Since Trump has decided to make his stay in Mar-a-Lago a permanent vacation, I asked Allana
Harkin to find out how Palm Beach residents are feeling about him these days.
This guy—whose name I’m never saying again—has been washed out of the White House, nixed
from New York, and axed from Atlantic City. Oh yeah, look at that casino implode. Oh,
God, let’s watch it again. Oh, yeah. That’s it right there. Work it. Work it. Sorry. Anyways,
this failed vodka vendor is now banished to Mar-a-Lago on the island of Palm Beach, Florida.
But ‘cause I can’t let s*** go, I friggin’ swam there—in my clothes, which didn’t
get wet—to find out what this horrid hellhole is really like.
- It’s like… hmmm… Beverly Hills in Florida.
Yes! Combining the charm of two of America’s most normal places, it’s a wonderland of
beautiful homes, high-end shopping, and luxury cars.
That’s a nice car. - There’s a Porsche over there.
But many of these wealthy, wealthy, wealthy people just want to overcompensate in peace—and
they’re not happy about the arrival of one recent retiree, America’s one-term dictator.
- Even the people that used to love him now kind of hate him.
Oh. - Yeah.
Because of the insurrection, or just everything? - Yep, kind of this whole, that whole thing
that happened at the end. Yes. “That whole thing that happened at
the end.” Awesome selfie, a**hole! Palm Beach resident Larry Leamer authored
a juicy history of Mar-a-Lago. Which is, please take this as a compliment, super b****y.
- Yeah. As Leamer explains, the insurrection insulted
the island’s ideals. - In terms of politics, they care only about
two things: low taxes and a roaring stock market.
Mhm. - Hey, Trump delivered, so they’re Trump
supporters. But the insurrection brought something totally different, and they turned on him.
So all the sort of, the racism, the throwing out trans rights, children in cages… none
of that stuff was bugging anybody? - Are you kidding? No!
No! What bugs them is that the unsuccessful steak salesman has settled at Mar-a-Lago.
That violates a 1993 agreement that no members could live there permanently. But of course:
- He’s never obeyed a rule in his life. Haha! Sucks for you, Palm Beach! New York’s
not taking him back! And maybe his return is a kind of cosmic karma. As Larry tells
it, Palm Beach society is partly to blame for the previous president.
- When you go to Mar-a-Lago, Trump goes around, he comes up to your table and he says, “Isn’t
this the most fantastic steak you have ever had in your life?” And you look down, and
it’s kind of pathetic, it’s nothing but gristle. But, what do you say to him? “Donald,
this is incredible. I’m so blessed to be here this evening. I’ve never in my life
had such a steak.” This is how we got here, Larry! Because people
were telling him that his burnt steak was good! Then he became president!
- Exactly. And how did people in Palm Beach feel about
that? Well, they were excited to share their point of view!
- I don’t believe in opinions. Okay, maybe not.
But across the drawbridge, in less luxurious West Palm, residents opened up.
- I’m not happy to have him here. Everything about him is an embarrassment.
- We’re full. We have enough. We’re full of Florida men.
- Can I curse? You can say whatever you want.
- I would call him an FF. Oh, yes. That’s granny for “f*** face.”
- I’m a Republican. Finally! We found an actual Florida man. So,
are you excited to have Donald Trump as a full-time neighbor?
- Um, not really. I don’t like him at all. Oh, okay.
- I believe he was the worst president ever. He’s arrogant, self-centered. I did not
like how he handled the pandemic and Black Lives Matter. I think he should be locked
up. Wow. I never expected a unicorn to be wearing
a tank top. In Palm Beach, signs have started to mysteriously appear, warning residents
about their new neighbor. Meanwhile, some residents have lawyered up, trying to get
the town council to enforce the agreement. What do West Palm Beachers think of that?
- I don’t care how white people on the island spend their money, you know. And if they wanna
sue him, it’s great. Sue his a**! This a** has done plenty of suing himself.
Lawsuits to turn Mar-a-Lago into a club, lawsuits to change flight paths, lawsuits over the
height of a flag. - He stuck it to this town. He took advantage
of it. And he learned the same things he did when he became president. It was like a mini
course in becoming president. The fake university founder is now claiming
he’s an employee of Mar-a-Lago, meaning he can live there. Which is absurd. And he’ll
probably get away with it. Ugh, that poor flag.
- I don’t think this lawsuit is gonna force him out of Mar-a-Lago. I think this could
generate a lot of aggravation and legal fees. And take years. But this is a blip on his
screen. He gets away with everything!
- He didn’t get away with trying to steal the election. There are now two criminal investigations.
That could pose his future freedom in jeopardy. And so, I think the days of impunity are over.
Hopefully so. This failed airline executive deserves to be hounded for the rest of his
days in whatever way possible. And believe me, I’m happy to do my part. P.S. Your steaks
suck, you FF.