In this video, we're going to be talking about how to make your ex chase you in a totally
authentic and genuine way, without having to play mind games. But first, my name is
Clay with ModernLove.Life, where we help you get the great loving relationship that you're
looking for without having to play mind games, without having to play hard-to-get, and without
having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not, because you deserve to be
loved for the unique, amazing, and wonderful person that you are. If you agree with me,
do me a favor by giving this video a thumbs up and by subscribing to this channel. Especially
if you are new here, there's a little subscribe button down there right next to the thumbs
up button, which I would love it if you pushed both of them.
Also, you may want to check out our course called the Ex Solution Program. It's our start
to finish blueprint for helping you to navigate your ex's emotional world so that they will
naturally want to chase you, spend more time with you, commit to you, see what's possible
between the two of you and bond with you. You can find out more about the Ex Solution
Program in the description box below this video. Let's go ahead and get into this.
Getting your ex to chase you, it's something that a lot of people really want to do. I
mean, I think it gives you that sort of confirmation that, yeah, they're into you. They want the
same things as you, they are wanting to spend time with you and all of that. How exactly
do you do this? Let's kind of understand what needs to be in place in order for this to
actually happen, and that's first and foremost, interacting with you when the two of you do
interact, it has to be enjoyable and uplifting for them. If they are not having an enjoyable
and uplifting time interacting with you, they're not going to go out of their way to chase
you or to pursue you or to spend time with you. It has to be something that they enjoy,
something that they get something positive out of. Okay? This is really obvious, but
you'd be surprised how many people kind of don't put this piece in place.
The second thing is that you have to remove emotional hurdles that are keeping them back
from actually wanting to pursue you. Obviously, the two of you went through a breakup, and
if that's the case, then there's probably at least maybe some degree of hurt feelings,
or at least there's very likely to be something like that there. You want to make sure that
you're able to clear away those hurt feelings, clear away the pain and the resentment, the
feelings of betrayal, the feelings of blame, the feelings of guilt, the feelings of shame,
all these sorts of things that could easily be hanging over the two of you. Oftentimes,
the best way to do that is to either just directly bring it up and just either say,
"Hey, those things that happened, maybe I said some things I shouldn't have said, maybe
I did some things I shouldn't have done. I imagine maybe this is how it affected you.
It wasn't my intention for that to happen. At the time, I was just caught up with whatever
I was caught up with." You know, just kind of give them some context and let them know
that you genuinely didn't want things to go that way.
Or, if you think that they're kind of hung up on something, just again, you want to adjust
their expectations. Oftentimes even your ex can be a little bit relationship focused and
kind of be thinking that like, "Oh, if I'm spending time with you, if I'm interacting
with you, if I'm talking to you, if I'm meeting up with you, that it means that this is moving
towards a relationship, or it means it's moving towards us dating. Is that something I'm ready
for?" Maybe not, and that can kind of scare them. What you want to do is you want to shift
their expectations down so that they know that we don't have to decide right now. Let's
just enjoy interacting with one another, and we'll figure out where this is going to lead
later, if this is going to lead anywhere. But, you know, let's not try and force anything
that's not there. This is a great thing to do that kind of lowers those emotional hurdles
that your ex might be experiencing. The next thing that you want to do in order
to really inspire your ex to chase you is, you have to make sure that you're able to
give them something that they can't get anywhere else. Of course, I'm not just talking about
getting laid or something like that. I'm talking about something that they can't get from any
other potential partner. This is most likely going to be an intense emotional connection.
Now, there are a lot of reasons for this. You know, we do live in a culture, in a society
that is becoming more shallow. There have been a lot of social scientists and sociology
type people that have researched this. I've read many books on this, ranging from authors
like Sherry Turkle and stuff like that. They basically say that our phones, our constant
connection to the rest of the world through social media, through constantly being able
to interact with things on our phone when we might just be doing dull, boring, ordinary
things caused us to actually turn away from the present moment. This, over time, is causing
us to be more emotionally and conversationally shallow and causing us to have a much more
difficult time connecting with other people. This is where you actually have the opportunity
to shine, because you can do everyone else by connecting with them in a much more easy
sort of way. Because, if you've taken into account the advice that we have shared with
you over these past several hundred videos that are on this channel, you should have
a pretty good sense about what it takes to connect on an emotional level. You should
be pretty good about understanding advanced relational skills and things like that. If
you want to learn more about advanced relational skills, if maybe this is all new to you, check
out our video playlist up there on advanced relational skills.
If you're able to connect with them on an emotional level, it's probably something they're
not able to get elsewhere and it's probably going to stick out for them, and it's probably
going to be something that is much more enjoyable and something that's actually becoming more
and more rare in our interpersonal interactions. That's probably something that I would recommend
that you use as the thing that they can get from you that they can't get elsewhere. Of
course, there's all sorts of frivolous external things like getting laid, or if you happen
to be a very wealthy affluent person, you might be able to shower them with luxurious
things or whatever. But, it's like cotton candy fluff. What you want is something substantial,
something that's going to actually move them to want to be in a relationship with you for
the right reasons. Right? You don't just want to be with a gold digger or something. Make
sure that you're able to give them something that they can't get elsewhere, such as a strong
emotional connection. Okay? Now, we're going to get into some interesting
things. Now, bear with me, okay. The first, I guess, fourth thing, if we're going to tally
this all up. But, the first interesting thing, fourth thing on our main list, is that you
don't want to become overly available to them. Now, this is where it's like, okay, well,
what's this? This is like a mind game? No, I'm not telling you to play hard-to-get, because
playing hard-to-get is putting on an act. It's trying to pretend that you're something
other than what you are. If you're really just kind of sitting around, waiting for them
to call you, that's playing hard to get. But, if you're actually out doing something, then
you're actually hard-to-get. Right? I want you to be doing things that are allowing you
to live the best life that you can. I know that with the situation, we might be not out
doing a lot of things in our lives right now, but hopefully you're watching this in the
future when the situation is over and we're all able to live great, wonderful, amazing
lives less than six feet apart. But, what you want to be doing is living into
your values and living the best life that you possibly can. This is naturally going
to cause you to not be available 100% of the time, and this is naturally going to allow
them to actually have the space to pursue you. Because, if you're constantly in contact
with them, if you're too available to them, if you're constantly reaching out to them,
constantly trying to initiate something with them, then they're not going to have the space
to chase you. Since the whole topic of this video is on how to get your ex to chase you,
you want to create at least a little bit of space by living the best life that you can
so that they actually have the room to come to you.
Now, I wouldn't recommend that you do this in a totally artificial sort of way, where
you're just, again, sitting by your phone, playing hard-to-get, pretending to be someone
or something that you are not. But, I'd recommend that you do this by actually doing things
that are important to you. Pick up some hobbies, talk to some friends online or something like
that. Or if you're watching this in the future when the situation is over, go out and do
some great, wonderful things that we all wish that we could do right now.
Fifth on our list but second in the sort of strange category is be willing to take things
slowly. Be willing to not rush things. If you're willing to take things slowly, one
step at a time, one methodical step after another. If you're not trying to rush from
where you are right now to being back together, you know, yesterday or something like that,
then it's going to give your ex more time to want more. It's going to give them more
time to want to get closer to you, to deepen that connection with you, to see what's possible
between the two of you. They're going to want to naturally kind of speed things up. If you're
willing to move slowly and they're trying to push things forward, that's going to create
that kind of chasing dynamic. Now, again, you don't want to fake this, because
honestly you really don't want to move things too quickly. You don't want to move things
too fast. You want to take things at a nice leisurely way, because you don't want to try
and force things that aren't there. You don't want to just get back together right away
so you can tick the box and say, "Okay, great. We're back together." I know that if you're
in damage control mode or something, it might seem that way, but really you want to have
a nice, genuine, authentic connection, and you want to see what's possible between the
two of you. That's going to happen on a slow, relaxed pace, where you're able to connect
in the moment, where you're able to check in with one another and say, "Hey, how are
you feeling right now," where you're able to call out things that are happening, little
kinks in the emotional connection that are maybe causing things to move less smoothly
than maybe you'd like. You just want to be able to take things sort
of slowly, and what this is going to do is it's going to allow the connection to organically
grow. But, it's also going to create the space for your ex to actually want more and to chase
after you. Again, I recommend you do this in a totally authentic and genuine way, not
in a manipulative mind game sort of way. But, again, they are going to naturally want more
if things are feeling good and if you're kind of taking things at a nice, relaxed pace.
Okay? That's what I'd recommend if you want your ex to chase you, okay, in a totally authentic,
genuine sort of way. Now, of course, if you do want to learn more
about how to do all of this, we do have our course called the Ex Solution Program. A link
to that is down below this video in the description box. It will show you how to navigate your
ex's emotional world from start to end, and it'll fill in all the blanks. It's kind of
our master blueprint, if you want to call it that, for getting back to go with your
ex. But, thank you so much for watching this video. If you would like to help support this
channel, hit that thumbs up button and subscribe down below. You may also be interested in
checking out this video series over here on signs your ex wants you back, or you might
want to check out this video over here. But, once again, my name is Clay. Thank you so
much for watching, and I'll talk to you next time.