"I can't stand my in-laws."
My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The
Marriage Foundation
and I produced these videos so that you
have
an avenue where you could learn positive
ways
to make your marriage phenomenal.
You should definitely subscribe to
this channel
and I'm going to help you with this
topic. If you can't stand
your in-laws I'm sure you have a list of
reasons
why but the way you worded it allows
me to share with you
a common sense approach
based on a principle that you're well
aware of.
It's called free will. You have
free will. So what does that mean?
Most people think it means I'll choose
this dress over that or this feature for
my new car
over that. I have free will I could do
whatever I want.
It goes much deeper than that.
In this case, you have
the free will to determine
how you see things. So
we are basically victims of our
habits. Now,
let's use a great example. Gandhi,
when he was walking towards his death
and didn't know it this guy comes out of
the crowd
puts a gun to him and fires two or three
or four times.
Gandhi had so well trained
his mind that rather than
see that man as his killer, he saw that
man
as his brother who needed love and
compassion.
Sure. It's an extreme example but we need
those
to show us how powerful this free will
is that you have. So you're seeing your
in-laws
in a particular way
and the mind is going, "No, but you don't
understand. You don't understand. You
don't understand."
I do. Instead of seeing their attacks
as attacks, you can choose to see
their attacks, let's call them attacks,
as defensiveness
which you could then respond to
with compassion, with understanding. Do
you see?
But you have to take this further than
just the surface.
If you don't take it past the surface
then your choices are very limited
and it's going to always cause a
disruption in your
family of you and your spouse, and then
the expanded family of your in-laws
maybe children blah blah blah.
So by seeing it in a deeper way
there's so much you can
do about this. What you do about it is
completely up to you, you have free will.
I suggest you start thinking about this
differently.
Now leave a like because this is an
amazingly cool video
and you could leave a question in the
comments or you could leave a comment.
At The Marriage Foundation, you could go
to our website themarriagefoundation.org
there's so much to see there and you can
even talk to a counselor. It's a free
service
but our whole thing is that marriage is
supposed to be
amazing and we have thousands and
thousands of people who have taken
our courses both for men and for women
and have learned how to experience that.
So thanks for spending time with me, I
hope this was helpful for you.
God bless!