This video is sponsored by Squarespace.
Across the internet, on blogs, and in videos, there are a ton of resources expressing habits
that will change your life. Habits that will magically
improve your well-being and I'm guilty of sharing a few of my own. Quite a few
times actually but what I haven't noticed is an intense focus on the habits we need to break.
Those habits that are secretly destroying your momentum in life. That are the very reason why
you can't build those quotes unquote "habits that will change your life."
I hope you're ready for today's conversation because
I've already buckled my seatbelt and I advise you to strap up for safety as well.
This might be a bumpy ride. Here are the only habits worth breaking.
Habit number one is negative self-talk.
I told you to strap up for safety. I'm not holding anything back.
Now maybe you're telling yourself or trying to convince yourself in this moment
that you don't struggle with negative self-talk.
"Well I don't say anything bad about myself, to myself. Nahhh I don't do that. That's not me.
Okay well since we're riding the honesty train today it's only fair that I'm fully
transparent with you. This sentence is a phrase straight out of my own playbook
meaning I've told myself something similar to this before
trying to convince myself that I don't struggle with negative self-talk, that that's
not something I do, but the reality is I have and you have too I'm sure.
See not all negative self-talk is out loud. Many of those conversations happen
internally, whispers even that we tend to ignore or shake off because,
well it's a bad habit that we've grown comfortable with.
So how do we break this habit.
One, take a deep breath and acknowledge it. This isn't the
easiest thing to do but it's a very important first step.
Two, consider what's causing you to partake in this particular habit of negative self-talk.
Are you afraid? Are you experiencing self-doubt?
Failure? Insecurities? What is that thing for you that's at the root of these thoughts? Now
once you determine what that is now it's time to devise a plan to silence those thoughts
and if this is a much deeper issue for you then please don't shy away from professional help.
Three, stop expecting perfection. Change this and your whole perspective will start to shift.
And four, surround yourself with positivity. By making this small change you'll start to
experience some grand benefits in your life. There's an expression that says
you're an average of the five people you spend the most time with.
All this means, in a nutshell, is to audit the people and things around you.
If your circle is negative then it's likely you'll carry negativity also.
Habit number two is saying "yes" when you know when you know your answer should be "no."
Now, why is this important? Well it depends on how deep you want this conversation to go and
knowing that I only have a few minutes with you to make an impact with this conversation
before you start to lose interest in this video, I'll keep it fairly short.
"Every time you say "yes" to something you're saying "no" to something else.
Here's a basic example, let's say you've developed a habit of impulse buying and every time you leave
the house you come home with bags and boxes filled with stuff you don't need. Regardless if it was
on sale, or you were bored and decided to pop out for a little bit, or you felt like you had
some extra money to spend. Either way you said "yes" to something you don't necessarily need.
Now in this example let's look at what you said "no" to:
You said no to saving that money.
You said no to saving time or spending your available time in other areas of your life
because little do you realize every item you bring into your life then requires your time to
manage it. Think about the clothes you bought but don't wear now every time you go to get dressed
you're wasting time fumbling through an excessive amount of clothes trying to find your favorite
shirt but you forgot it was dirty because you didn't have time to do the laundry two weeks ago.
Okay, what else?
You also said no to spending more money
on what matters because you spent your extra money on something you didn't need right.
Okay let's go deeper, maybe you said "yes" to a relationship that's not the best for you
or a friendship that carries a very toxic weight.
Now imagine everything you said "no" to.
Okay so how do we break this habit?
Step one is awareness. Taking note of the simple fact that you do this.
Step two is questioning it and understanding why you keep doing it. Are you people-pleasing?
Are you worried that you might be missing out on something? Are you afraid to say no? Why?
Step three is setting boundaries for yourself as well as how much influence
you allow others to have over you. See when you have boundaries you start to
regain control of your life and through that control, you start to build confidence
which leads to more sound decisions, better relationships, more energy. and more peace.
Alright before we continue this conversation I love for you to
comment below and let me know if you're enjoying this at all.
Have I shared something so far that caught you by surprise or really resonated with you? Also,
I'd love to take a quick minute here to encourage you to check out my blog over on my website.
I just shared an in-depth post that dives deeper into additional habits we need to break.
I'll leave a link to that post down below in the description and while you're down there
go ahead and check out Squarespace as well.
Now if you're not familiar Squarespace is an all-in-one platform to help you build
a beautiful online presence, which happens to be the platform I personally use my website and blog.
Now if you're not much of a writer or blogger yourself
you can also build an online store or portfolio to share your work,
projects, and creativity. Plus their best in class templates make it super easy to get started.
So if you're looking to build a website of your own definitely check out squarespace.com for a
free trial and then when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ronaldlbanks to save 10%
off your first purchase of a website or domain. That link is also in the description below.
Okay, habit number three is not making time for yourself.
That's a big one. As a matter of fact, let's make a promise about this to ourselves together.
On the count of three, you ready?
One, two, three "I promise to make time for myself."
That felt good to say did it not? I mean I've struggled with this habit personally and just
hearing those words flow from my lips is encouraging it's freeing because it has
given me permission to make time for myself and I want you to give yourself that same permission.
See in the midst of life in all its busyness, stress, and change. Self-care is often overlooked,
I mean it seems as though everything is about hustle and being a boss. Which has its place
don't get me wrong but I challenge you not to lose sight of balance and self-care.
If you've heard nothing else I mentioned in this video
hear this: "taking time for yourself is not being selfish or unproductive."
We all have responsibilities. Some more than others depending on your situation or what chapter
in life you're currently on but regardless of that self-care is not something to feel guilty about.
Now what that looks like is up to you. Self-care holds many shapes and forms. There's physical,
emotional, social, and spiritual, there's personal, your space right in terms of
cleanliness and safety and stability. There's financial self-care and then there's also work.
See the goal here is to shift your perspective and accept the fact that taking time for yourself
is key if you truly want to live a productive, happy and successful life.
As always stay true to you. Keep growing on your journey and I'll see you in the next one.
Peace!