♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HELLO, FRIENDS.
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON.
>> Jon: WHOO!
HELLO!
HOW DID IT GO THIS WEEKEND?
>> Stephen: HE'S ASKING, WHAT YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW OUT THERE IS
I GOT THE SECOND SHOT THIS WEEKEND.
EVIE AND I BOTH GOT THE SECOND SHOT.
EVIE IS HERE TONIGHT.
THERE I AM.
SON'S OUT GUNS OUT RIGHT OVER THERE.
( LAUGHTER ) WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING THAT HARD
OVER THERE, WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT THE GUN SHOW OVER HERE?
NERVES GIGGLES.
HOUSE OF IT?
>> IT WAS GOOD.
I FEEL THAT WE GOT THE SUPERSYRINGE.
>> Stephen: DEFINITELY.
BY 7:00 THAT NIGHT, I WAS ACHY, HEADACHE, I JUST WANTED TO GO TO
BED, AND THEN WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY JUST WIPED.
>> BUT IT'S WORTH IT.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT SAYING IT'S NOT.
MAN DIDN'T ASK ME WHETHER IT'S WORTH IT.
WE KNOW IT'S WORTH IT.
ALL I COULD DO IS EAT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES ALL DAY.
A SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR MY HEALTH.
NOW BULLETS CAN STOP ME.
>> TEFLON.
>> Stephen: 100%.
>> Jon: THE COOKIES, THAT'S A NICE PERK.
>> Stephen: YEAH, BECAUSE YOU KIND OF HAVE A SAD FEELING,
WEAK, SAD, LIKE THE DEMENTORS AE ATTACKING YOU AND YOU HAVE
CHOCOLATE TO BRING YOU BACK.
>> DON'T TALK ABOUT THE THE CHOCOLATE.
>> Stephen: DON'T LIE.
IT'S 100% NECESSARY.
IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
WE'RE ONE SHOT CLOSER FOR US BEING TOGETHER WITH THE AUDIENCE
AGAIN.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MUSICAL MIND?
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS.
TODAY THE GREAT JEFFREY HERBERT HANCOCK BIRTHDAY.
♪♪♪ >> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
EVERYBODY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HERBIE HANCOCK.
>> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: FOLK, I AM LOOKING FORWARD SO MUCH TO TALKING TO
TONIGHT'S GUEST, FORMER SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE AND
HONEYBAKED AMERICAN, JOHN BOEHNER.
BOEHNER RESIGNED IN 2015, WHICH WAS CLEARLY DEVASTATING AS YOU
CAN TELL BY THIS ACTUAL CLIP OF HIS ENTRANCE TO ANNOUNCE HIS
RESIGNATION.
♪ ZIP-A-DEE-DOO DAH ZIP-A-DEE-AY
♪ MY, OH MY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY ♪
>> STEPHEN: OF COURSE HE'S HAPPY TO LEAVE CAPITOL HILL.
HE SAW THE WRITING ON THE WALL BEFORE THE FECES WAS SMEARED ON
THE FLOOR.
SPEAKER BOEHNER'S HERE TO PROMOTE "ON THE HOUSE: A
WASHINGTON MEMOIR."
LOOK AT THAT SMOKE AND HUGE GLASS OF WINE.
IT'S THE FIRST BOOK TO COME WITH ITS OWN SURGEON GENERAL'S
WARNING.
BOEHNER HAS NOT BEEN SHY ABOUT GOING AFTER RADICAL REPUBLICANS,
WHO HE THINKS ARE DESTROYING THE PARTY.
FOR INSTANCE, WHILE RECORDING THE AUDIOBOOK WITH A GLASS OF
WINE IN HIS HAND, HE SAID THIS: >> THAT'S FREEDOM.
I'LL RAISE A GLASS TO THAT ANY DAY.
P.S. TED CRUZ, GO (BLEEP) YOURSELF.
>> STEPHEN: IT'S THE MOST OFF-ROAD ATTACK IN AN AUDIO BOOK
SINCE JULIA CHILD RECORDED "MASTERING THE ART OF FRENCH
COOKING."
>> FOR THIS QUICHE LORRAINE, YOU NEED 6-8 PIECES THICK-SLICED
BACON, THREE LARGE EGGS, AND JACQUES PEPIN CAN GO SPATCHCOCK
HIMSELF.
>> STEPHEN: SPEAKER BOEHNER STOPPED BY "CBS SUNDAY MORNING,"
SUNDAY MORNING ON CBS, AND HE SAT DOWN WITH AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART JOHN DICKERSON, AND EXPLAINED THAT, IN THE BOOK
HE RESERVES HIS IRE FOR VERY FEW REPUBLICANS-- MOSTLY JUST TED
CRUZ.
>> I DON'T BEAT ANYONE UP.
IT'S NOT REALLY MY STYLE.
EXCEPT THAT JERK.
PERFECT SYMBOL OF GETTING ELECTED, MAKE A LOT OF NOISE,
DRAW A LOT OF ATTENTION TO YOURSELF, RAISE A LOT OF MONEY,
WHICH MEANS YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE MORE NOISE, RAISE MORE MONEY.
>> STEPHEN: TED CRUZ IS AN ENDLESS CIRCLE.
A REAL MOBIUS DOUCHE.
BOEHNER ALSO WENT AFTER OHIO CONGRESSMAN JIM JORDAN, SEEN
HERE SHORTLY AFTER THE LOBOTOMY.
>> YOU CALL SOME OF THESE MEMBERS POLITICAL TERRORISTS.
>> OH, YEAH, JIM JORDAN ESPECIALLY, MY COLLEAGUE FROM
OHIO.
I JUST NEVER SAW A GUY WHO SPENT MORE TIME TEARING THINGS APART
AND NEVER BUILDING ANYTHING.
NEVER PUTTING ANYTHING TOGETHER.
>> STEPHEN: YEAH, HE NEVER PUTS ANYTHING TOGETHER-- ESPECIALLY
TWO AND TWO WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT HAPPENS IN THE SHOWERS AT
OHIO STATE.
SINCE RETIRING FROM CONGRESS, BOEHNER HAS GONE ON TO GREENER
PASTURES.
WELL, GREENER HOUSES, ANYWAY, SINCE IN 2018, HE JOINED THE
BOARD OF CANNABIS COMPANY, ACREAGE HOLDINGS.
AS IN "HEY, ARE YOU HOLDING?
HOW MANY ACRES?" BOEHNER DISCUSSED HIS OWN
FEELINGS ABOUT MARIJUANA WITH JOHN DICKERSON.
>> DO YOU DO ANY FIRST HAND RESEARCH?
>> NO.
I'M NOT A CANNABIS USER.
>> YOU'RE NOT RULING IT OUT FOR YOURSELF?
>> TOMORROW IS TOMORROW.
WHO KNOWS?
>> STEPHEN: AND, WELL, TODAY IS TOMORROW.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS: JOHN BOEHNER IS GOING TO DO THE
INTERVIEW HIGH.
IT'S HARD FOR HIM TO GET BAKED THOUGH, SINCE CLEARLY, HE'S
ALREADY HICKORY-SMOKED.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE FORMER SPEAKER.
♪♪♪