i don't want to be vulnerable
[Laughter]
so once i found out that i would be
moving to
malaysia i was i was excited
but i was also a little bit nervous and
scared because it was very
short notice i found out 10 days before
i had to move
one part of me was excited because it
was a new beginning a new change and
i would be living on my own as well
which was the first time that i would be
doing that
but on the other hand i was also a
little bit
scared of whether it be hard for me to
find friends or
people that would become a support
system
because for me at least i found it
very hard to find people who are
actually
transparent and honest with their
motives because a lot of times i meet
people who
who like what i'm doing but not really
like me as a person they just
want the things that come with me but
don't actually want me
for who i am i was a little bit scared
whether i was going to be homesick but
i also thought that i could always go
and visit my family
fly back and forth because malaysia and
thailand they're not that far
apart from each other but right when i
moved to malaysia
lockdown happened it was not fun
being on my own for that long with my
own thoughts
but i'm glad that i had my team
from vet records always checking in and
always
asking me how i was doing and if i was
fine and sometimes they would send
like little gifts for me too to kind of
like
cheer me up so i think
that has helped me a lot once i got used
to
my daily routine and just that i saw
that i was
living during quarantine that's when
everything changed again
and it was announced that lockdown was
lifted now
and my team also told me that they have
dates for
the single release and also dates for
the music video shoot
and all these thousands other things i
have to prepare myself for and
it was really overwhelming because i
went from living this
slow life to suddenly having this really
tight schedule that i
need to fulfill every single day
sometimes when i've already fulfilled my
daily tasks i still feel like i haven't
done enough or i should be doing more
and i would just worry too much about
tomorrow or the future
i've realized that i just need to take
it day by day and
not to worry about tomorrow too much
because tomorrow worry about itself
and i just need to learn to live in a
moment a little bit more
i think one thing that i appreciate
about our team
is that everybody doesn't see me as
just an artist or a quote-unquote
product but more as a person
which i find really really nice and i've
never really
had a relationship like that with
other people that i've worked with
before so i think that's something that
i find
special i feel much more hurt now even
not just as an artist but as a person as
well because i feel like
people around me actually care about me
and listen to me and want to know
how i feel what my thought thoughts are
i know that
there are a lot of expectations on me i
think maybe i've been pushing
myself more than other people have been
pressuring me
because i think
i think it's good to be goal driven but
i think
i would rather focus on the people
around me and the friendships and the
relationships that i have
because for me at the end of the day
accomplishments and success will only
stay for a moment and then it's just
going to be
a thing of the past but the things that
will stay are
the people that are around you and at
the point of
what is considered my peak i will still
have those people around me
and i hope that i can live a life that's
purposeful not just for me but also the
people around me and that i can
bring good things into their lives as
well