- He punches me here and there, but like, if you're into that, fine.
(punches whooshing)
Some people are a little more kinky than others,
what can I say? - Oh! (laughs)
- (React) Hey kids, today we are once again playing
a rousing game of Red Flags!
Are you ready?
- Yes! - Let's go!
- Let's do it!
- This person is an Olympic gymnast. - Cool.
- So they're svelte.
- Svelte, I love svelte. - They are fit.
- Makes scented candles.
(person sniffs) - Okay.
- Oh my goodness!
- That's sweet! - That's cool, I guess.
- That is such an interesting white flag they put there,
especially next to Olympic gymnast.
- Someone who doesn't have any time, and when they do get time,
they just make candles, they have no time for you!
- I love the scented candles, like we love a soft man.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what I mean?
- Okay, red flag. - Red flag.
- Let's do it.
- Sleep puncher?
- Oh my, so like we're just... (snores)
(Jayse laughs)
- Is that like... (punches whooshing)
While you're sleeping? (laughs)
- That's like... - Ugh, ugh, oh man!
- Oh no!
- You're gonna need a lot of pillows.
- Can we empathize with them for a minute?
- Always. - Think about the dedication
and the sacrifice that they're making to be an Olympic athlete.
They're doing that for this country. - Right, yep.
- You know what I mean?
And because they're so stressed. - Sure.
- And they're punching in the night. - Mm-hmm.
- But you're there, and you're trying to love them,
and support them, right? - Yes.
- Dude, low key... - Let's see what I have.
- Okay yeah.
- 'Cause we can make the sleep puncher thing work.
'Cause I feel bad for people
that can't control what they do in their sleep.
That shouldn't be a determining factor.
- Supermodel. - Okay.
- So hot.
- I like it, that's...
- They may look similar to the Olympic gymnast.
- Taller, more svelte. Even more svelte.
- More svelte than an Olympic gymnast?
- Svelt-er-er.
- Second one, lives on 100 beachfront acres!?
Oh my God, I'm in.
- Are you kidding? - Stop!
- So he's tall, rich. - What!?
- I don't care what this is. - I mean...
- I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and live on that beach.
- Oh. - No!
- Their kisses taste like poop. - No!
- No! - And they love kissing!
- Will their kisses chronically taste like poop?
Will they be poop kisses forever,
or can they get like some dental work done?
- I think so, no, zero dental work happening.
It's poop flavored kisses.
- Like imagine you're on the beach with your supermodel,
and you're like making out, and it just tastes...
- (both) Like poop.
- Let's go back to the clip where earlier,
after we turned over the two white ones,
you said I don't care what this third card is.
- I don't care what this is!
(sighs) We're backing it up.
- This is very manageable for me. - Isn't it?
- A gymnast with the scented candles, and the sleep puncher?
No problem, dude.
- But since they're an Olympic gymnast, they're extra strong,
so the punches can hurt.
- Oh, woah, woah, woah. - Right?
- I did not even think about that!
- Right?
- Yo, I will take a sleep puncher over a poop kisser any day.
You can sleep in separate beds, like come on!
- Like, I will be grossed out,
and I cannot live with someone that I feel gross towards,
so I would rather have the Olympic gymnast
that makes scented candles, 'cause he will smell good.
- I want the sleep puncher. - Sleep puncher.
- I can deal, you didn't say no pillows.
- I'll take the Olympic gymnast as well.
- Please! (laughs)
- I think I'm gonna go with the sleep puncher.
The Olympic gymnast, again, it shows drive,
it shows determination, it shows a physical attractiveness, likely.
- I'm gonna go with the exact same person.
Sleep punchers, you just get quick, you know, while you sleep.
You just... (Paulina laughs)
- Owns 100 horses!
Okay um... (horse whinnies)
- Sorta slay!
- Okay, they've got money. - Wow, that's a lot of horses.
- They care about animals.
- That is a lot of maintenance,
if they're owning 100 horses on their own.
- That means they're a hard worker.
- Their kisses cure cancer!
- Oh my God! - Oh, I mean,
the kissing cancer person?
This, for humanity, how could you not choose this person?
- They're gonna have to go to every cancer hospital.
- Why are they busy tending to their horses
when they should be curing everyone?
- Red flag, always wears a luchadore mask. (laughs)
- Is that like one of those like boxing mask?
- It's like Mexican wrestling. - Okay!
- Rey Mysterio Jr.
- So these two combined,
they're like the superhero of curing cancer.
- Imagine seeing someone in a luchadore mask
gonna just mwah.
They're just like mwah. (laughs)
- Why are these red flags so horrible?
- Dude, but their kisses cure cancer!
- We don't necessarily know their identity,
so we can have like a Hannah Montana life.
'Cause people don't know who the cancer kisser is!
- They're always wearing the mask.
- (React) But the mask never comes off.
- It never comes off.
You don't know their identity.
- Person two.
(gasps) Pick an actor or an actress.
- Oh, any actor or actress that we want?
- Chris Pine.
He's been my celebrity crush for like 20 years. (laughs)
- I like Zoe Saldana.
- I don't have an actress in mind, but I'm just gonna assume,
you know, a really dope actress.
- Ian Somerhalder.
Season one in looks, but season five in personality.
- Wow.
- Yes!
- I have a really big crush on Emma Watson.
- Chad Michael Murray from One Tree Hill, like that era.
- Second one. Gives the best hugs.
- Ugh! - Aw!
- I love me some nice hugs!
- Firm squeeze, a good low back, get me in that low back.
- It's that hug that just kinda like...
Okay. (laughs) It fits, you know?
And you just hang on. - (React) Aw!
- (laughs) That was actually really nice.
- Yeah. (laughs)
- Can only have conversations through puppets. (laughs)
- No, why would you ruin such a good thing?
- Oh!
- Why would you do this?
- I have to pull out my puppet.
What do you need to talk about, Emma? (laughs)
- Okay, so I have to either choose
someone who's always dressed up as a puppet, essentially.
And then, someone who only talks through puppets.
- You know that joke that's like people, if you're having sex,
that like, are still wearing their socks?
But they're meaning on your feet,
so you're the person having sex, but like the socks are on your hands.
(laughs) - Make it clap!
And you're like come on!
- I choose person two!
- I also choose person two.
The luchadore mask! Like, I wanna see your face!
- Yeah, I wanna see your face too!
- I can't do the mask on the face all the time.
- Right, person one will be my BFF for life.
- I'm going to choose my masked cancer cure kisser horseman.
- I don't wanna keep agreeing with you, but like...
- It's okay. - Are you kidding me?
The puppet is a... - It's an obvious choice.
- It's a frickin' deal breaker for me! - Yes.
- I'm going person two. - Person two!
- Let's go! I love me some puppets, baby!
Person one, you ready? - Yeah.
- President.
♪ ("Hail to the Chief") ♪ Of what?
- Ooh!
- There's a lot of power that comes with being the president.
- Yes!
- I'm not dating Biden. (both laugh)
But maybe it's just someone who is the president.
- Right, it could be any president.
- Has an eight pack, man. - Mmm!
- Okay.
- This man's a fit president. - Right. (laughs)
- Will only eat if you play airplane with their food.
(both laugh)
- So we have to feed them?
- Here comes the applesauce! (mimics airplane)
- (laughs) Oh my God.
- How does this person become the president of whatever?
- Right? - Of the United States,
has an eight pack,
and will only eat if he's fed like a child.
- Person number two.
They are the hot barista. Okay!
- Oh! - That's fun!
- Okay, wait, yes. - Oh my God, that is so cute.
It is the hot barista, you go, and you're like wait,
he's kinda cute. - It is the hot barista.
- Owns a 500-foot yacht. (yacht horn blows)
- Damn, imagine waking up in a yacht,
and you're smelling some amazing coffee.
You know, you're out in the ocean, that sounds nice.
- Why are you a barista? What is happening?
- 'Cause he loves latte art,
and that means he's an artist. - That's her hobby.
- And he's creative. - That's their hobby.
- And he drives a 500-foot yacht!
- Holy!
They collect human skulls, says in quotes,
"they're practically free!"
- Wow, there it is, yep.
I kinda suspected this person of being an axe murderer.
- Maybe the person is not a killer,
and they're an archaeologist.
It's for research purposes!
- Imagine, you guys are just eating like on the yacht, or drinking coffee.
- (Paulina) Uh-huh.
- And he's like babe, look at this skull.
- This sounds crazy!
- But isn't that kinda hot? - This person said...
Well yeah, that's the problem!
- That's good!
- Everyone is lured in and aroused by crazy.
- There's no way I would ever be sexually attracted to someone
who I had to feed with airplane food.
It would never happen.
- He just presses like 350, just squats 500 pounds,
and he's like alright, I need my protein.
Airplane time.
- Eight pack president.
- I don't care about the eight pack,
and I don't care about the president either,
so this is just mid.
- I choose person two.
I'm not taking care of the president.
That's too much responsibility for me.
- I'm gonna pick grave robber hot barista with the 500-foot yacht.
It would creep me out, but I just,
I can't do the airplane food.
- I would also pick person two.
I love an artistic king with a 500-foot yacht,
and okay, they collect skulls, but like, everyone has their hobbies.
- I think about the power and the impacting change
that I could make as the first man
to the el presidente here. - Mmm.
- Person two for me. - I'm also going person two.
Let's collect some skulls together, baby!
- Let's do it!
- And the eight pack, I mean, I would be jealous,
but also, I would like it.
- First white flag.
Has all the same hobbies as you.
- Oh, love that. - Okay!
- Love that.
- That could be a good or a bad thing, we don't know.
- Oh, true! - Right?
- Sometimes I feel like that can be a little bit of a red flag.
- Sometimes it could be bad if you need your space,
and you have nowhere to go.
- Perfect amount of physical affection.
Oh, that is a white flag.
- Whatever the perfect amount is for you, they have that.
- Posts all your texts and emails online. (laughs)
Why!?
- That's like weirdo, man! No!
- That's an issue. - That is an issue.
- We have a lot to hide. (both laugh)
- Oh! (laughs) You have something to hide, Jillian?
- Also, emails, like, I don't email my fiance,
so are these my work emails?
- Yes.
- Like what of my emails is he putting on the internet?
- Best smelling person in the world.
Thank you, after that poop tasting.
- You guys, this is my person.
- That's your person? - This is great.
Yes, this is great.
- It would have to be some sweetness for me,
but also some savory.
- They're gonna think we're on People Vs Food over here.
- Maybe it's like, a little bit of french fry.
- Can talk to animals. (dog barks)
- That's awesome!
- Yo! - That's frickin' creepy!
- That's fire. Creepy?
- I mean, that's kind of like... - So it's Snow White, essentially.
That's who we've got here.
- This is some Dr. Dolittle stuff. - Oh, okay, okay!
Then maybe we can work with that.
- And they smell good?
Aw dude, this person, person two already has my vote!
- Throws up every time they see your face.
- So this has to be like a blindfolded situation,
or you have to wear like horse blinders.
- It's like Bird Box, but for dating.
They're all like walking around like where are you?
- Okay, pretend, hey hon, how was dinner tonight?
Ope, ope, getting a little too close!
- Maybe, you know, what if it was just like
a little throw up, you know, just like a bleh.
(laughs) Just like a little bleh.
- But it's every time!
- And then you're like oh, hey, we're good.
- It's every time they see your face.
- Even when we're hanging out.
- Yeah, I'm seeing your face. (both gag)
- I'm gonna go with person one, only because
if they're gonna post all of your texts and emails online,
you just call 'em! - You stop text and emailing.
- Dude, I can't... - There's no option.
- Throw up every time? Come on!
- We're trying to make this better,
because there's no way this is gonna work.
- You're right, you're right, okay. I'm going with person one.
- Me too, person one.
- I'm going with email boy.
- 100% I'm choosing email, because yikes,
I can't do with the throwing up.
Just, I would be throwing up too, just from the sound,
and the watching them throw up.
- Person one.
I just like don't know if I can do the throwing up,
and then like the talking to animals,
a little bit of a, like I don't know, what does that even mean, you know?
- Imagine a plastic bag,
because my boyfriend can't control his stomach?
Mm-mm, I'm not the one making sacrifices here.
- Person one is a porn star! (woman moans)
- I'm not trying to be critical, but like, that, that...
- That's, of course, a plus. - For you, okay.
- It's a white flag.
- I think I'd have a hard time dating somebody
who would be in that industry, 'cause I would get jealous
and feel insecure.
- I mean, like good in bed though. - Probably.
(Jillian laughs)
- Owns a magic carpet.
- (gasps) He's Aladdin! - Oh my God!
- Amazing white flag, amazing. - Now I'm just picturing
Aladdin as a porn star. (Jayse laughs)
And he was like my sexual awakening cartoon character
when I was younger, so like, for me, I kinda am liking this image.
- There's a lot of spice going on here...
But! - Yeah.
- They have three foot long fingernails. (laughs)
- Ugh fingernails? Yeah, it's more.
It's gotta be, it's like this. - Right?
- It's like three of those.
- Like, that's not three foot, is it? (Benison laughs)
- Who's gonna be a porn star with three foot fingernails?
- Homegirl, homeboy's not gonna get her fingernails
stuck on the magic carpet? Three feet!
And the homie does porn?
- Is a vampire, the sexy kind.
- (gasps) Damon or Stefan Salvatore?
This is my dream.
- Eric Northman, I mean. (laughs)
Does it get any sexier than that? I don't know!
- Are we ruling out Count Chocula then?
Is he a vampire of the not sexy kind?
- I think he's more of like the fun kind, you know?
- Okay.
- You will never gain weight while you date them.
- (deep voice) Immortal Fitness!
- I mean that's cool. - Interesting.
- 'Cause you know what? It happens.
This is called being in love.
- Okay, this has to be a really bad red flag.
- Oh, refuses to look up from their phone.
Duh, person two! I don't care!
- Well that's like half the population!
- Always on their phone,
you're trying to tell them like an engaging story,
and you need the eye contact.
- Yeah, yeah. - And they won't look up.
- Right. - From their phone.
- You're like babe, they're like no.
And he's just like I want blood.
(both laugh)
- You take the phone away.
- No, you take the phone charger away.
- True, let that thing die. - You take the charger away.
- Do we want a vampire or magic carpet?
- Yeah, there's a little magic in both of these, right?
- And you also never gain weight while you date them!
- I choose sexy vampire, no gaining weight, phone boy!
- I clearly choose Eric Northman.
Thank you so much Mr. Skarsgard,
for just being a sexy vampire.
- You will never gain weight with Eric Northman.
- Person two for me.
- Yeah, I'm actually also going...
No, okay, I'm going with, no, I'm going with...
God!
- I choose person two. - I also choose person two.
- Person two, I'm going with person two!
Oh, that's tough, that's tough!
These fingernails really got me, man.
- The only pro is that they've got a magic carpet,
and like that's super cool, but I...
- Vampires can fly. - Vampire, sexy magic is...
- Some of them can fly. - Yeah, yeah.
He'll just like hold me with his little talons.
- Strong bat, strong bat. - Yeah, we'll go around town.
- Person one is a yoga instructor.
- They're flexible, they're grounded.
- Okay. - Love me some yoga.
- There you go. - You know.
I don't do any of it, but I love it.
- Next, owns one of every car.
Now that is very different than the person
I would inspect a yoga instructor to be.
- Sick! - That's dope!
- Okay, well, I don't really care about cars that much.
- Yoga instructor, owns one of every car,
but they also compulsively lick doorknobs.
- Oh, come on! What's a little doorknob licking?
- Yeah, and this is like, like all over the knob.
- Like, do they sanitize the doorknobs first,
and then the lick 'em? Or they just lick them?
- I don't wanna read into it too far, I'm just gonna assume...
- I have so many questions.
- ...that they're just mopping up all the germs on that doorknob.
- Oh, I love this one. Professional chef, are you kidding me?
- You are eating well.
- Yes!
- Gonna cook me a lot of good things!
- Dude!
- Can get you both into literally anywhere!
Hot!
- I love that.
- Okay, so not only are you a professional chef,
but you're also going to all the coolest amazing restaurants?
- That's great! - Popular AF.
- VIP everywhere!
- Yeah no, like literally popular everywhere.
- This is mommy vibes.
- Burps and blows in your face.
(person burps)
- This is my guy, low key. (Travis laughs)
No, this is my guy. - That's not that bad!
- Ooh, that's just so rude! - Oh boy.
And you have to say yes chef after he does it.
He just blows a burp in your face.
- Yes chef. (whimpers) - Yes chef! (laughs)
- Dude, imagine your boy, like licking doorknobs.
Like, random people, like...
- How do they lick it? - How? (laughs)
- Maybe it's like a... - That matters?
- Like a little bit, like bump.
(both laugh)
- Honestly, I feel like I would rather someone that licks doorknobs.
Maybe I'd touch a doorknob, and it's like ugh,
but it's not like I'm not getting like burp essence.
- Person two! - We choose person two.
- Well, this one doesn't say how often they burp
and blow in my face.
If it's once a day, I'm fine. (both laugh)
Let's get it over in the morning.
- Once a day, alright babe, hit me.
- Okay. (laughs)
- I think it would just become like a bit, you know what I mean?
- Yeah. - Like ugh, again?
But also like I love you. - I think...
- You can get me into anywhere, and you can cook me
whatever I want whenever I want.
- I am going to choose the doorknob licker!
- I choose yoga instructor who compulsively licks doorknobs.
I love the professional chef, I'd love to eat well,
but I can't deal with someone that just burps in my face,
and blows it in my face all the time!
- Person two for me.
- Person two, I'll take a burper over a doorknob licker any day.
You know, I bet we could turn this into like a love thing,
you know, maybe I'd burp and blow back.
(Paulina laughs)
- Yes! - Woo!
- Everyone's got red flags. - Yeah.
You know what a red flag is, if there's all green flags.
- All green flags could be a red flag.
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.
- I wanna do an honorary mention.
The porn star with the magic carpet, and three feet fingernails.
I almost picked you, girl.
That was honorable mention, you probably working that carpet.
- But maybe that can be your best friend,
like the guy that cures cancer is my best friend.
- Thank you for watching this incredibly intimate video.
- Let us know some of your red flags in the comments below.
- Bye!
- You went on all this whole vampire thing earlier.
- Yeah.
- I had no idea what you were talking about.
- Stefan Salvatore and Damon Salvatore?
- Why-yai-yai?
- Vampire Diaries. - Ay-yai-yai!
- Twilight, Edward. - Okay, I know Twilight.
- Okay, let's use them.
Imagine Edward Cullen... - Got me tripping over here.