Brock Lesnar returns on Raw!
So does Emma, but to a much, much lesser extent.
And a comedy bear wrestles a match!
I’m Oli Davis, and this is the 12th June 2017 edition of Monday Night Raw...in about
4 minutes.
The Beast, Unleashed Two and a half months after winning the Universal
Championship, and defending the belt across the United Federation of Planets, Brock Lesnar
finally showed up on WWE TV, opening Monday Night Raw with a Paul Heyman-led promo.
It’s a shame Heyman wasn’t wearing a neckbrace to sell being choked out by Samoa Joe the
previous week.
Joe soon came down to show Brock he ain’t afraid of no beast, squaring up face-to-face,
and then striking first with a mean looking headbutt.
The two then had a great pull apart brawl, with Kurt Angle sending down Raw’s mid-card
to keep them apart after the usual WWE security goons were destroyed.
After last week’s great promo, the Joe vs Brock feud is now two for two in fantastic
segments.
An angle so good, the Raw writers took the rest of the night off, going home and letting
Gary from catering book the rest of the episode.
As great as the segment was, it would’ve been so much better as a hot close to the
night - a confrontation between two unstoppable heavyweights built throughout the show, Lesnar
tearing through the roster and holding Raw hostage until he got Joe in the ring.
Instead, because the show’s second and third hours were up against the NBA Playoff finals,
the Brock/Joe segment opened Raw, leaving the rest of the night with an impossible act
to follow - so why even bother?
Elias Samson beat Dean Ambrose Like the neverending, ‘help us, we’re
stuck in limbo’ feud of Dean Ambrose and The Miz.
Elias Samson beat Ambrose after some Miz interference, which Kurt berated the A-Lister about afterwards.
Miz rightfully blamed Angle for Ambrose ruining his Intercontinental title celebration the
previous week, so Kurt replied: if you’ve got a problem with Dean, do something about
it.
The Miz doing something about it, Kurt, is exactly why you were just shouting at him!
Cedric Alexander beat Noam Dar Cedric Alexander beat Noam Dar in under 10
seconds because Alicia Fox wouldn’t end her Facetime call with Dar.
Yes, this was as annoying as it sounds.
The Big Dawg Announcement Neither Roman Reigns or Finn Balor appeared
on Raw, showing how little faith WWE had in the episode’s chances against the NBA.
Instead, both men got promo packages - with Roman’s teasing a big Summerslam announcement
for next Monday.
Bray Wyatt & Seth Rollins After Bray Wyatt cost Seth Rollins the main
event last week, the two confronted each other with words.
Some of those words were good words, and most of those words were delivered well.
Unfortunately, though, I just don’t care about those words.
Wyatt disappeared with a [BLEURGH!] to end up on the TitanTron.
Apollo Crews beat Kalisto Apollo Crews beat Kalisto in another neverending
repetitive feud.
Titus O’Neil welcomed a reluctant Akira Tozawa to his brand, which actually made for
some rather goofy fun.
Sasha Banks, Mickie James & Dana Brooke beat Alexa Bliss, Nia Jax & Emma
Three babyfaces and three heels are cutting an in-ring promo.
Guess where this is going, holla holla?
One of those wrestlers was a returning from injury Emma!
Again!
For like the seventeenth time in the last 9 months!
The big angle on her return?
Tapping to the Banks Statement after Alexa Bliss left her teammates high and dry.
Bayley: Extreme Disappointment Bayley did a pretaped sitdown interview with
Corey Graves, in a segment not so wisely entitled ‘Bayley: Extreme Disappointment’.
They attempted to get over Bayley’s noble character, but ended up just making her look
creepy awkwardly hugging Graves at the end.
Rhyno & Heath Slater beat The Miz & A Bear After Miz failed to recruit Heath Slater to
his entourage, the A Lister had to find a mystery partner for their resulting tag team
match.
It ended up being the guy in the bear suit from last week’s Intercontinental title
celebration.
At some point, Ambrose switched with the guy in the suit and cost Miz the match.
Which means Ambrose attacking Miz should’ve been a DQ, as he wasn’t originally in the-why
am I’m picking holes in a match with a comedy bear?
Neville vs Rich Swann Neville and Rich Swann’s match never got
started, as the King of the Cruiserweights beat down his opponent before the bell rang.
Neville cut a promo afterwards on Tozawa, who looks to be the title’s next challenger.
Galanderson beat Enzo & Big Cass The mystery plot thickens!
Big Cass was found knocked out backstage before his and Enzo’s match against Karl Anderson
and Luke Gallows.
Another almost too obvious clue was given, as The Revival walked past in the background.
Cass insisted on competing while seemingly concussed, meaning Galanderson easily won.
Big Show saved Enzo from a post-match beat down - making Cass even more jealous…
Sheamus & Cesaro vs The Hardy Boyz Raw’s main event was a 2-out-of-3 falls
tag title rematch with Sheamus and Cesaro defending against The Hardys.
Sheamus almost immediately took the advantage, Brogue Kicking Jeff a minute in for the first
pin.
Coming off the hot tag, Matt got the second fall soon after.
The match got really fun after this, with near-fall after near-fall, but they unfortunately
went with a very lame double countout finish.
This should've opened the show, and Brock/Joe should’ve ended it.
So that was this week’s Raw in about four minutes.
Here’s the usual ratings recap, from top to bottom - In Awe, Cor, AVRAWGE, Poor and
Bore.
I’ll reveal my rating very shortly, but first, vote in the poll above my head to give
yours.
I’ll announce the results in tomorrow’s WrestleTalk News.
Well done WWE.
Your ability to consistently not follow-up on hot angles is unparalleled in storytelling.
While the Joe/Brock segment was executed perfectly, it came at the detriment of the rest of the
episode - one filled with repetitive matches and barely any narrative progression.
This week’s Raw is Poor.
Goldberg has teased a return to WWE!
And is Samoa Joe vs Brock Lesnar actually a good idea?
Luke and I talk just that in WrestleRamble.
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I’ve been Oli Davis and that was wrestling.