>>>
>>> THE
>>> THE PANDEMIC HAS TAKEN ITS TOLL ON A LOT OF PEOPLE,
INCLUDING TEENS AND THEIR
PARENTS WHO ARE LOOKING FORWARD
TO CERTAIN KINDS OF
TRANSITIONS.
TRANSITIONS. PROMS, GRADUATIONS, ALL THE
REST.
REST.
REST. TEEN WISE COACH SHARED SOME
ADVICE FOR HELPING CHILDREN
THROUGH THESE TRANSITIONAL
TIMES.
TIMES.
TIMES. >>
TIMES. >> IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.
THEY SEE THERE'S AN END AND
THEN THERE'S A BEGINNING AND
WHEN THEY ARE LOSING OUT ON
THAT TRANSITIONAL CEREMONY,
IT'S THIS CONFUSION, THIS
NEUTRAL ZONE WHERE THEY DON'T
KNOW WHO THEY ARE OR WHAT IS
GOING ON, WHAT TO EXPECT.
SO IT'S A REAL ISSUE THAT THEY
DON'T HAVE KIND OF THIS
TRANSITIONAL CEREMONY, SO TO
SPEAK.
SPEAK.
SPEAK. >>
SPEAK. >> WE OFTEN, AS PARENTS, FEEL
LIKE WE NEED TO MAKE THAT
BETTER OR FIGURE OUT HOW TO NOT
LET THEM DWELL ON IT.
IT IS APPROPRIATE, IT SEEMS, TO
MOURN THE LOSS OF THAT FOR A
LITTLE BIT.
LITTLE BIT. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY. WE NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT
THINGS AREN'T AS THEY WERE.
THEY DIDN'T HAVE THEIR
GRADUATION CEREMONY, FOR
INSTANCE, NOT VISITING
COLLEGES.
COLLEGES.
COLLEGES. EVEN FOR THE KINDERGARTENERS,
THERE IS USUALLY SOME SORT OF
GRADUATION.
GRADUATION. SAME FOR KIDS GOING INTO HIGH
SCHOOL AND INTO MIDDLE SCHOOL.
SO, IT IS OKAY FOR US TO
ACKNOWLEDGE THAT AND ALLOW THEM
TO BE SAD ABOUT MISSING OUT ON
THOSE THINGS.
THOSE THINGS. BUT WE AS PARENTS REALLY NEED
TO BE CAREFUL TO BRING THAT
POSITIVITY AND TO LOOK FORWARD
TO THE FUTURE AND REALLY HAVE
CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THAT.
>> I HAVE SEEN SOME PARENTS DO
SOME PRETTY INCREDIBLE THINGS,
SURPRISE THING, OR CAR PARADES.
SOMETHING THAT ISN'T MAYBE THE
NORMAL, BUT IT IS SOMETHING
SPECIAL.
SPECIAL.
SPECIAL. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
>> I THINK THAT'S GREAT.
I DON'T THINK IT'S NECESSARY,
BUT I THINK IT IS FUN IF A
PARENT CAN DO THAT.
THE REASON I SAY IT'S NOT
NECESSARY IS BECAUSE SOME
PARENTS JUST CAN'T DO THAT.
THEY DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY
RIGHT NOW WITH EVERYTHING GOING
ON.
ON.
ON. SO
ON. SO I
ON. SO I DON'T WANT PARENTS WHO
CAN'T DO THAT TO FEEL LIKE I
NEED TO DO THAT.
IF YOU CAN, COOL, BUT IT ISN'T
NECESSARY.
NECESSARY. THERE'S OTHER WAYS TO SIGNAL A
TRANSITION.
TRANSITION. DON'T TAKE THE BIG BALLOONS OR
OVER THE TOP EXTRAVAGANT.
>> SOME KIND OF MARKING OF IT,
CORRECT?
CORRECT?
CORRECT? >> RIGHT, YEAH.
AT HOME, YOU COULD HAVE A
SPECIAL DINNER.
SPECIAL DINNER. YOU COULD HAVE EVERYBODY IN THE
FAMILY, YOU KNOW, WRITE CARDS.
YOU KNOW, MAKE A BANNER AT
HOME.
HOME.
HOME. IT
HOME. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE
EXTRAVAGANT.
EXTRAVAGANT. BUT A CONVERSATION AROUND IT,
SOMETHING THAT SAYS, YOU ARE
GOING FROM THIS TIME OF YOUR
LIFE TO THIS NEXT TIME OF YOUR
LIFE.
LIFE.
LIFE. AND
LIFE. AND THE CONVERSATIONS AROUND IT
ARE HOW WE, AS PARENTS, CAN
SUPPORT OUR KIDS THROUGH THAT
TRANSITION.
TRANSITION. I THINK THAT IS KEY.
THOSE POSITIVE CONVERSATIONS.
>> AND THEN TO ALWAYS, YOU
KNOW, LET THEM KNOW, THIS ISN'T
FOR EVER.
FOR EVER.
FOR EVER. >> RIGHT, EXACTLY.
YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH. AND
YEAH. AND SO THERE'S TRANSITIONS AND
THEN THERE'S RIGHT NOW.
WE ARE SHELTERED IN PLACE, WE
HAVE CORONAVIRUS, AND WE DON'T
EVEN KNOW WHAT THE TRANSITION
IS, RIGHT?
IS, RIGHT? >> WHEN IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN OR
ANYTHING ELSE.
ANYTHING ELSE. WE HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. THAT'S A REALLY INTERESTING
PIECE OF THE PUZZLE RIGHT NOW,
BECAUSE NORMALLY WE'RE
TRANSITIONING TO SOMETHING THAT
IS KNOWN.
IS KNOWN.
IS KNOWN. LET'S SAY YOU'RE GOING TO HIGH
SCHOOL.
SCHOOL.
SCHOOL. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET
YOUR SCHEDULE, YOU'RE GOING TO
GO TO SCHOOL.
WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THAT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW.
>> WELL, WE HAVE TO BE ABLE TO
BE OKAY WITH THE UNCERTAINTY
AND THAT INCLUDES PARENTS WHO,
YOU KNOW, ALWAYS DREAMED OF
ATTENDING THEIR KIDS HIGH
SCHOOL GRADUATION AS WELL.
IT'S NOT JUST THE STUDENT.
>> WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT WE
DON'T LET OUR DISAPPOINTMENT
OVERCOME OUR CHILDREN'S
EMOTIONS AND THEIR
DISAPPOINTMENT.
DISAPPOINTMENT. I HAVE SEEN A LOT OF PARENTS
KIND OF RAGING ABOUT NO HIGH
SCHOOL GRADUATION OR IT WASN'T
GOOD ENOUGH OR THEY ARE REALLY
INVESTED IN THIS GRADUATION
PROCESS.
PROCESS.
PROCESS. AND THAT REALLY TRICKLES DOWN
TO THE KIDS.
THEY NEED OUR SUPPORT.
WE CAN'T LET OUR DISAPPOINTMENT
BECOME THIS HUGE ISSUE BECAUSE
THEN OUR KIDS BEGIN TO TRY TO
COMFORT US THROUGH THE PROCESS.
>> AND THAT'S TOO MUCH.
THAT'S TOO MUCH TO CARRY IN
THEIR BASKET.
THEIR BASKET. SO THIS TIME IS GOING TO PASS,
BUT WE DON'T REALLY KNOW WHEN.
THIS IS ESSENTIALLY A PROBLEM
THAT MAY LAST FOR AWHILE WITH
THE PANDEMIC.
THE PANDEMIC. AND THINGS MAY NEVER BE
COMPLETELY THE WAY THEY WERE
AGAIN.
AGAIN.
AGAIN. HOW DO WE BEGIN TO TALK TO OUR
KIDS ABOUT THAT AND ACCEPT IT
OURSELVES AND TRY TO BE ABLE TO
LIVE WITH THAT AND BE FLEXIBLE?
>> SO, I THINK THERE'S A FEW
KEY COMPONENTS HERE.
ONE OF THEM IS TO LET GO OF
WHAT WE KNEW TO BE THE NORMAL
AND THAT'S A CONVERSATION AGAIN
WITH OUR KIDS.
WHAT WAS LIFE LIKE BEFORE WE
GOT SHELTERED IN PLACE AND WHAT
IS IT LIKE NOW?
WE ALSO NEED TO BE ABLE TO LET
GO OF SOME OF THOSE THINGS,
BECAUSE IT ISN'T GOING TO
BECOME, YOU KNOW, NORMAL FOR A
VERY LONG TIME.
WE CAN TALK TO OUR KIDS ABOUT
WHAT IS IT THAT WE APPRECIATE
THAT HAS CHANGED?
WE'RE NOT AS BUSY.
WE HAVE MORE TIME TOGETHER.
THINKING ABOUT, WE HAVE MORE
TIME TO READ.
MORE DOWN TIME, MORE TIME TO BE
CREATIVE, TO BE OUTDOORS.
SO, REALLY LETTING GO OF WHAT
WAS.
WAS.
WAS. THINKING ABOUT WHAT WE CAN
HAPPILY LET GO, AND THEN THINK
ABOUT WHAT OUR FUTURE LOOKS
LIKE.
LIKE.
LIKE. WHAT CAN WE CONTROL AND WHAT DO
WE WANT THAT NEWNESS TO LOOK
LIKE?