That's right. The whistleblower's complaint
has accused the president of soliciting
foreign interference in America's election,
which is really bad for Trump.
What's even worse, is that this entire complaint
is only nine pages long,
which means people might actually read it.
Hell, if it had a few pictures,
Trump himself might even read it.
'Cause you guys, you guys don't remember, but that was one
of the big problems with Robert Mueller's report.
It was, like, 500 pages.
Nobody wants to read 500 pages.
You could give me the secret to eternal life,
but if it's 500 pages long, I'll be like,
"Yeah, I'll just die. It's fine.
"I... Yeah, just bury me in a gold coffin.
I'm fine."
Now, this document reiterates
a lot of the things we already saw in the transcript
of the Trump-Ukraine phone call,
but it also goes beyond that.
Like, you know how Trump and his allies keep saying
there was no pressure to Ukraine?
There was no pressure on them to investigate Biden?
Well, the whistleblower's complaint says differently.
There was an understanding with Ukrainian officials
that to get a meeting with President Trump,
they had to play by some ground rules.
And those ground rules dealt with having to talk
about the Biden investigation.
When you go to the whistleblower complaint
where it says, "Multiple U.S. officials
"told me the Ukrainian leadership was led
"to believe that a meeting or a phone call between
"the president and President Zelensky
"would depend on whether Zelensky showed willingness
to play ball," George.
That's right. According to the whistleblower,
Trump refused to even speak with Ukraine
unless they agreed to play ball and investigate Joe Biden.
And this must have been confusing, right,
because to Ukraine, "play ball" means soccer,
but to Trump, "play ball" means chasing the meatball
that fell out of his sub.
(mimics Trump: "I'll get you, meatball.
I ate your family; I'm coming for you."
(normal voice): Now, Trump and his defenders are saying
that the whistleblower's account is fake.
All right? Because they say that the whistleblower
is basing all of this on secondhand information.
He didn't hear the calls, and he hasn't seen anything himself.
They also point out
that the president of Ukraine himself said yesterday
that he never felt any pressure from Trump.
Although, if you actually watched
the Ukrainian president say it,
you might come up with a different impression.
I think you read everything.
So I think you read text.
I... I'm sorry,
but I don't want to be involved
to Democratic open elections of U.S.A.
No. Sure, we had, uh...
I think, good phone call.
It was normal.
We spoke about many things, and I...
So, I think-- and you read it--
that nobody pushed it. Pushed me.
-Yeah. -In other words, no pressure.
(laughter)
Okay. Okay.
I don't want to contradict the president,
but I-I don't think the translation of that
was "no pressure."
That man seemed like he was under intense pressure.
I mean, he actually said the line,
"I don't want to get involved."
I mean, that's not a comfortable phrase
you ever say when you're comfortable.
"How you feeling?" "I don't want to get involved.
I'm so comfortable."
You can't ask him that question in front of Trump.
It's like asking the hostage how he's being treated
while the kidnapper is right next to him.
"Uh, how are they treating me?
"Oh, it's, um... it's amazing.
Yeah, uh, last night, they even gave me toilet paper."
(mouths)
"I love it here."
(laughter and applause)
You can't ask him in front of Trump, man.
(cheering and applause)
So, the whistleblower's complaint accuses Trump
of pressuring the Ukrainians,
while Trump and his people say they did nothing wrong
and that the call he made to Ukraine was completely fine.
In fact, Trump himself said, "It was perfect.
"Completely fine.
The most perfect call ever made of all time."
But here's the thing.
If there was nothing shady about that call,
then why did the White House staff
work so hard to make sure
that it never saw the light of day?
This whistleblower was hearing
from people inside the White House.
"These White House officials who told me this information
"were deeply disturbed by what had transpired
in the phone call."
And then he details how there was an effort
to lock down the phone call to make it sure
that only a very limited number of people
would have access to it, so they put it on a separate...
basically, a separate server. (chuckles)
-Um... -Yeah, they took it outside the normal channels
and put it into a channel that is normally reserved
for highly classified, compartmentalized information.
For the most highly, uh, classified information.
You see, now, that's-that's highly suspicious.
Because if the call was "so perfect,"
why did Trump's people want to get rid of it immediately?
That's something you only do
when you're trying to hide shady shit.
Like, if you came home from school
and your parents told you that Grandpa died of natural causes
and, "We threw his body in the river,"
you would have some follow-up questions.
You'd be like, "Wait, why'd you throw it away?"
"I-It was natural. We're just... we're just like,
'Grandpa needs to go now. Like, right now.
Right now.'"
So, basically,
White House officials heard the phone call
and then moved the record of it from its normal computer
to a more private server so that nobody would see it.
And, yes, this is a new scandal about a private server,
#ThrowbackThursday.
(laughter)
-It, uh... -(applause)
Really is interesting.
Wouldn't it be nice if this was the meet-cute
that brought Trump and Hillary together, you know?
Like, he just calls her up like,
"I finally understand you, Crooked Hillary,
We're the same."
(laughter)
But the biggest revelation... the biggest revelation
about this private server isn't just that it contains
the phone calls with Trump and Ukraine.
It's that it might contain many more.
The complaint adds that this was "not the first time"
White House officials used an extra secured server
meant for classified
and especially sensitive information.
That means calls with other world leaders
were set aside, covered up.
Who are those other world leaders?
That's right. Who are these other leaders?
What are the conversations?
We thought this was just a Ukraine story,
but that secret server could contain
multiple conversations Trump doesn't want anybody to hear.
And nobody has access to those calls,
so there's no way to find out.
Or, at least, there was no way to find out.
Because, you see, The Daily Show has a secret spy
deep inside the White House.
Melania. And thanks to that spy...
(laughter and applause)
...we've been able to get our hands
on a few of those embarrassing calls.
"Not good, folks."