- The study of the heart.
Cardiology.
Study of the lungs.
Pulmonology.
The study of memes.
Memeology.
Let's get started,
huge thank you to ShipStation for sponsoring this video.
A decision was made here. (laughs)
Wow.
I would've kept the weights.
- You sure about that?
You sure about that?
- Or went double stuffed at least.
(bell dings)
Do you know I have atsgama?
Atsmah?
Ahma? Attsma?
Breathn't?
Speechn't?
What is happening?
Me stealing my bro's Vape so he doesn't get addicted.
No, bro, that's his asthma pump.
And my guy's on the floor.
That's Albuterol.
That's a SABA,
for those who don't know.
Primary care physician,
you mean my 24-year-old friend in med school
who I'll text my symptoms to against their will?
Oh my God, that was me.
The amount of people's rashes in all sorts of places.
Their partner's rashes,
their children's rashes are all on my phone.
- This is inappropriate.
- There is no HIPAA here, they're not my patients.
They need to stop sending me,
look, stop sending me rashes.
What are your plans for this year?
Me and a friend are gonna buy some glasses.
And after that?
And after that, we'll see. (laughs)
(toy squeaks)
Honestly, my vision's getting so bad,
I'm considering surgery, so I relate to this meme.
He'll make biscuits on your chest until you feel all better.
(Mike laughs)
That's cute. (computer humming)
But that would be a problem
if the defibrillator is actually missing
'cause you need it in case someone's heart stops
and it has a shockable rhythm,
'cause that's the only time you use a defibrillator.
Although the cat doing this,
(cat meowing)
as a form of chest compressions.
Can we show a cat doing chest compressions?
Just to make me feel better.
I'm feeling quite,
God I hate these.
Lassie?
(air whooshing)
Sassy?
What is that image of?
Broken ball?
It's a Lassie, is a dog.
Is that a lemon? Is that a broken lemon?
(insects chirping)
Unwell?
'Cause the dog saves someone that falls in a well.
- Well, no, no, not even close.
- God, I wish I knew what this ball was.
Is that a turnip?
Is that a food?
Is that a papaya? - Nope.
- Is it a fruit? - Yes.
- Onion. (monster gurgling)
- [Camera Person] It's not a mango,
but it's another fruit that starts with M.
(kettle whistling)
- Mel? - Melon? That's a melon?
That's a deceased melon.
I'm feeling quite melancholy?
- [Camera Person] There you go.
- Gynecologist uses speculum on stubborn pistachio shell.
This is something I so would do after I wash it.
(ball thuds)
Drank this and my knees no longer crack
and my joints move so smooth.
Yeah, do not drink that.
Obviously it's a joke.
Never drink that. Never consume that.
I'm gonna say that over and over again on this channel.
When someone asks what the capital of Russia is.
(bright music) (clock ticking)
Moss cow?
Moscow!
I was like, oh, it's 'cause it's a cow.
No, it's 'cause it's a moss cow.
Medical influencer,
this pissed me off when I saw it the other day.
Selfie ring light, okay, fine.
I used to have one of those.
Now we have aperture lights.
Tripod stand, don't even use.
Do we use tripods still?
No. We have sea sands.
We're a high end.
FIGS deal? (blows raspberry)
Clearly didn't see my video.
Haters in my DMs.
(melancholic music playing) That's true.
$20,000 in savings from ads.
No, I hope it's more than that.
HIPAA violations, never. That's priority.
Emails from hospital admin threatening to fire you
if you don't take your BS down.
That's actually never happened. Knock on wood.
My bathroom floor is always wet
because Neutrogena taught me to wash my face.
I still don't know how to remove cleanser from my face.
I sometimes rub, I sometimes splash.
It never fully gets off.
I don't quite understand how you're supposed to get soap off
unless you're in the shower.
Thinking about purchasing a VIRCO 3700brm desk
so I could finally get some decent sleep.
Honestly, I'm gonna put a statement out into the world
that I cannot prove factually.
But I believe deep in my heart,
these desks are responsible for 10% of scoliosis cases
in the United States of America.
'Cause we all were like this the whole time.
(whip cracking)
Class action lawsuit against them.
Let's go, who's with me?
- Dude.
- Big burger, mini burger.
Big soda, little soda.
Minnesota.
(laughs)
- [Camera Person] Little soda.
- Don't they have an accent?
Minnesota. - Minnesota.
Oh yeah. - Minnesota.
FDA issues warning about black licorice for Halloween.
It tastes like (laughs) - FDA.
Twizzlers suck. Fight me.
A few weeks ago, I peed red
and was bugging out and went into oncology
and they were trying to figure it out.
And finally my oncologist was like,
"You eat beets recently?"
Then I had to explain to an oncologist
how I ate an entire jar of pickled beets in the bathtub
because I was sad.
Yo beets mess you up.
You know what also messes you up?
And I don't say mess you up in a bad way.
I mean mess up the color of your poo and urine.
So beets and also,
(bell dings) pepto-bismol.
A lot of people will take pepto-bismol for an upset stomach
and then rush to the doctor
because they're saying they see black in their stool
and they're worried that it's blood.
But if you recently just took Pepto-bismol,
it could be because of that.
Upper GI bleeding, black in the stool.
Lower GI bleeding, bright red stool.
Interesting.
Let's just take a second and talk about ShipStation.
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You see, the holidays have started and I am swamped.
This year, I moved out of the city and into a house.
So I've got way more decorating to do.
I'm also hosting a few holiday parties
for friends, family, and the team.
Not to mention I'm still logging hours at the hospital
and preparing for my return to the ring,
updates coming soon.
Bottom line, I need help.
And that's where ShipStation comes in.
The last thing I wanna do
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Alright, let's get back to those memes.
I'm in the ER.
I don't want to bore you with details,
but the Dyson ball cleaner
is dangerously misleading product name.
Oh my God.
Is it called a Dyson ball cleaner?
No.
Dog memes, med memes. (laughs)
Both. Can we get dogtor memes?
ECG made easy.
The humpy bit.
The jiggly bit.
The lumpy bit.
Okay, the patient looks bad is the most important thing.
Just the other day, one of my nurse friends
sent me a picture of an EKG and goes,
do you think this patient's safe enough to discharge?
I can't decide whether a patient is safe to discharge
based off an EKG.
I need to know what the patient is doing.
I need to know what they're feeling like.
I need to know what medical conditions they have.
And yes.
If the humpy bit and the lumpy bit looks like a jiggly bit,
that's a problem.
Grandma, you have any peppers?
Yeah, baby check the cabinets.
Pepper. (laughs)
Sell by August 29 '99.
You know what's funny?
I probably have that same little thing of pepper.
That's McCormick. That looks McCormick, right?
It looks like McCormick of the '90s.
Hey, it says sell by, it doesn't say best by.
So they sold it.
They're allowed to still have it.
Does pepper go bad?
(melancholy music playing) Things break down.
That's part of life.
When you're eating ice and accidentally bite your tongue
so you put the ice on your tongue to stop the pain.
(laughs) Doctor.
Well that does stop the pain,
but it actually may not help with the healing.
We're learning more and more
that putting ice on injuries may not be the best choice.
In many times, putting ice on an area,
especially for an extended period of time,
can delay healing,
or even damage the superficial layer of skin.
You won't crash after drinking coffee
if you never stop drinking coffee.
Well you will.
Because what your body does,
is if you start trying to overmedicate your body
with a substance like caffeine,
your body will grow tolerant of the caffeine
by downregulating receptors that react to the caffeine.
And then as a result,
no matter how much caffeine you drink,
the less effect you're gonna have
so that it's kind of a dangerous game you're playing.
Where you increase the amount of caffeine you're taking,
therefore you slowly start increasing its effect.
But then that starts downregulating,
but then the toxicity actually keeps going up.
So you don't wanna do that.
Fitbits are like Tamagotchis,
except the stupid little creature
you have to keep alive is yourself.
That's so true.
Okay, I'm gonna do a hot take.
I think fitbits, trackers, whoops, are incredibly useless.
I said it.
If you love it and it's motivating you
and you think it's gonna work, by all means do it.
I just don't see the value
in constantly tracking your steps.
Because when I look at the evidence,
people stop looking at these things.
How many people are still taking care of their Tamagotchis?
They gave up a long time ago.
- It's been 84 years.
- Help. I need CPR. Crab Rangoon, put, right in my mouth.
Ew. Who likes crab rangoon?
Cookies and cream, put, right in my mouth.
That's the correct one.
Gerbers ghost peppers.
Baby's first heart attack.
That'd be so messed up
if someone gave ghost peppers to a kid.
And I know there's some sicko out there that's done it.
I know it's happened and that's really messed up.
In fact, lately I've been seeing a lot of adults
refusing to introduce solid foods to their kids.
You know the American Pediatrics Association is very clear.
Starting to do introduction of one food at a time,
four to six months of age is ideal.
Why one at a time?
So that if you do two
and your child has an allergic reaction,
you don't know which one caused it.
But if you do one, you'll know.
And we say, in most cases to start with allergenic foods
like peanut, eggs,
because early introduction of those foods
leads to decreased rates of allergies.
Leaving house, good for depression, bad for anxiety.
Staying at house, good for anxiety, bad for depression.
Standing directly in a doorway
to achieve peak mental health. (laughs)
Honestly depends what your anxiety is caused by.
Because you can have social anxiety
or you can have anxiety
worrying about what's happening in the outside world
'cause you're not there and you're getting FoMO anxiety.
See, practicing doctor knows nuance.
When your patient has hyponatremia.
Yeah, you gotta be careful.
You wanna throw some salt,
but you don't wanna throw too much salt.
'Cause you could throw too much salt,
you could throw the whole thing out of whack.
If you over quickly correct hyponatremia or hypernatremia,
you can get into trouble 'cause of fluid balance.
Me studying for the degree I chose myself.
(Doctor Mike laughing)
Honestly, that was just,
it needed to end on me studying. Period.
You don't even need all the other stuff.
I feel like the skeleton wants to so bad,
but his pickup lines are just awful.
What food makes you grow? (laughs)
How long are your guts? (laughs)
What I find fascinating about this image
is that this skeleton is able to balance
with no musculature at all.
How are the bones moving?
Hey, does anyone, shh, no talking.
Does anyone know CPR? (laughs)
Oh my God.
That's not what you're supposed to do.
You're supposed to call 911,
or nominate someone to call 911.
And you should know CPR if you watch this channel.
Okay, we have two doctors
and a patient that looks like a ghost,
a candy cane going inside the surgical field,
patient waking up, doctor winking.
Malpractice?
If you're gonna put something in my stomach,
at least make it delicious.
Who puts a candy cane? Disgusting.
What maniac went around and said,
let's give children a fish hook that tastes like toothpaste.
I actually don't even always wash my face with a cleanser,
and you would've known that,
had you watched my video of my bathroom routine.
Some really fun facts in here.
Click here to check it out.
And don't forget to visit shipstation.com/doctormike
to begin your sixty-day free trial.
As always, stay happy and healthy.
(outro music playing)