- I mean, I like personality,
but I like looks too, you know? I mean...
- If a guy has a picture on his dating profile
of his dog licking his face, I will not swipe.
- It doesn't say they wear more diapers for poop,
so maybe they just wear the diapers for pee.
- Let's just go it's only pee.
- Okay, then I think that's fine.
- Oh my God!
- (React) You are gonna be playing a round of the game Red Flags.
- Great. - Mmm.
- (React) It goes like this,
you're gonna get two date partners, these traits will have two good traits
and one real bad red flag that will totally change the person.
You guys will choose which one you wanna date.
- Okay. - Sounds good.
- Love it. - I can do that.
- Owns a goose that lays designer clothing.
- Wow, hadn't heard of those before. - No.
- That's kinda hot.
- A goose that lays designer clothing?
What a freakin' win.
- Gives you multiple orgasms. - Okay, even better.
- That's awesome.
- Looks and smells just like your dad.
- Oh my God.
- Smell wise, sure, okay. Looks wise?
[Censored] no. - That's weird.
- No, no, no, no, no! - That's hella weird.
- Heavy no.
- A lot of women have daddy issues though,
where they kinda like that.
- Unintentionally, but they're like secretly...
- That's just what they look for. - It's just in their brain,
like, they're naturally more attracted to this person.
- Ugh, that's ugh, mommy issues waiting to happen.
- The smell, you can change, you can give them a new cologne.
- Okay.
- And the look, you could always have them,
like, get a beard.
- Person number two,
we got you'll never get sick while you date them.
That's a pretty big positive.
- That is great. - That's...
- That is a plus. - You know, in this day and age.
- Gives great massages. What a winner!
- Wears diapers because it's more convenient. (laughs)
- Listen, honestly, this person was better for me,
I was like yes, but then we get to the diapers,
and I'm like all about cleanliness, and also no.
- Maybe those really good heavy duty Pampers, you know?
- This is my immediate thought with the wearing diapers
is a poop smeared butt.
But I have to think, I don't have to see it,
so I guess, and if she just kind of announces hey,
I just pottied. (laughs)
- I'd go with person two.
I'm not going for someone that looks like my mom at all.
- But what if they're like oh babe, can you help change my diaper?
(laughs)
- Maybe it's cute!
- I call red flag on that one, and I'd choose person number one.
- I'm calling red flag on person number two,
and I'm choosing A, because if she looks like my dad,
I guess she's, we're gonna fit perfectly together,
'cause she works out.
- Imagine you're at dinner, and they're like hold on, babe.
(both laugh)
- Oh that's all, you didn't have to continue that!
- I choose person one, every day,
and twice on Saturday.
- I think I'm gonna go person one as well.
- I, at this point, after going over it,
I think I choose person one.
- I would also choose person one,
because I ain't nobody's mommy, and I ain't changing no diapers.
- You're on like date four, and you're walking around,
and you're like I'm gonna pop in here
and use the restroom real quick, do you need to,
and she's like oh no no, I'm wearing a diaper,
so I've already gone.
- Here we go. So some traits are
the funniest person in the world,
ugh, love somebody who's funny. - That's me, uh-huh.
- Their farts smell like flowers.
- Ooh, okay. - Okay.
That's two very good things.
- If you don't laugh at my jokes,
and if you don't like the way my farts smell.
- Mm. (laughs) - We gonna have a problem,
'cause I eat a lot of beans. (Martine laughs)
- Let's see what the red flag is. - Yeah.
- Literally has the face of a pug.
Oh my God, this literally is me.
(Dave laughs)
- And if you've ever had a pug,
you know their farts do not smell like flowers.
- Yeah, that tail is rolled up, so it loops right out, you know?
- Yeah.
- Good listener. - Ugh, that is a very good one.
Hearing people, just...
- Yeah, 'cause you can be a listener,
but to be an actual like good listener
is a whole other thing.
- Owns a time machine. - Ooh.
- I'd like that. - That would be nice.
- I have a lot of regrets in my life.
- It would be nice.
- That's it, don't... - That's it.
- Forget the red flag at that point.
- That is, come on, dude, are you serious?
- Open mouth kisses their pets.
- That's a no for me. That is...
- I get some intense ones. - Give me your flag.
Do you have any more flags over there?
- She's going like... - Not...
(Jayka slurps)
Ugh, why'd you, ew, ew!
- Your dog, I bet, sometimes gets in your mouth.
- Nope!
- Every once in a while, you're like...
- I don't let me dog kiss me on my lips.
- I don't let it, but I'm like hey, Bailey,
and then she's like oop, and it's an attack
from the tongue, I didn't expect it,
I don't like it, but it's there.
- But there's a difference between an accidental,
and coming home and being like oh (babbles).
- No, that's what's happening, and I go red flag on number one.
I'm taking number two, and we are canceling all pets.
- I'm gonna choose person two. - I'm choosing person two as well.
- I'm going red flag, person number two.
I'm gonna go here, because you know why?
It ain't always about looks.
- I choose person two, the time machine.
- I picked person two as well. - Oh yeah.
Love of my life. - The time machine,
it cancels everything out. - You know.
- What if you faked an allergy to all pets?
You could say I have allergies, and therefore,
they can't have a pet no more. - Right, wow.
- (React) So then your relationship's based on a lie?
- Fine with that. - Right, I mean,
the right lies can be good.
- Okay, person number one.
Most physically attractive person you've ever seen.
- Come on now.
- Emily Ratajkowski, Emily Ratajkowski.
- That means it's Michael B. Jordan.
- Which one's Thor? - (React) Chris.
- Chris, oof, there you go. - Meagan Good.
- (React) Oh! - Hmm.
Creates shelters for the homeless.
- Aw, now watch this red flag nonsense.
- Has 19 kids and counting.
- Not from me!
- Okay, Nick Cannon is at 12. (Jaxon laughs)
- Start at 18, you're at, what's the math on that?
- Uh, negative one? (laughs) - Right, right.
- They got a lot of money going on right here,
because listen. - This is a lot of...
- 19 kids and a lot of shelters.
- 19 kids, that, I mean, [censored]
I have one kid, and that's a red flag.
- Best sex ever, okay.
- (laughs) It's just one.
- (React) Get out of here Michael B. Jordan!
- Oh my God, creating shelters, [censored] you!
- Owns an adorable coffee shop. - Aw, we love that.
- We love coffee and sex, we love that.
- Coffee's literally my biggest... - I hate coffee.
- It is like my biggest hobby, I love it.
- ♪ Dum dum dum ♪
(Martine laughs)
- Amateur cannibal! - No, no, no, no!
- Amateur cannibal.
Now, when we say cannibal, we're talking people?
- (React) We're talking people. - Hmm.
- That's what cannibal is. - Right.
- As a dude, you just never know
if she's just gonna gnaw it off, or enjoy it.
- You know why I'm waving this flag?
'Cause like, you're having to think about it. (laughs)
- Right.
- I'm going with this one! 19 kids and counting!
Guess I'm a stepmom! (laughs)
- I flag you, number two.
- Yeah, we're choosing number one.
- I choose number one.
- I choose one. - I choose one.
Like, what if their amateurism turns pro?
(Sharon laughs) You know?
- I'm so sad that I have to choose person A, or person one.
I cannot!
- I don't blame you, yeah.
- The stress of watching kids is a lot.
- Oof.
- But at least you have all your tentacles.
- Person one, YouTube celebrity. Red flag. (laughs)
- I also say red flag.
- Hmm. - Yeah, well, we got one.
- Can they help my channel? - Yeah.
- Has a magic bag that contains unlimited cheese.
- Yeah, his stomach bubbles at night.
- Lives in a bedroom with eight dudes,
including one named Jug.
- So he has a bag full of cheese, and a room full of men.
(Martine laughs) And he's a YouTube celebrity.
That's the perfect scenario.
- The YouTube celebrity thing, you'd probably be like wowed,
for like the first second, and then you'll get over it.
And you'll be like oh [censored]. - That's like literally a red flag.
- This whole thing is a red flag, wow.
- (React) Just off with this one.
- Yeah, I think whole thing is very odd.
I love cheese, but where the hell did you get this magic bag?
- You're ready for this one. - I'm so ready.
Give me anyone that is...
- Has front row seats at every sporting event.
- Okay, we're getting somewhere. - Okay.
- Lives in a castle.
Like, already ahead of this, but this person barely has
any positive thing at all.
- I just wanna wipe these cards away.
- Always dresses like a clown?
- That's like every guy.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
If she ain't got the honk, honk.
- (React) Oh, she does.
- Oh, she got the honk, honk. - (React) She's a clown, dude.
- This, lives in a bedroom with eight dudes.
- Yeah, it is a red flag. - That's a red flag.
Everything aside,
if you live in a room with a guy,
a singular guy, that's a red flag.
- I pick this person,
because there's a lot of people that are terrified of clowns,
and I feel like it's gonna give you more space
if you're on a bus. - Oh my God.
- Nobody's gonna sit next to you in the movie theater,
which like, I really, I prefer.
- But I'm still stuck on this, because you know,
if it was Hank Green,
Hank Green is like an actual angel on Earth.
- Okay, let's just assume this is Hank Green,
and he just lives in a YouTuber house, okay?
- I don't even think it's a question.
- No. - This is clearly.
- Number two. - Number two.
- (both) Number two.
- Okay, I'm going with the clussy, I'm sorry.
In a guy situation, that sounds bad.
In a girl situation, that seems kinda hot.
I'm going with the clussy. - Ew!
Jaxon has a clown kink!
- We. - Choose.
- Number. - Two!
- How do you like them apples?
- I'm gonna go with the clown.
- We walk out, you see me, it's like,
we see each other, we have white all over our faces,
we'll be like hey man, but the game was great.
- But the game was great!
- You will not age while you date them?
Ooh. - Ooh.
- I like that. - Yeah.
- The not aging thing only works if you're like at your peak age,
at the age that you wanna stay.
I don't wanna stay 19 for a while.
Owns real dinosaurs.
Red flag. - I like that too!
Red flag? - Red flag.
That's scary. - That's sick!
- And constantly freestyles bad.
- You ain't aging! - I don't know. (laughs)
- You ain't aging! - If I can handle that.
- But if this is a partnership, help him out.
- Okay, but like, this isn't about my ability to freestyle.
(Jizzixious laughs)
- Genius level IQ. - Aw.
- I'm not sure if I like this. I think this is a red flag.
- 'Cause that's one of those things where they're like "well, actually."
- Right.
- Their morning breath smells like fresh-baked cookies.
What type of cookies?
- I don't know. - What's your favorite type of cookie?
- White chocolate macadamia nut. - Ooh, dang.
- Greets people by sniffing their butts?
Okay.
- How would that be if he was to meet by mom?
- How are you that smart? - Just get right in there.
- Put your nose right in the middle of it.
- I'm gonna go with one, because owns real dinosaurs, creepy,
constantly freestyles badly, but I will never age.
- Right!
- Bad freestyling, he's like that's an opportunity.
- We can work on that, 'cause sniffing someone's butt
is generational curses, so that's going down the line.
- I'll go with that, I'll go with genius level IQ.
- I want a dinosaur.
- You're in labor, and he's like trying to guide you,
and he's like ♪ You're having a b-b-baby ♪
♪ B-b-baby ♪ And you're like...
- ♪ B-b-baby dinosaur ♪ ♪ D-d-dinosaur ♪
- One!
- Yeah, I'm going with one. - Going for one.
- I'm picking person number two.
- I'm choosing number two, I mean, number one.
- Yeah, I feel like what we've learned in this one
is that one good trait can overtake a slew
of just medium traits to bad traits.
- I feel like you can just get used to the butt sniffing thing.
I don't think, in the end, I think it's more of just like
a quick little (sniffs), it's like a dip down and up,
and she just goes around.
- The lead singer of your favorite band.
- Taylor Swift?
- Lead singer of your favorite band.
That's sick. - (gasps) Harry Styles.
- Always gives you perfect gifts, I like it.
- That is such a green flag.
- I love like sentimental, like real thoughtful gifts.
- Mm-hmm.
- Slept with one of your parents recently.
(whistles)
- That would be rough.
- Oh.
- That like actually ruined everything.
- Taylor, why would you do that to me?
I strongly draw the line. - On the parents?
- Ugh, gross!
- You know what, your mom was really nice.
Right, she's cool.
(group laughs)
Very, very cool.
Very nice person, really got to know her.
- Lumberjack.
- Eh, for a woman, I like...
- I could see it being hot in the right way.
- That's what I'm talking about, 'cause that's, I'm...
- Just (pops lips) there to just chop some wood.
- Bring it back to me, I'm a lumberjack!
- I'm more into like real femmy femmes.
- Yeah, I mean, me too.
Maybe lumberjack's like a metaphor.
- Millionaire. (laughs)
- Ooh!
I'm a lumberjack that's a... - Millionaire.
- Is literally always naked.
I don't know, I guess,
once you kinda break the initial barrier
of the fact that she's always naked,
if she's a hottie, a lumberjack hottie,
I'm like yeah, here she is.
- And she's a millionaire.
- If she is a lumberjack millionaire,
that tells me right there she works out,
she got a lot of money, sexy body.
- She does not care about splinters.
- I'm going with... - I think I'm going with person one.
- Person one.
- I think I'm going with two. - I'm going one.
I feel like the money that they get
from being a lead singer could help pay for the therapy.
- Yeah. - Needed for this.
- Oh! - I'm going with two.
- Oh, give me a high five! You like 'em naked?
She like 'em naked! Millionaire baby, lumberjack!
- You think when you go always naked,
you shave down? - Yeah.
- You think so? I thought maybe not,
'cause at least then you have a little privacy with the hair.
- I feel like if you're always going naked,
I feel like you're not worried about a little privacy
with some bush. - Alright, yeah, maybe you're right.
- This one isn't necessarily a bad thing.
- But this person gives you good gifts.
- Yeah, that is... - I'm trying to forget about this.
- Hypnotherapy, things are... - Yeah, hypnotherapy works.
- They can pay for it, that's their fault.
- Exactly!
- Yo, thank you for watching my first video on REACT,
that red flag.
- Do us a favor, hit that like and subscribe button,
and share this with a friend.
- Goodbye guys! - Bye!
- Love you!
- What's the worst place to be naked?
I guess it would be a funeral.
- Pool hall. (laughs) - A pool hall. (laughs)
Hello!
- Corner pocket!