>> Stephen: GOOD EVENING.
BEFORE WE BEGIN THE SHOW, I NEED TO ADDRESS A CONTROVERSY.
LAST NIGHT'S REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION KEYNOTE SPEAKER
MELANIA TRUMP HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF PLAGIARIZING PORTIONS OF HER
SPEECH FROM MICHELLE OBAMA'S APPEARANCE AT THE 2008
DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION.
I DON'T THINK THIS IS MRS. TRUMP'S FAULT.
I THINK HER SPEECHWRITERS ARE TO BLAME, AND YET NO ONE HAS LOST
THEIR JOBS.
IF ONLY THERE WAS SOMEONE IN THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN WHO ENJOYED
FIRING PEOPLE.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
WELL, I DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS A LOT, BUT DONALD AND MELANIA ARE
FRIENDS.
WHICH IS WHY TONIGHT, "THE LATE SHOW" HAS SECURED THE FIRST
EXCLUSIVE APPEARANCE BY MRS. TRUMP TO ADDRESS THE
CONTROVERSY.
PLEASE WELCOME MELANIA TRUMP.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WELCOME, MRS. TRUMP.
I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE A STATEMENT.
>> YES, THAT IS TRUE.
>> Stephen: AND THIS WAS WRITTEN BY THE SAME STAFFERS WHO
WROTE LAST NIGHT'S SPEECH?
>> YES, I WROTE IT.
>> Stephen: THE FLOOR IS YOURS.
>> MY FELLOW AMERICANS, THIS IS --
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) -- THIS IS TRULY THE BEST OF
TIMES, IT IS THE WORST OF TIMES.
I DID NOT PLAGIARIZE MY SPEECH LAST NIGHT.
I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING.
I WOULD NOT, COULD NOT WITH A GOAT.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
I COULD NOT, WOULD NOT ON A BOAT.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
THAT IS BECAUSE I LEARNED HONESTY DURING MY HUMBLE
UPBRINGING: IN WEST PHILADELPHIA, I WAS BORN AND
RAISED -- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
THANK YOU!
ON THE PLAYGROUND IS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS.
SO TO THOSE WHO SAY I STOLE MY SPEECH, I SAY GIVE ME A BREAK.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT KIT KAT BAR.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THEY MAY BE ABLE TO TAKE OUR
LIVES, BUT THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I'M AS MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT
GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE.
YOU GOTTA FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PARTY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE.
HAKUNA MATATA.
BA DA BA DA DA -- I'M LOVING IT.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
OH, AND ONE MORE THING -- LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY --
>> Stephen: NO!
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!