how porn use escalates and how relapse
happens welcome back for another awesome episode of porn brain rewire with me Dr Trish Lee uh your
hostess with the mostess so in this episode I want to talk about the slippery slope of porn use if
you started watching porn when you were young in adolescence and you have escalated in your porn
use or other sexual acting out behaviors that is because of the brain mechanisms behind porn and
hypersexuality I want to break that down today so and secondarily if you have recovered from
porn use and you've put some of the pieces of the puzzle together but perhaps not all of them
and you have had a slip or a relapse this isn't something that has quote unquote just
just happened again there's brain mechanisms at play that lead to relapse and it has to do with
hypersexual behaviors and unhealthy dopamine stacking so what we're going to do in this
here episode is number one we are going to talk about all the slippery slope behaviors that lead
to escalation and or relapse in porn use addiction and Recovery number two what we're going to do is
talk about the brain mechanisms underneath those things namely tolerance building and tolerance
building leading to escalation and then number three is going to be your brain hack strategy
for the day which is going to be stopping or adios sing as I like to say unhealthy dopamine stacking
and to begin to get healthy levels of dopamine from your life which we may start with healthy
dopamine stacking and then use the puron reboot strategy stry that I love to be able to get your
brain to a place where it only wants healthy optimal levels of dopamine it no longer needs
big dopamine spikes from sexuality to make you feel good okay so first I'm going to talk about
the slippery slope behaviors that the hijacker will make you or encourage you to engage in so
that you continue to escalate your hypersexuality or you get back into your old habits so so let me
break them down for you um I have them here in some different categories but let's start out
with some lower level behaviors and then we will go we'll talk moving up into some higher level
sexual acting out behaviors number one is food number two is drink namely alcohol number three
is marijuana or other drug use and we could even put prescription prescription medication in there
as well then there is gaming pgtv which might have some sexuality in it social media which leads to
sexual media um masturbation and pornography and then leading up to sexual acting out with other
human beings but in a completely objectified or using objectifications how the hijacker in your
mind might use food so let's first start with dopamine what is it dopamine is the molecule
of more it motivates you back for more pleasure wherever you have conditioned your brain to go
to feel good to get lots of dopamine for many people that's food namely sugar so sugar might
lead you in the direction of kind of disinhibiting yourself because once you've had a bowl of ice
cream or once you've had chocolate it's like okay I'm already giving giving into some pleasure that
pleasure might lead you to pouring a cocktail so now you pour yourself a Jack and Coke which you
know I think are delicious but they're definitely not good for you they're ladened with alcohol and
with more sugar and it's kind of again opening the floodgates like oh okay that chocolate was great
and this Jack and Coke which I like to call a Jack and Cake this Jack and cake is delicious and it's
opening the gates even more then the hijacker gives you a brilliant an idea maybe if I just
smoked a little marijuana that would make me feel good too now those pleasure gates are opening wide
open then there might be going on social media and you convince yourself it's harmless but it leads
to sexual media where you're on social media but you're really there for dopamine hits of
looking at women who are scantily clad and you're convincing yourself you're there checking in but
you're actually there for dopamine hits so that's social media that leads to sexual media then then
enter gaming gaming is very dopamine producing especially when you play with high levels of
intensity for long amounts of time so enter in gaming there might be TV watching there might
be explicit TV watching and then before you know it you're sitting in front of porn porn may have
escalated to websites that involve interacting with other human beings in an objectified way
so let's just leave it at there's higher level escalation behaviors that I don't want you to go
to but you can even objectify your partner so it might be hookup culture just having a hookup with
someone it might be dating apps going on a dating app to just hook up with someone for more and more
dopamine this is what I want you to do in this podcast episode think about all of those behaviors
that I'm talking about and I'm going to list them one more time for you in a second but I want you
to think about what order this dis inhibition might be for you and I talk to lots of people
about their behaviors and I know this is highly individualized the food might be individualized
the drink might be individualized the behaviors might go in different order but what I also know
is this is systematic there's a system here that the hijacker in your brain is using to Break Down
The Walls to lead you to more higher levels of dopamine through sexuality or to lead you back if
you're trying to quit get a nice Journal that you write the stuff down in to let that hijacker know
you mean business you're staying in this journey you're not giving up because it's getting a little
challenging and write these behaviors down for yourself food especially sugary Foods is there
one that you go to late at night that starts to open the floodgates gaming TV alcohol marijuana
other drugs social media which leads to sexual media fantasy I forgot to mention that one I'm
going to come back to that one so let me just I guess I'll just talk about it right now fantasy at
a certain point this can become internalized for you where you might be using euphoric recall of
past partners you might be using euphoric recall of porn scenes that you've seen you might have one
act or scenario or one sexual behavior that hits your arousal template hard and you might think
about that it's internalized you don't even need an external stimuli you've internalized
the stimuli and you keep going back to it for a dopamine hit that's what fantasy is and when you
find yourself being baited by the hijacker it's a call for mood regulation it's to offset stress and
boredone um for example in infidelity or cheating that can be at the end of the slippery slope for
so many people that are in a relationship I talk to people all the time and they're like
I am blindsided by the fact that I cheated on my partner I love her I want to be with her I have
no idea how I got there and I say I have an idea it's the hijacker in your brain escalating to that
behavior for more dopamine than you've had yet and it's just the beginning because if you let
your brain get that amount of dopamine it's going to want more fantasy and all of these aspects have
to do with it masturbation masturbation has to do with this so if you have a masturbation habit I
know you might think to yourself it's harmless and it doesn't have to do with my partner but this is
what I want to challenge you to think about here why are you masturbating it's to offset stress or
to fill quote unquote boredom which is actually a lack of over stimulation so this masturbation
habit that you have is to keep your brain soothed and stimulated because it's using a dysfunctional
brain pattern that is what is at the core of the slippery slope and all of these behaviors
sexual acting out or objectification of other humans checking people out lusting dating apps
or other websites where there's human beings doing sexual a for you two satisfy your sexual
needs for higher levels of dopamine number two is what are the brain mechanisms at the core of
this slippery slope so first is the call for mood regulation it's your brain going I'm in
a pattern that's wired and tired I don't want to feel wired and tired anymore I want to feel calm
I want to feel focused and when that happens what your brain bra does is it tricks you into
going to hypersexuality because that's how you've conditioned it over time to artificially slide you
out of the pendulum effect brain strained brain and to slide you into artificial calm focus in
the middle so the problem is your brain is wired and tired and it wants to feel better and you've
taught it to go into the screen or to sex to shift it really fast into neutral and when you
do that you feel better for a Beat Just For a Moment afterwards it leaves you in a dopamine
deficit state if your wired and tired brain leads you to do something that gives you that Rush of
dopamine and you feel great how high you feel how great you feel you will have an equally low crash
now Newton's law also shows that if you keep doing that you will build tolerance and that high high
won't be able to go any higher you'll have to do something new and even more dopamine producing to
get you where you used to be able to get yourself before so I call it the high highs lead to the low
lows and even the higher highs lead to the lower lows and that high amount of pleasure leads to
a significant amount of pain that's what I call the pain pleasure Paradox and it's processed in
the same area of your brain and it is completely linked so the key to getting out of all the pain
in your life whether that be anxiety depression relationship problems lack of focus not being
able to get your job done no longer engaging in your hobbies erectile dysfunction if you want to
get out of that pain let me tell you the solution you have to stay away from those high levels of
quote unquote pleasure that you are getting from hypersexuality where the problem lies so does the
solution so the solution my friend is you got to stay away from the high highs and then you will no
longer have the low lows and I'm recording this podcast in November so it's no porn November we
already started it I'm calling it no Shan November I've said no to so many fun things that involve
drinking and staying out late because I am not drinking nor am I staying out late in November
and hopefully I'm going to keep the good habits rolling cuz if anybody's met me I love science
and I love to help people and I love to work but I also love to hang out with my besties who tend
to stay out late and drink and I've been a champ uh on Saturday night Saturday night yeah Saturday
night there was some bubbles and you know some wine tasting bubble event and I'm like no friends
can't do it so instead I was working out and I was so psyched with myself I'm like right now
I'm working out and then I took a shower and I just chilled with my peeps and I literally was
in bed I had to get up early on Sunday normally I would not normally but sometimes I would stay out
late with my friends and my daughter at a horse show on Sunday and I have to put a picture it
was so beautiful I was there for 10 hours at the hor show but I was there refreshed and I read my
new book all day while I stayed present watching her and hanging out with her friends oh such a
such a gift of being able to be present in that day and to feel amazing because I had a workout
the evening before and I got to bed early and I got an amazing night's sleep so that's the gift
of making that choice no Shenanigans November so I hope you're doing that also recognizing all of
these habits and especially these slippery slope habits so this doesn't mean you have to stay away
from social media forever it means you need to clean that feed up and stay away from sexual media
but it might not be you have to stay away from social media if you're single it might not mean
you have to stay away from dating apps forever but it means you need to learn how to use them
in a healthy way so really becoming aware of your own behaviors and staying off the slippery slope
so we can achieve your goals in November and for a lifetime let's get back to the brain mechanisms
the brain mechanisms are tolerance building that leads to an equal and opposite reaction High highs
low lows and we know that this tolerance building actually started with the seeds of addiction that
were planted back during adolescence or during that first exposure to porn so what happens is
porn is at the root of all of this for the most part for most people so for some people
it's individualized like I said but for the most part when you were young you were exposed to some
sexual stimula that was very dopamine producing for you it gave you a big dopamine Spike and
in that first exposure it Chang the Baseline dopamine level in your brain and this is what's so
dangerous about porn and being exposed to sex at a very young age sex at very high levels long before
your brain is supposed to process any of that your young brain couldn't process it so it changed its
levels and made it so that you had this higher reward sensitivity and this bigger dopamine Spike
and if you water those seeds over a lifetime it leads you in the direction of compulsive porn
consumption and sexual acting out slippery slope my friend which that leads to tolerance building
over all of that time what causes the escalation of porn use use or hypersexuality and what causes
going back for relapse or slips it is these brain mechanisms of wired and tired that need
more dopamine the more dopamine it gets the more dopamine it needs the more dopamine it gets the
lower the crash is in your real life dopamine drowning in the screen dopamine deficit in your
life which leads to mental and physical health issues anx xiety depression erectile dysfunction
lack of focus and motivation so let's move to your brain hack strategy number three for the day if
you've been dopamine stacking on this slippery slope in an unhealthy way let's switch that to a
healthy way now dopamine stacking is when you put together a whole bunch of activities that give you
dopamine to get more and more dopamine you stack them on top of each other so back to my example
if you eat a chocolate bar you pour yourself a cocktail you smoke a little weed you start to game
you check your phone social media and get some sexual media hits and then you watch porn that
is six dopamine producing activities at higher and higher levels very unhealthy dopamine stacking so
let's flip the switch on that and not do any of that and instead let's go to dopamine stacking
in a healthy way then ideally you need less and less dopamine and then that way your brain feels
great when you get all that healthy dopamine and then you get a beautiful night's sleep number one
way to have healthy levels of dopamine get a beautiful night's sleep let's think about
those slippery slope behaviors and put up some boundaries around them even if you have to say
no to some things then in its place get dopamine stacking in a healthy way it's going to serve you
and such a beautiful way figure out the things in your life that are very dopamine producing or
just use the basics workout movement people that you enjoy being with laughter showers cold showers
dopamine in a really healthy way figure it out and stay out of dopamine stacking in a healthy
way your brain will thank you and it will help you to avoid slips and relapses and it will help you
understand escalation Behavior so if you want help on this journey please reach out to me Dr Trish
le.com you can talk with me personally on the contact page you can sign up for Discovery session
where we talk but also you can see what services I offer there the 90day program under porn brain
rewire is a perfect start for most people it's a digital program where I run monthly meetings so
we do get to interact and it's affordable it's the aaa's it's accessible affordable and Anonymous you
can get started today without having to talk to me but when you get into that program you get a
complimentary coaching call with Zack Carter the lead coach and you get to have monthly meetings
with me so please go over to my website and let's start putting this hypers sexuality
behind you so you can move forward living out the life of your dreams I know it sounds cliche
but it's there for the taking once we optimize your brain and I would absolutely love to be
part of your journey all right until next time control your brain or it'll control [Music] you