I figured since women can paint their boobs
and show them on Instagram,
I should be able to paint my dick and do whatever I want.
True.
So, put together this cyclist suit with fucking ...
The spandex shirt, the ten speed bike, and the helmet,
and we just painted on the shorts.
Just straight black paint.
So, I can go cruising around riding this bicycle
and crashing it in front of people,
and they're like, "Oh, are you okay?"
They reach out their hand to lift me up
and I've just got my schlong fucking like that.
So, we got me all decked out.
The costume just looked fucking hilarious.
And I took a photo, hoisting up the bike.
I text this photo to Knoxville, and he writes back,
"That's the smallest black dick I've ever seen."
That's what's so funny about those, when the girls do that.
They paint on jeans, and will anybody notice in a store
if a girl's pussy and asshole are out?
And it's always at first, look, no one notices.
By the second store they always notice,
because their pussy and asshole look like
The Ultimate Warrior's face at the end of WrestleMania.
Oh yeah, it's like cracked and losing.
Oh yeah.
Just covered in sweat.
Was your asshole in a cage match with the Natural Disasters?
We have a video that we want to watch of ...
Do you know who Lil Boosie is? He's a rapper?
Oh, it sounds a little familiar.
I heard the name before.
I don't know who he is, but on WorldStarHipHop today
they had a video of him, I guess-
Is that something you frequent pretty regularly?
It's his news source. First thing every day.
That's where you get your news from?
It's my CNN, man.
I'm pretty sure I could plant information on WorldStarHipHop
that Jay would believe is news if I got it on there.
If you put it on...
The only footage I've ever watched of Donald Trump
is when I clicked a video that says,
"Donald Trump fucking up again.
Shake... SMH."
Jay needs super hood introductions
to all of his news stories or he goes,
"Oh man, Saudi Arabia popping off at the mouth.
You ain't even going to believe what they did."
And he's like, "Do you know they killed a journalist?"
Obama going ham on Syria.
Most of Jay's knowledge comes like that.
How far these fans are willing to go to get your attention.
This made me laugh because...
I don't know if I would normally click this,
except it was in the uncensored part,
so I'm like, what is this girl going to do?
She got fake lips, right?
I mean, yeah, but this is great. Lil Boosie's a rapper.
He's talking on Instagram Live to this girl, and he just...
Everything about her voice ...
A white girl with a hip-hop thing,
and then revealing her body,
this hilarious sort of weird mom body she has,
[crosstalk 00:02:41]
Can I guess on the voice?
The stuff he's saying, it's just great.
Can I guess on the voice before we see it?
Is she going to be like this? "My pussy's so good."
Sort of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of.
"It's so good."
She goes [crosstalk 00:02:51]
"Oh you already know. You already know."
And she go, "Oh yeah, no, this pussy what's up."
And then this dude going, "Darlene! Darlene!
The fucking Camry is blocking me."
Yeah, I'm telling you-
Am I not wrong? I know white trash.
It's more ...
I think it's definitely Southern white garbage for sure.
I'll take our temperature. We've all better-
And if you get ... all the new backpacks I have.
Wow.
Hook me up. I messaged you, so if you could message me back.
Hell, when you was down here back in Atlanta
the police kept running us off till-
Oh, she is fucking Southern.
She sounds like Danielle Bregoli.
I had two pictures of your mama and you and your sister-
Wait, pause it, by the way?
I want you to pay attention for some key words here she says.
She sounds like Boomhauer from fucking King of the Hill.
Yes, she says something- [inaudible]
Come now [inaudible 0 She gon' [inaudible]
I was trying to reach you. Come on [inaudible].
I'll have you know that Danielle Bregoli-
Yes? Yes?
... the cash me outside chick-
Oh, yeah? ... is my neighbor.
Really? What?
Come on come on, dude. Danielle Bregoli?
No shit. Yeah.
Can you put in a good word for us? We love her.
Dude, we've- We went 180 on her.
I still haven't talked to her, and-
You've never caught her outside?
That was perfect.
That was really good.
I know. I love you, Jay.
I mean, sometimes just fucking preparation meets opportunity,
and you just fucking-
You opened the window. I just jumped through.
Watching that home run leave the park,
and I was like, "That's my friend. That's my friend."
That's so good. We've driven past her a bunch of times.
I've never had the nerve to get out and introduce myself.
You could ... There's a good tie in to Theo Von.
You know Theo? Sure.
He was just in her last video,
as a pedophile that she brands on his forehead.
Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.
Did a great job.
Well, we love her. I've gone 180 on ...
We came out first thing, what a horrible thing
it was that this young girl's acting like this,
and she never actually ...
Then society just made her a bazillionaire,
and then I'm like, fuck it, I'm steering into it.
I like her now.
Yeah. Dude, it's crazy, man.
She's selling out large venues every time.
As someone that just did a very half-sold
Albany Funny Bone, I'll tell you, that stings.
No one wants to catch me inside, let alone fucking anywhere.
They don't want to watch-
And then the staff tells you, goes,
"That wasn't your fault, dude."
He goes, "You're competing with Bregoli this week."
He goes, "Oh, dude, Cash Me Outside's in town."
Bhad Bhabie's in town.
Bhad Bhabie. Bhad Bhabie.
Also, there's a giveaway at a Toyota ...
There's a Toyotathon going on.
There's Theo. There's also a Toyotathon?
I used to get the worst ones. He goes, "Oh, man, I'm sorry
there's nobody here this weekend for any of the shows."
And they go, "No, it's fine,
there's the pumpkin festival's this weekend in town."
Yeah, they always have some-
"Oh, dude, you're dealing with Honda's Deal Days of Summer."
You go, "It's December." And they go ...
He starts asking her about if things are real,
and one of the things she says are real are her eyes.
What?
She goes, "My eyes real, too.
People be asking that all the time."
[inaudible 00:05:51].
[inaudible 00:05:52].
She goes ... [inaudible 00:05:54]
"A lot of people think I have glass eyes, but-"
To this girl, this is her shot at the big time.
This is her fucking ... This is it.
She gained audience with Lil Boosie.
Yeah. You want to sit down with the Lil Boosie?
I don't even know ...
Am I saying his name right? Boosie?
Boosie, I think. Yeah, Lil Boosie.
Well, let's see where this goes.
He is ... This is just another Tuesday for him.
... because I have my kids and stuff,
and I sent them to you,
but I don't know if you ever got them or whatever,
but it's ... Be for real, man.
[inaudible 00:06:23]. Send me some-
What are we watching?
I don't know.
Instagram Live.
I think this is a murder video.
A wacky white girl has somehow got Lil Boosie
to just take her ...
On Instagram Live, when you're on Instagram Live,
it ... can people- You can split windows and stuff.
Can you? I don't know. That's what I'm saying.
I think you can. I don't know. I don't know.
That's what's happening here.
So this is like a direct person that he accepted,
and I think it's a naked, odd white woman who ...
I like when they talk to you, also ...
Not to you, but to this guy.
When they talk to celebrities like that, just that, he goes,
"Did you get I dunno if you got it.
I sent you a box of my hair last month. Did you get that?"
"I sent in you toenails for the past six months.
Were you gettin' my envelope a' toenails?"
So Lil' Boosie's on top.
He's a I guess a well known rapper
and the girl underneath is a fan who got his attention.
He is nonchalantly asking her to do weird things.
She is like "oh yeah is that what you want?
Okay" and she starts doing it. It gets bizarre.
Do you think she gets naked
before the call or during the call?
But, she naked already. That's what I am saying.
She's currently naked.
Does she put the phone down
and she goes "Naw I'm still here hold on."
So Worldstar just goes ahead and shows everything?
Well they let you know it's not safe for work.
Oh, gotcha But,
It its all safe for.
When I'm taking a shit when I am watching it on my laptop.
Meant while Christine thinks you're just in there
talking to a southern hurricane.
She wishes I was jerking off. I love you beau.
[inaudible] love the me toos so please don't play.
You know I'm [inaudible] I got you man I got you
These eyes real too.
Everything real my ass real, these lips real it's all real.
Ain't no [inaudible] over here.
Suck that finger again. Taste that pussy. [inaudible]
She sucking her thumb?
She just does it. Suck yo Pussy
Suck your thumb like a child.
Yeah that's how we gon know if its good.
If you don't taste it, it ain't clean.
You gotta taste that bitch. [crosstalk] Ah baby we clean
[inaudible] we clean now. That's all [inaudible]
This man's hood been cleaned
Yeah that's the only way they gon know its clean
if you taste it.
[inaudible] clean now. [inaudible] ready please.
It'd be funny if you were a guy sleeping in the room next to it
and you're just hearing this loud.
You go "It's fucking clean! Is it clean?"
Oh it clean. She just keeps sniffing her own pussy for him.
She's fingering her pussy and then sucking on it?
Yes and he goes "That's how you know"
I mean
Yo Lil Boosieism number 423
"You gotta suck your own pussy. That's how you know it clean."
He's ripping a huge fucking blunt.
Which the second I got high
I would just see all the silliness in this
and I'd be like "You should go put on some clothes"
Yeah lady what are you doing?
I just
Wait now she's sucking on her fucking it looks like her
Lexapro bottle. She's sucking on a travel sized Listerine.
That's actually what it is
Is that what it really is?
I do a lot of traveling.
You Syndicate. You bad-ass [inaudible 00:09:21]
Syndicate yeah ooo.
I stay hygiene lil babe.
I stay hygiene
[crosstalk 00:09:28]
All clean. Good. See if have it good.
I mean Man yo' pussy clean, okay
That's the first sentence I've understood.
And yo' pussy clean Oh hey.
There we go.
Let me see that pussy.
She clean baby
That pussy look clean.
She clean, you want to see it.
[crosstalk 00:09:46]
I don't want to get kicked off of here but,
[inaudible 00:09:48] look at it real quick okay?
Yeah she like it in the ass.
That's hilarious.
Oh yeah, look at that asshole. That's just like the pussy.
That would kinda hurt. You know what would be funny
if she picked it up a little hurt and she goes
"Did you say my asshole looks like my pussy?"
He goes "Yeah they exactly
the same ain't one better then the other"
And she goes "[inaudible 00:10:08]
doctor says I got a lazy butt hole
that's why it looks like a pussy."
Wait no back up what is he saying as he's bobbing his head?
I came before this.
Who's giving all the hearts? This is definitely public.
Who's giving all the hearts?
Oh, Stacy256, Lil Perfect
Your anus is very clean.
Up Shit Mark.
Dude, that's crazy that other people are watching this on
Instagram live. Just fucking-
Why? How could you look away from it?
No but, I'm saying commenting just being supportive like
"Good butt hole"
Yeah, he goes "Oh Boosie you [inaudible 00:10:40]
that [inaudible 00:10:40] clean.
I think her eyes fake though. I think her eyes may have fake."
[inaudible 00:10:47]
told me how you gonna send me those tickets or what?
Yeah I got you man VIP standards.
Man you [inaudible] man. Every time we come to the city.
Anyone Yung Bleu anybody come to the city call it man you
Syndicate man.
Okay I didn't catch that. So are we good for tickets?
Yeah. He goes so are you gonna put them under my name
plus three or do I give you everybody's name?
Are those at [inaudible 00:11:14]?
I just don't want to show up
if I'm supposed to have something printed out
you gotta tell me before I leave the house.
I ah
Boosie I hate to do this
because I know you're in a car with some friends.
Again I showed you my butt hole.
I just wondering if I can get tickets.
It's me Instagraming Boosie "Hey, Lil Boosie. Dan
Soder ah let me show you my butt hole real quick.
So are those good for tickets?" "Man who the fuck is you?"
What is she saying?
"Who this white boy? Showing me his hairy ass asshole?"
"Lil Boosie are we cool? Can I get tickets"
"Dang ol' [inaudible]
you get a gumbo recipe and my butt hole."
That's cool and I like that three months
from now he's gonna go
"Yo' 'member that bitch from we met that girl Hailey?"
He goes "I don't member who Hailey is"
He goes "Hailey man, butt hole look like a pussy."
"Oh butt hole pussy." "Yeah butt hole pussy."
"How's butt hole doing? That's Charlotte right?"
Was that the Charlotte?
"That was in the North Carolina leg of the tour."
[inaudible 00:12:11]
it'll take your[inaudible 00:12:13]
What's the Backpage deal?
I want to see fo' real.
Aight, it's done say no more.
Dude it's so funny that he's Thank you for
[inaudible 00:12:23] me, talk to you later.
Let me put my clothes on
'cause ain't no one else get the respect you get Boosie.
No one gets the respect you get.
Yeah, Also he has such fucking hanging up with my grandma tone.
When he goes "Okay okay okay."
Everything she's saying he's going
"Okay I'll see you when I'm there okay."
I think Worldstar could have done
a little bit of editing on that.
Yes, I completely agree with you.
I don't know They could've gone
I'll tell you what.
To me that's like Appetite for Destruction.
The whole things perfect.
Everything's necessary
I don't like Paradise City on it's own.
But you take it out of Appetite for Destruction?
You gotta leave it in there.
It all builds.
You don't watch parts of the Godfather.
Ah that's just fucking, that girl.
I love that she's like "I got Boosie ticket's today"
"My eyes real before you ask, Errybody ask.
Errybody ask all the time "
But, no one did ask.
No one asked that day.
Her narrator. "No one ever asked
to see her eyes it was always her butt hole."
You want to take our last break?
"Her pussy like butt hole."
We will take our last break we're hanging out with Steve-O.
We think we found her or we hear we did find her.
We found her.
Ladies and gentlemen we got 'em
Black Lou's doing everything he can.
The internet is an amazing place that you can just find a girl
who show'd a rapper her butt hole on Worldstar.
She's sucking her finger that's her trait.
That's a technique.
"This so y'all know my pussy and butt hole clean.
I keep it clean"
It'd be great if she went to do it
and just winced once without knowing it.
She just "[inaudible] fuck sorry, caught me off guard"
By being on this page you've now fucked that computer, huh?
Yeah, this computer tomorrow they're gonna boot it up
and this is gonna fucking. It's gonna look like
it's loading a program from the eighties.
Was Christine looking for Alabama pussy?
Yeah, Oh my god the show before us was hiring escorts.
It's her? Shut up
Shut the fuck up we got her.
She wants to talk to Steve-O fantastic.
Nice.
Hang on is this Hailey? Do we have Hailey on the line?
Is this Steve-O?
Yeah, what up? How's it going Hailey?
Is this him for real?
It is certainly Steve-O for real
and I have just viewed your butt hole.