the first 7 hours after birth. And in those moments when
baby’s and mommy’s eyes meet, that emotional bonding is being established, leading again to
a release of hormones on both sides. Yes. But it does not only work with mom. The same emotional bonding
also happens when baby’s and daddy’s eyes meet. By the way, bonding through eye contact works
particularly well when you feed your baby. Because it allows you to look into each other’s eyes.
And the great thing about that is that you can do this no matter if you are breast-or bottle feeding
your baby. Yes. A final word though: please keep in mind that you cannot force the eye contact with
your baby, particularly if your baby is either hungry or fussy, right? Because of that you will find it much
easier to establish eye contact with your baby, if your baby is satisfied and calm. Moreover,
keep in mind that your baby is not able to focus on your face during the first couple of months, right?
So initially, keeping eye contact with your baby is not a simple task. But you will get there.
Talking about feeding! One of the most important ways to bond with your baby is breastfeeding. And
there are many many reasons why it is so important Yes. So, first of all, the act of breastfeeding itself
releases Oxytocin in both, you and your baby. And of course, that Oxytocin has the usual benefits
for both of you. However, when you breastfeed, the release of Oxytocin also has benefits which
are specific to breastfeeding. For example: it helps your baby get to the milk more easily. Yes.
But another great benefit of breastfeeding is that it allows you to combine several different ways of
bonding. For example: breastfeeding also allows you to have that skin-to-skin contact with your
baby. You can both smell each other’s scent. And you can look into each other’s eyes. As a result,
breastfeeding has a mutually reinforcing effect in terms of Oxytocin release and bonding. What’s also
important to note is that, while breastfeeding is a super effective way to bond with your baby,
it is not a requirement to successfully bond with your baby. In other words, if you cannot
breastfeed for whatever reason, don’t be worried! You can still bond with your baby when you bottle
feed your baby. And of course, bottle feeding is also something that dads can do to for bonding, right?
Another highly undervalued way to bond with a baby is using a baby sling. It allows you to
keep in close contact with your baby. You are able to smell each other’s scent. And you are
even able to look into each other’s eyes. So, plenty of Oxytocin that benefits both of you!
Okay, this one is a bit complicated, but it's still very important to bond with your baby.
So, basically, a baby will try to communicate with mommy
through their behavior in the hopes that mommy reacts in a desirable way. Such behavior could be:
crying, or cooing, or smiling or eye contact in the hopes to see a reaction of mommy. And
if baby sees that mommy reacts to baby’s attempts of communicating, over time, the
baby develops a confidence in their own ability to efficiently communicate with mommy. This, in turn,
will increase the mother’s confidence in handling her baby in a competent way.
And of course, the same concept also applies to daddy’s reactions to his baby, right? Yes. Now of course, in
order for this to work, it is important to react to baby’s attempt to communicate in a certain way.
Luckily, most parents do this instinctively the right way, right? Yes. So for example,
if you hear your baby cooing, you probably won’t say something like. "Hey, what’s up baby?"
You are most likely gonna react to your baby’s cooing by saying something nice in a high-pitched
and calm voice, right? Yes, baby language, right? Lie: "Oh hello darling, are you smiling at mommy?"
And this is exactly when bonding happens.
We cannot emphasize enough the importance of touch for both, the mother and the baby
which is why skin-to-skin is so important, right? However, there is also another very
important way to bond with your baby through touch and that’s a baby massage treatment. Yes.
Not only can a baby massage treatment increase the bonds between the parent and the baby.
It also comes with so many other benefits for the baby, such as reduced stress levels, pain relief,
a positive effect on weight gain, on physical growth, on the baby’s development in general
as well as on baby’s appetite and digestion etc. Yes. On top of that, the mother benefits from baby
massage treatments too: less stress and anxiety, greater confidence in her mothering abilities
and much more. And because this is such an important way to bond, we want to show you a very
simple baby massage treatment which will allow you to bond with your baby whenever you apply it.
And by the way: if you like, we also show you an extended baby massage treatment which also
involves a baby facial massage and a baby foot massage. If that’s something you would like to
learn, check out the description below this video for more information! But in this video we
only show you a short treatment which, however, will not be less effective to bond with your baby.
Put some oil on your hands and rub your hands so that both your hands and the oil get warm.
Place your hands on her belly and move upwards to her shoulders! From there move downwards from
her shoulders all the way down to her hands! Go back to her shoulders without touching her
and then stroke downwards over her abdomen and eventually over her legs down to her feet!
Do this three times! Next, focus on your baby's belly! This step is quite easy. Simply apply
circular movements clockwise around her belly button for about 5 seconds!
Next, focus on the baby's right arm! Start on the baby shoulder and use your thumb to apply circular
movements while moving downwards on the outside of the baby's arm all the way down to her hand!
Do this three times while applying gentle pressure!
Finish this treatment by gently stroking downwards from her shoulder all the way down to her hand!
Once you're done with the right arm do exactly the same on the left arm of the baby!
Next, focus on the baby's right leg!
Start with the baby's thigh on the outside of her leg and use your thumb to apply circular movements
while going all the way down to her ankle! Do this three times while applying gentle pressure!
Next, work your way upwards along the baby's right leg, starting with her ankle! But this time, work
on the inside of her leg! You can either apply the same circular movements as before or simply
apply gentle pressure with your thumb while going all the way up from her ankle to her thigh! Just
as I'm doing it here. Do this three times! Finish this treatment by gently stroking downwards from
the baby's thigh all the way down to her ankle! Do this on the outside as well as on the inside
of her leg! Once you're done with the right leg do exactly the same on the left leg of the baby!
Okay, so, this was our baby massage treatment for bonding. And again, if you want to learn more about
our extended baby massage treatment check out the description below this video.
Yes! If you have found this video helpful, we would be super grateful if you could leave us a like
or even a comment in the comment section below! Yes! And for more useful tips and
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