So I was yelled at for opening a door. I mean, not me, it was actually user,
I'm just gonna throw this over on Reddit that posted this really relevant story.
So I was heading into a local business. When I noticed in the glass, there was a
woman behind me. Naturally, I opened the door and stepped to the side for the young woman.
Now, at that point, she stopped dead in her tracks. And she said she's never gonna let
any bigot man help her in any capacity. Now the guy goes on to say he was just confused. He said,
"I understood. I'm a bit confused. Have a nice day." Now the story goes on. Cause
apparently she complained to the store, security comes up to him and says, Hey,
we hear that you were being aggressive towards another one of our patrons.
I like in the story how the guy actually stood his ground. He said, no, check the
cameras. You're gonna see the truth. And sure enough, they apparently check the cameras,
they see what happened, and they offered him an apology. Now the post itself. Is really
interesting. The guy that lays out the story went into a bit more detail and there were
additional comments I think that really backed up that this guy didn't do anything wrong.
Opening a door for a woman, why in the world would such a simple and many people proceed to be kind
gesture, become so controversial in today's modern age? I mean, seriously, most of you guys watching
this video are like, yeah, what's the deal and how did this even become an issue? Well,
that brings me to the point that I do wanna start this video with, is that I do think it has been
blown out of proportion and that it's only a very small percentage of women that have an issue.
With doors being opened and it is even, even smaller percentage of men that
have actually ever encountered anything negative. And if I'm wrong about that,
guys, let me know. I'd love to hear from you guys in the comments, but based off
of my research, I saw overwhelmingly in the comments, multiple threads on edit.
I know that truly scientific women were just coming outta the word work saying,
Hey, thank you guys. I appreciate as a woman with young kids having
to carry a lot of things. It's nice. I mean, there were tons of women talking
about how it was actually a reminder of something, a man, an uncle, a father,
someone that they cared about, that used to do it for them, and they really appreciated that.
Other men were stepping up and opening doors for them. In fact, the only women that were
complaining, and they were even pointing out that, Hey, this is a small thing,
but sometimes guys open the doors and they're actually in the way. I can't get in. Other
times I'm pretty far off. And they're holding their door open and I feel like I've gotta speed
up and I've gotta run so that I don't leave them holding that door for like 10 seconds.
But by far, the majority of women that I read in the comments, they were like really thankful that
men were looking out for them and helping them whenever they were in need. Now today's video,
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So the first reason why opening doors is becoming less common today is because of
changing. Social norms, and guess what? This has been happening for over a hundred years. In fact,
in 1962, sociologist Irving Goffman published his seminal work behavior in public places.
What he noted was very important, and that is the individual autonomy is prioritized.
By modern society and not chivalry, not all the mannerisms that for hundreds of years,
it pretty much dominated the behavior of men in public. The formal manners were basically dying,
and this was also reinforced by Deborah Tannin's book, talking from nine to five. She actually
discussed how traditional etiquette was actually an intentionally enforcing power hierarchy.
Now, I don't know about all that research, but I do know that traditional
etiquette is becoming less common, that the social norms that were. Once normal are not
being passed on, and mannerisms that were once common have become less common. The
example we're talking about today, opening doors. Now, what about gender equality?
This has definitely had an effect as well during the 1960s, 1970s,
also known as second wave feminism. A big part of that was challenging traditional
roles and being really clear that anything a man can do, a woman can do as well. Now this
push for equality. Question a lot of, you know, shouss actions, things that were just
traditions that men normally would do for women, but they reviewed as, okay, what's the purpose?
Is there an underlying reason that they're doing this? Is this
holding women back? Many people viewed opening a door as actually patronizing,
as viewing a woman as weaker. In fact, the feminist, Judith Butler was pretty clear
when she said, the performance of these customer acts only serves to reinforce.
Outdated gender roles now. Personally, I think a lot of this was an overt reaction,
but you can see where you've just got a small percentage of the population
that maybe is gonna be very vocal whenever they see somebody doing
something that they believe according to their dogma is holding them back.
You can see where they would be very vocal. Against this, right,
wrong, you know, my opinion, I think it's overblown. But guys,
I wanna hear from you down in the comments again. Have you ever experienced somebody
actually pushing back when you open a door or you do something really nice, what you consider to be,
you know, just a sign of chivalry and all of a sudden you're getting some negative pushback?
I'd love to hear from you guys down in the comments. Now let's talk about
misinterpretation because for a lot of you guys that are well established, you've been doing,
you know what you've been doing for 20, 30 years. Yeah. You're gonna continue to do
it because this is just simply how you are. But for a lot of the younger guys, you know,
you grew up during the Me Too movement, you've, this is now the new norm and it's confusing.
It's not really clear cut. You've got certain people that are saying something,
you read something online, and I think for a lot of people,
this is where it's tough is because it's not. Clear anymore, and this fear isn't
unwarranted. There was a paper in 2008 that came out, talked about discrimination in the workplace.
It talked about how a lot of well-intentioned behaviors were actually discriminatory how they
actually were holding women back. And so a lot of people read this stuff and they're wondering,
am I thinking I'm doing the right thing? Thing, but I'm actually,
you know, taking power away from women On top of that,
let's talk about the lack of education, the lack of people talking about these topics.
I know I see it in the comments all the time, Antonio, you take a topic that you could answer
in 15 seconds and you spent 15 minutes on it. One of the reasons I go really deep
on these topics and try to bring in history different re, you know, different viewpoints,
is I really want to be able to answer the question once and for all and be able to
give you the information so that you can go out there armed to make the right decision in your.
Circumstances and, but most of us didn't grow up with parents or maybe with somebody that we
could have these discussions with. And that lack of education, again,
is fueling just simply our uncertainty as to what actions to take. And this next point is
one we can't forget is that we are living in a society that's getting faster and faster.
Faster. I think most of us would agree. If you're in a small town,
you're probably going to experience a lot of just very nice, friendly people
that have the time to open doors, to engage, have small talk conversations.
Maybe sometimes you don't want to have it, but if you're in a big city, New York City,
you're in Shanghai, you're over in Delhi, I mean, People are just all over.
I mean, they're moving and get out of the way. Who has time? You open a door for
somebody and you're gonna have three or four other people, and no one cares that all of a
sudden you look like a doorman. So there is something to be said about where you're at,
the mannerisms that are local and simply how fast things are moving nowadays.
So I do see why a lot of modern guys like, man, why even bother? So then what are the
rules for the modern man on opening doors? What would I recommend you do? I'd recommend
you still do it. But I would say courtesy to all. Open doors for men, open doors for women,
open doors for anyone open. I mean, there's a cat that wants to get in, open the door for the dog.
You know, it's like, hey, just be nice. I mean, let's you know down to random billings,
cuz that could cause chaos. Did you guys get the point? Just be nice and friendly to people.
Next up, you do wanna respect individual. Preference. Maybe it is somebody that, uh,
you know, has an issue with it. You've seen them before.
You j okay, in that case, that grumpy old woman or that grumpy young woman just
simply avoid her because the person that they talked about in the beginning of the story,
I'm wondering what in the world is going through her mind? And that person was probably crazy.
Seriously, when crazy shows itself. And a woman, especially if you're dating her guys, believe her.
When she reveals who she is and or if you're friends, any that goes both ways. Men and women,
their actions and what they do reveals who they are. Believe them when they show you. Next up, you
wanna embrace cultural and social cues. Understand where you're at and what's going on. Like I said,
if you're in a small town in the United States, a lot of those mannerisms, they still exist.
Especially, you know, I know here in Wisconsin, small town, I see it all the time. Maybe not
always, but um, I, people are pretty darn nice to each other in a big city. Maybe, but you know,
look around. You'd be surprised how many nice people there are in the big cities,
Chicago, la. You go down to, you know, Brazil, just amazing people everywhere.
Understand where you're at. And by the way, Jens, I know we've got people from all over the world.
I'd love to hear down in the comments, what is your cultural norm over in Japan,
maybe over in India, over in China? What, you know, what do people follow
over in Ukraine? Let me know in the comments below. Do people open doors for each other?
And last but not least, communicate simply. Hey, Would you? I'm gonna hold
this door open for you. You cool with that? If they're not cool, they will let you know,
and then you can shut it right in their face. But no, if you have a question about it,
simply ask. There's nothing wrong with that. May I open this door for you?
You're asking permission. Most likely she's gonna say yes,
even if she wouldn't have asked for it. You're kind of already moving in that direction. Yeah,
it's kind of maybe a sly way to do it, but again, I have never had anyone, you know,
get upset with me for opening a door. All right, Jen, what video to watch next?
How about why did men stop wearing capes? Seriously, what happened? The cape was freaking
awesome. Men stopped wearing them. Why in the world did they do it? Guys? She got this video
right here. It's actually a really good one. I really enjoyed putting this together. Yeah.