Ethan: Guys, welcome back to another video.
Ethan: You've seen the Black Project.
*Ethan screams*
Ethan: Today I'mma get fucked up by gold.
Ethan: Hila has a strange, bizarre fetish, she's obsessed with gold products
Ethan: She's been begging me for the whole year to make this video
Ethan: And finally I've succumbed to her desires.
Hila: Completely untrue.
Hila: Well, I bought gold products that I want us to try.
Hila: Especially...
Ethan: Yeah, especially me. I'm the guinea pig.
Hila: And I'm gonna be the...
Ethan: Ethan's carer? Hila: I'm gonna wear the tag.
Ethan: Are you gonna take care of me?
Ethan: Because I don't know what kind of carer does bizarre gold experiments on their subject.
*funky music plays*
Hila: I have gold spray.
Ethan: You're gonna put that on me?
Hila: We need to like, get you in the mood.
Ethan: You're gonna spray me with gold? That doesn't seem right. Hila: I don't know, I thought -
Hila: I feel like you're not feeling the gold vibe.
Hila: I feel like you're not feeling the gold vibe. Ethan: Dude, you're fired!
Ethan: Get outta here, you're a terrible caregiver.
Ethan: Oh my God.
Ethan: Eugh!
Ethan: Hila, why'd you make me do this? This is so stupid.
Hila: Uh, put it on your face, Ethan.
Ethan: On my face, Hila?
Hila: Yeah.
Hila: Aaah!
Ethan: *wheeze*
Ethan: *roars*
Ethan: You want this, Hila? Is this what you want?
Ethan: *screaming*
Hila: Not in the mouth!
Ethan: *groans*
Ethan: *high voice* My spit is gold!
Ethan: Is this what you wanted, Hila?
Hila: I guess you could say that.
Ethan: What the fuck, Hila, what did you do to me!?
Ethan: I don't look gold, this isn't fabulous, this isn't splendid...
Ethan: I look like a fucking troll.
Ethan: Gaaaahhh!
Ethan: *gags*
Ethan: *Ethan Klein cough™*
Ethan: Is this good enough for you, Hila?
Ethan: *clears throat* Sorry, I just swallowed a bunch of toxic spray.
Ethan: Is this good enough for you, Hila?
Hila: Not really.
Ethan: Wow, you didn't even hesitate.
Ethan: But you think maybe you're asking a little bit too much of me?
Ethan: Do you ever stop to think that?
Hila: Uhhhh...
Hila: No...
Hila: What I'm thinking is just like
Hila: Just to add a little touch-up.
Ethan: Oh, God.
Ethan: You really have a problem, dude.
*funky music plays*
Ethan: Can I have a kiss?
Ethan: Hila, give me a kiss.
Hila: Gross.
Ethan: What do you mean gross? You did this to me!
Ethan: Now I can't even get a little fucking action because of it? I thought that was why I was doing it in the first place.
*funky music plays*
Ethan: Don't avoid my nipple, Hila.
Ethan: Get a shot of that golden-ass nipple though, you guys.
Ethan: Damn, that shit shine, boi!
*funky music plays*
Ethan: So, Hila.
Ethan: Can I have a kiss? Yes or no?
Hila: No.
*sad music plays* *echoing: No... no... no...*
*VERY LOUD NOISE*
Ethan: You did this, dude!
Ethan: Put out!
*funky music plays*
Ethan: So, what else do you have for me, Hila?
Hila: Gold grills.
Ethan: Ohhhh, nice.
Ethan: I kinda always fantasied about having a gold grill.
Hila: Yeah, me too.
Ethan: So that's pretty exciting.
Ethan: Welcome back to gold grilling...
Ethan: With yellow-faced, troll-ass fucking Martha Stewart.
Ethan: Today, we're gonna be boiling some golden grills.
Ethan: My favourite recipe.
Ethan: Drop your favourite grills into boiling water...
Ethan: Crank it.
Ethan: Play some metal music, dude.
*metal music ensues*
Ethan: So apparently you're supposed to take it out
Ethan: Put it in your mouth while it's still hot...
Ethan: Haaa!
Ethan: Haaaaa!
Hila: Some extra schmutz.
Ethan: *unintelligible speech*
Ethan: Look good?
Hila: Lemme see.
Hila: Oh my God, there's like...
Hila: The stuff coming out of the bottom, I thought it was your teeth.
Ethan: It's scary to other people.
Hila: I think I'm gonna regret doing this.
Hila: I think I'm gonna regret doing this. Ethan: It's scary to other people, not to you.
Ethan: That's a hella good look!
Hila: "I'm grillin' and I'm fuckin' at the same time"
Ethan: "We grillin' and we fuckin' at the same time"
Ethan: "We grillin' and we fuckin' at the same time" Hila: Oh no, it already fell out!
Hila: What up?
Ethan: Damn!
Ethan: That's some gangster shit!
Hila: I know.
Ethan: I should change your name to "Lil' sis".
Ethan: What's a good name for you?
Hila: Young Carer.
Ethan: That is some thug-ass shit, dude.
Ethan: Yo! Young Carer on the track, dude.
Ethan: Spit that shit, Young Carer, what up, dawg?
Hila: Represent.
Ethan: Yeah!
Ethan: Thug life, G.
Hila: I can't talk. It comes off!
*funky music*
Hila: I got you some beauty products.
Ethan: What is it?
Hila: It's for your hands.
Ethan: Oh sweet!
Ethan: Yeah- Yeah I'm all about that.
Ethan: Hook me up.
Hila: You see the liquid?
Ethan: Mhm.
Ethan: Really encouraging.
Ethan: Really makes me wanna put those on, huh?
Ethan: Gross, what the fuck? EWWWWW!
Ethan: It's so gel-y!
Ethan: What do I do with it?
Hila: I'm not sure.
Ethan: Do I just put it on my hand? Is it a glove?
Hila: I thought that it's a glove but...
Ethan: Is there not instructions?
Ethan: I mean, you're the fucking carer.
Ethan: It's your- it's your show.
Ethan: OK, this is a flop.
Hila: Forget about it.
Ethan: Guys, listen to this. Hila.
*odd liquid noise*
Ethan: You hear that shit? Just to give you some idea of the texture we're dealing with.
*odd liquid noise, but closer*
Ethan: Nexflix, I know you guys are doing superhero shows.
Ethan: Please look me up.
Ethan: Yellow goo trollman.
Ethan: Hila, are you ready to kiss me yet?
Hila: I'm getting there.
Ethan: OK, I'm gonna hold you to that... when we get closer.
Hila: Are you feeling younger?
Ethan: No.
Hila: OK.
Ethan: No, not at all.
*funky music plays*
Ethan: What is that?
Hila: It's for your mouth.
Ethan: You want me to put that over my mouth? No!
Ethan: Ohhh, no!
Ethan: *resisting*
Ethan: Why do you torture me? You're supposed to be my carer, you're supposed to look after me.
Ethan: This is like a Nazi like, science experiment.
Hila: These are beauty products, Ethan.
Ethan: This is like when the Nazis like, injected bleach into prisoners.
Hila: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ethan: I'm calling you a Nazi.
*funky music plays*
Ethan: I do not like that.
Ethan: I do not want that on me.
Ethan: But that's nice.
Ethan: I mean it really fits, and I like it because I can see through it
Ethan: So I can wear this around while I'm doing my daily chores.
Ethan: And I can still see, so I can beautify while I go...
Ethan: For example: to the bank.
Ethan: I look really good.
Ethan: And this beauty project was a huge hit.
*funky music plays*
Ethan: You see this?
Ethan: What is this liquid inside?
Ethan: What the fuck actually is this liquid inside?
Ethan: EWWWW!
Ethan: Yeah, go ahead and put that on my face, straight from China.
Ethan: They're known for having really strict product guidelines.
Ethan: They definitely don't allow Chinese fucking kids to pee in your mask box.
Ethan: I can't breathe!
Ethan: I can't breathe!!
Hila: OK, working on it.
Ethan: Argh, let me out!
Ethan: Oh my God!
Ethan: So this- ahhhh...
Ethan: Look, I don't care what I need to do. I just want you to like me.
Ethan: I want you to think I'm beautiful. I'll do whatever it takes.
Hila: I think you're beautiful now.
Ethan: Is this it? Did I finally get beautiful for you, Hila?
*funky music plays*
Ethan: Hila.
Hila: Yes?
Ethan: I lost my will to live.
Hila: That's a shame.
Hila: OK, let's die together.
Hila: I'm gonna put this one on too.
Ethan: This shit is not healthy for human consumption.
Ethan: They put this nasty gooey gel...
Ethan: Uuuggh
Hila: *screams*
Ethan: Dude.
Ethan: There it is.
Ethan: Nice.
Hila: Oh, it's cold!
Ethan: Yeah it's cold baby. Embrace it. Embrace the cold.
Hila: Not inside the mouth!
Ethan: Now you have to bite down. Bite down! Hila: Nooo!
Ethan: There you go, it's like a little chin strap.
Hila: It's so cold!
Ethan: Embrace the cold.
Ethan: How do you feel?
Hila: So you just sit with this for 10 minutes, and then your life is gonna improve.
Hila: So much.
Ethan: I'm gonna come out looking like Brad Pitt.
Hila: Yeah, probably!
Ethan: It's gonna be amazing.
Hila: We can be- We can be 'Brangelina'.
Ethan: Oh, they just got split up, Hila, that's dark.
Ethan: Why would you say that?
Ethan: Very bad timing, dude.
*odd liquid sound again x2*
*funky music plays*
Ethan: Before I go clean off...
Ethan: And wash all this shame and Filthy Frank off me...
Ethan: I wanna thank our sponsor: Lootcrate
Ethan: ...for helping to support our addiction to Chinese beauty products
Ethan: And for shortening my life-span by 5 years.
Ethan: Let's have a look what's in this Lootcrate's month.
Ethan: Wait, Lootcrate's month of this-
Ethan: Did I have a stroke?
Ethan: Let's see what's in this month's Lootcrate.
Ethan: The theme of this month's Lootcrate is speed.
Ethan: Tonk Starks!
Ethan: I could wear this, but I think my beautiful yellow body is way more interesting.
Hila: Way better.
Ethan: So I'll just put this aside for now.
Ethan: First of all, Lootcrate, you know this is the gold episode.
Ethan: Why are you sending us silver figurines?
Hila: What's with the silver?
Ethan: Guys, come on, get on the ball.
Ethan: That being said, The Flash, pretty dope.
Ethan: Next item is this, uh, Battlestar Galactica.
Ethan: These are the villains from that show
Ethan: I love that show, everybody loves that show.
Ethan: They were responsible for creating these Chinese beauty products.
Ethan: ...and shipping them around the galaxy.
Ethan: No laughter?
Ethan: Gone in 60 seconds: dope.
Ethan: Fuckin' hood comes up, what's going on in there?
Ethan: There's no engine.
Ethan: But somehow it drives. Do the doors open?
Hila: Nah
Ethan: Get me some pliers dude, I want these doors to open.
Ethan: Batman keychain. I love Batman.
Ethan: Batman has always been my favourite superhero
Ethan: Because he's just a dude!
Ethan: That's what's so badass, he's just a fucking guy that fights Superman, somehow.
Ethan: He's such a badass, he's just a man.
Hila: You probably wished that he was chubby too.
Ethan: You can still be cool and chubby, Hila.
Ethan: What are you trying to say?
Hila: I didn't say anything!
Ethan: Can I just make it through one episode without Hila trying to humiliate me?
Ethan: You got a pen, you got your schmutz.
Ethan: This was a really cool box. This was speed.
Ethan: Now, if you guys want next month's Lootcrate
Ethan: The theme is horror because of 'spooktober' coming up next month.
Ethan: And you can get 10% off by visiting the link in the description:
Ethan: And type 'h3h3' at checkout for a coupon code.
Ethan: 10% off!
Hila: Nice.
Ethan: Horror, it's gonna be a fucking good one, guys.
Ethan: Now excuse me... *splat*
Ethan: Now that I'm all golded up, I'm ready to wash down.
Ethan: And what better way to wash down than with a gold bar of soap?
Ethan: Ohh gross!
Hila: Oh, God.
Ethan: Hila, it's not making my skin yellow.
Ethan: Is this supposed to dye my skin yellow?
Hila: It's made out of gold.
Ethan: Is it coming off?
Hila: Yeah.
Ethan: Am I pretty yet?
Hila: Very pretty!
Ethan: Hila, do you wanna kiss me yet or not?
Hila: Maybe later, yeah, just keep washing your face.
Ethan: *odd goat noise*
Ethan: Guys, thank you for watching the gold project.
Ethan: Stay tuned next week where we'll be doing the salad project.
Ethan: Where we'll all just turn into a head of lettuce and do social experiments in black neighbourhoods.
Ethan: It's gonna be a lot of fun guys. Thanks for watching.
*outro theme plays*