Do you want to make new sewing friends but the thought of meeting strangers at a party
has you running and hiding? Well I want to talk about that.
I'm Jennifer Weiss, founder of Workroom Social and Camp Workroom Social and at Workroom Social we
teach people how to sew their own clothes - clothes that fit their unique styles and their individual
body shapes and sizes. Through Workroom Social, I meet a lot of people and I have to say that the
very best part of my job is connecting with sewists just like you. Even though sewing is my profession
I'm not the world's greatest sewist. I'm also not the premier expert on sewing, in a lot of ways
I'm still learning a lot of the same things that you are and in Seamwork's new series
Dear Jenny I thought that we could explore some of these sewing-related thoughts and questions
together and through these discussions I thought that we could figure out a way
to grow both as sewists and as people. Okay now it's time for our very first letter
and it's looking like it's all about getting social that's right s-e-w social. Dear Jenny, Help!
I just bought a ticket for my very first Frocktails event not only do I have to sew a really
impressive outfit but I have to talk to my online sewing friends in real life. I'm an introvert
and I've never been to a sewing social event. Do you have any advice for me? Anxiously yours, A timid
sewist. Now I have to say I absolutely love this letter and you know why? Well it's because I also
get anxious going to social events where I need to talk to strangers and I don't know anyone. Just
to make sure we're all on the same page a Frocktails is a sewing social of sorts. It's a large
gathering, usually a party where people get dressed up and there's usually dancing and food and a lot
of socializing. It's an opportunity to meet other sewists in your area. Whether you're attending an
actual Frocktails or another sewing social event of some kind I'd like to take the time to
think about how we can adapt our perspective of these kinds of social gatherings. So I want
to talk about making two mindset shifts about going to these kinds of events where you're
gonna maybe walk in and not know anyone. Okay so our first mindset shift, a timid sewist writes
"not only do I have to sew a really impressive outfit..." so that comment right there,
I would like to challenge that idea. I wonder why do we even need to sew anything at all
to attend a social gathering, let alone this, you know, really impressive outfit and just to be
clear I'm sitting here with you today and I'm not wearing a single handmade item
on my body and in my opinion that doesn't make me or you any less of a sewist. Now going back to
this concept of a really impressive outfit, I'm wondering what exactly does that mean. We get a
lot of pressure from social media to make all of the things, and make all of the complicated things,
make it big, make it colorful, throw some glitter on top, and you know if you have time maybe you
should make your shoes too. If the idea of all of that gets you so excited, well go for it,
and if the idea of that makes you maybe a little bit sweaty, actually I'm a little bit sweaty right
now just thinking about it, I want you to know that your value as a sewing friend is not tied to your
sewing output. Frocktails and other sewing socials are community events. They're designed to bring
people together and to give people an opportunity to make new friends and have human connection.
These kinds of events aren't successful without you there, being open to meeting new people, talking
to strangers, and making new friends. Instead of thinking about how we need to produce something or
make something to get validation from others I want you to remember that the event
is not the event without you there. You, not the things that you make are the most integral and
important part of these social gatherings so I want you to put on whatever makes you feel great
and remember that we need you there to be an active part of the community
for any successful event. Okay and now mindset shift number two a timid sewist writes "but I
have to talk to my online sewing friends in real life..." Yes, we are talking about in real life events
where you probably aren't going to know anyone and you're going to need to talk to strangers
but we are all adults and no one is going to force you to talk to people that you don't want to talk
to. So the mindset shift here that I want to invite you to have with me is that you don't have to
talk to anyone, you get to talk to anyone and how lucky are we that we get to attend these events
and meet all the wonderful people who will also be there. Our friend a timid sewist
chose to buy that Frocktails ticket so I can only assume that they chose to go to Frocktails
because even though they are a self-identified introvert they want to make new sewing friends.
So with the mindset that we get to talk to people I want to give you two things that I do when I'm
feeling really anxious about needing to meet new people and make conversation with strangers.
Number one: be curious and ask questions to learn about the new person that you're talking to.
And this is something that you can even do before an event so that you can feel prepared going into
this social setting knowing that if you find yourself sort of in an awkward situation you'll
have a way to make conversations with a stranger. So since we're all going and we're all sewists,
here are a few question ideas for you to keep in mind. Feel free to steal all of these, use them,
add to them too! Okay first, I love to ask what is your proudest make
and why. I love asking people if they know what their personal style is and if they do how has
that changed over the years or if they don't that might be a great conversation starter right there.
I mean me personally, oh it's a whole can of worms, I don't know what my style is. I love asking about
a learning success that someone has had, you know, what's a learning success that has stuck with you
and what was your takeaway. It's so wonderful to learn from everyone's mistakes. And last, I love to
ask about people's dream projects. So do you have a dream project that you hope to make one day?
Tell me about it. What is it and maybe what's stopping you from embarking on that journey?
So now that we have a couple of questions in mind, thing number two that you can do when
if you're feeling anxious to make conversation with strangers is to listen to the other person's
responses and I mean listen to learn, not listen to respond. If you truly listen with a curious
mind and an open heart, it is just going to lead to more questions and you're going to cycle through
these two things over and over again and you are going to be the best conversationalist
and self-identified introvert at any sewing social party. Now I would love to hear from you
what advice do you have for a timid sewist? I hope you'll share your advice in the comments below
and I'm going to be checking them because I want that advice too. I'd love a couple of pointers for
the next time I'm out at a sewing social. If there's something sewing related that
you would like to chat about on a future episode of Dear Jenny for Seamwork you can write to me
at hello@workroomsocial.com or leave your ideas in the comments below. Before I go
I want you to remember that there is an amazing sewing friend out there that you haven't met yet
and you're only going to meet them by being open to the experience. So if you're out at a sewing
social sometime in the future and you're feeling really nervous about making strangers look for
me and if you happen to see me there come say hello and know that I will be very excited to
talk to you and make sewing friends. Until our next episode of Dear Jenny, I'll see you later. Bye!