What's crackin', Decepticreeps? 'Tis I, back once again with that semi-regular Megatron segment
- this time with a small departure from the usual binary mode paradigm
'cos don't you ever look at your Transformers and think, "Hmm! I wish that thing couldn't do half the stuff it does"?
Yes indeed, time to dunk yer head into Transformers R.E.D. - that's "Robot Enhanced Design" to yours and mine -
an ostensibly standalone side-line of highly posable, aesthetically- driven, non-transforming action figures of top-level characters
lookin' like they were peeled right off an animation cel and delivering devastating dopitude from every conceivable angle,
all the while lumbered with a name so semi-sensically clumsy
it could only have been concocted backwards from the acronym they wanted
because some hack in the branding team was so set on naming it a colour -
y'know, try and give it that Star Wars Black Series adult collector credibility.
And yeah, look, I know what you're thinking:
"What d'you mean, they don't transform? What is this, Action Masters?"
First of all, I don't like how y'all talk about Action Masters, all right?
Action Masters were good! They were fun! They were cute!
They gave us sweet new characters like Banzai-Tron and Rad.
He's literally CALLED Rad. That's his NAME.
You leave Action Masters alone, all right?
Besides, the R.E.D.s are clearly plucked from the Revoltech orchard
with that particular clickular dynamicular posing power,
a deluge of different expressive pop-off hand options
and great big chungly actual revolver joints? I see you!
So, stylistically speaking, good old Ronald Regatron here is aggressively animation styled,
with the cut and the colours kind of coalescing into a sorta soft-form Saturday morning energy,
all pleasant, lively tones and appealingly simple shapes for that beep-boop space robot swishness.
Gotta say the proportions feel a smidge skewed -
these oddly stumpy arms look all right in action, but dumb as dicks when they ain't,
while his lanky legs thrust his tiny torso an almost unreasonable distance off the shelf
almost like they figured out his entire body type from glancing at this fridge magnet.
But I mean, overall, the look's pretty much en pointe, the flavour's right, and baby, the posability is no joke!
It's impossible to not make him look awesome!
God! Look at that. So cool. One second. Done. He's a wonderful desk toy just to mess with!
Like, the plastic's super smooth and tactile with infallible action, from the deep-dip double knees to the nefarious neck wobble.
Probably quite a good drawing aid?
In particular, the torso joints are an absolute joy,
bringin' a cacophonous ab crunch and a sickeningly satisfying self-centering swivel!
God, the action on that!
(Rik Mayall noises)
Does kinda feel like a couple of the joints are in weird spots though -
like, the thighs rotate mid-block and give him this sort of uncomfortably snapped look
and like, the shoulders can't just swing outward? They've gotta like, stack up and over?
There ya go. That's the look.
Cool.
Anyway, old Megared definitely delivers the digits with these pop 'n' swap feature fists!
Check it out, we got like, standard punchy dukes,
open-handed casual wavey fingers fella,
dramatic pointy confidence man order bark mode,
like an accessory-holding hand that doesn't have anything to hold
- ahh, it's just action figure vibes, ain't it?
Ooh, just the tip, mate.
Love the dedicated Energon cube cupping hand for those real world domination doomsday hours
and, of course, he's inevitably dragged along that bright purple morning star flail thing that he had in one scene
and is now cursed to always bring with him every time
but at least it's a good one of this?
Like, I love the moulded-in mid-swing chain swerve action for that battle scene freeze frame game!
Thing is, I can't help but feel like it needs more of that?
'Cos look at this - he's got like five different left hands and just the one right hand
and like, if we're going for expressiveness and still-life snapshot realness, can we maybe do some alternate faces?
'Cos if that's the kind of thing we're doing, then let's go all in on it, yeah?
Come on, man, commit!
Ugghh, y'know what though? I don't hate it.
'Cos I was so ready to just sneer the whole R.E.D. thing off but it has kind of won me over a bit!
I mean, out of anybody, Megatron is kinda the perfect guy to experiment with non-transformation
and like, don't we joke enough that Megatron's alt modes are so frequently not really anything?
So why NOT not bother?
I guess I just worry about longevity. Like, does this have a place in my collection?
I think the main mistake that Action Masters made was to be the only Transformers thing that year -
I feel like that's kinda why there's so much resentment around them -
but that is NOT the case in 2021!
The R.E.D.s are so far from your only option right now that you've gotta wonder why they ARE an option.
I sorta get the vibe that these are Transformers for people who don't do Transformers, which honestly? Can't relate.
'Cos I don't know if they're full-featured enough to really land with the higher-end Figuarts/Figma scene,
so like, are they for the Funko Pop people? We HAVE Transformers of that.
So what about, like, the whole ReAction figure thing? Is it supposed to fit in with that?
Y'know, like, display-focused novelty collectibles of characters from all kinds of pop culture spots?
But isn't the banter half the point of those things?
"Oh mate, I can't believe they've done a toy of the Pulp Fiction gimp."
So who's gonna be blown away by an action figure of a guy based on an action figure?
"You what? A TOY of MEGATRON!? Wow, random!"
But guess what? They have those too! What are we doing here!?
I guess I just don't understand the niche this is trying to fill.
'Cos, say the hypothetical layman is looking to dip a toe into Transformer world,
there's better options! Especially NOW!
It's not like we're short on posable, nice-quality, relatively affordable, definitive versions of big name characters!
It's practically all we got right now!
We've got variants and cartoon-weighted decoes if you're into that, plus they transform!
So I dunno.
You hate to say it, but I just can't see the R.E.D.s as being fully legitimate.
My brain can't help but lump them in with all the other throwaway, sideshow, doesn't-matter gimmick trash
like Stealth Force and Alt Modes and, real talk, McDonalds shit.
And you know me! I hate being this guy!
I don't like that I feel this way, but I f**kin' do.
I just don't know what it wants from me!
Uugghh, but look. For what it is, I can't just write Red Dead Redemptron off.
He's great harmless fun, he's only £20, he's a solid little action figure, and that's all he said he was gonna be.
If that's what you want, then that is what this is.
Thanks for watching.
Huh, bit of a weird one, wasn't it? Gotta do it though, right?
Cheers for watching! Thank you for everything you do for me. You're too kind!
And a big Patrony shoutout this time to Casey Mangold! Always believe in your man soul. Toodles!
Be sure to subscribe for more Thew's Awesome Transformers Reviews.
Limited appeal, keeping it real.