2 plus consumer headlines back
over to you. Okay. Thanks,
Mayor Bill
for that. With summer over most
families getting back to the
grind of the school year, which
means when a bill to see loved
ones as often as usual, right
schedules tend to changes,
includes the grandparents.
But how do you set of healthy
boundaries to avoid the
communication breakdowns?
>> And maybe resentment that
otherwise wouldn’t be there.
Joining us with more tips this
morning. Child care advocate
Florence and Romano for us.
Good morning. How are you
doing?
>> Good morning and thanks for
having me. Great. Thank you for
taking the time to be with us.
So let’s start with that
successfully setting boundaries
with our own What should we be
considering here?
>> Sounds like an oxymoron to
is that these boundaries.
>> And it scares people.
When you say that to kuz
automatically, you think, oh,
I’m doing something wrong and
you’re feeling rejected.
And the truth is.
>> It’s a hard situation when
you have grandparents taking
care of your children because
you can’t necessarily treat
them the same way you would
if it was a stranger that was
coming in your home and they
were paid babysitter of some
kind. And so you get into kind
of these little tips sometimes
with the in-laws. Are your
parents, whomever? It is
because there’s a difference
and perhaps how you’re raising
your children and how they may
be raised. You and I understand
how parents feel like I have so
much experience. As you know,
grandparents feel like I know
what to do. And if they see you
doing something that’s
different than what they would
do. They start to feel like I
have to put my opinion and
because that’s my job. As a
parent, I have to somehow
manage the situation. But it’s
difficult because you want to
allow the grandparents to
establish relationship with
the grandchildren while also
honoring the values of the home
that you’re creating.
>> Does it perfectly stated
and commute communicating
boundaries to your folks.
How do you even approach the
How do you get started on that?
>> Well, you don’t ever want
to attack. You know, I always
say, say what you mean. But
don’t say it mean an example of
this is a friend of mine.
She came home to discover that
the grandmother had pierced
her daughter’s It was a big
blow up. A grandma was like I
did when I was when you when
you are these days, you know
what is the matter? And her
daughter would like you to ask
me before you put a hole in
my daughter’s was a live from
the relationship a bit because
there was trust that was lost
there. It took a bit to rebuild
it. They finally come down from
that kind of, you know,
passionate but discussed the
fact that there have to be
rules and that this isn’t your
child. You do have to ask for
permission and it did end up
creating boundaries in the
relationship that are being
honored to this day. But
unfortunately, it took that to
have that conversation. But it
doesn’t always have to be that
dramatic. It could just be when
you do start having the
grandparents in the home that
you are clear about what the
boundaries are. You know what
what’s the rule about Swedes?
What’s the rule about screen
time? What about now time?
You do want to make sure that
they are following those rules
because it helps you as the
parent. And let’s remember the
whole reason you have help us
do you. The parent has peace of
mind not to make you crazy sure
your having those conversations
right from the jump is going to
set you up for success.
>> And I guess the one I mean,
you can have all the
conversations you want, but
sometimes you just don’t know
until that moment, right?
I mean, you could talk let’s
talk about sweet snap time.
And then it was the ear
piercing out of nowhere.
Right there. She.
>> It’s true. And sometimes
you’re just going to have to
deal with that in the moment.
But, you know, the old adage
that, you know, just maybe,
you know, county 5 before you
say something or walk away for
a second and collect your butts
that were you just start
spewing. You know, we’re not
perfect people. We’re all gonna
make mistakes. But also from
the other side of things, we
have to respect their
grandparents also have their
own set of rules and their own
boundaries. You know, they’re
stepping in to help you.
And they also are getting older
and maybe they have medical
needs or, you know, maybe
you’re not being as appreciated
as you as they deserve,
perhaps. And you know, writing.
And I think, you know, we’re
making sure every week that
you’re you’re making sure they
feel that they are part of the
family and that they’re valued.
And you appreciate the time
they’re getting. So, you know,
a little kindness goes a long
way on both sides. But in the
moment, when you are dealing
with something, you know,
practice that patients
practice, that understanding is
sometimes it can be very
difficult to do with family
members. So true. So Florida
is anything off limits here
talking your parents or your
in-laws of what you want to
>> have happen in your home
with your kids.
>> I don’t think there’s
anything off limits. I think
the only thing that you have to
be mindful of is your delivery.
And I think that all of us in
life, you know, sometimes our
delivery can just be all that.
Our intention is really lovely
Oz. So just making sure that
when you are having a
conversation, it doesn’t sound
overly critical. It doesn’t
shame them, embarrass them
necessarily. There’s a way to
say something to get your point
across without necessarily
making
them feel And, you know, again,
you want them to cultivate a
great relationship. I grew up
in an old fashion Italian home.
My mom’s parents lived with
us. It was the best time of my
life. I loved my grandparents
more than anything. And you are
teaching your children to
really great lessons when
they’re exposed to their
grandparents like that. There’s
a lot of respect that you learn
being around. Older people knew
the stories. You hear income
passion and empathy. So again,
it could be a really beautiful
situation. You just have to
make sure that you come to the
table prepared and also ready
to deal with things that come
up that maybe you couldn’t
necessarily prepare for either.
>> So for families who want to
get more to read more, maybe
they’re having a trouble
approaching this conversation.
Where should they go for more
information?
>> You can visit me on
Instagram, Florence and I
remember answer every day and I
use your virtual village.
I’m happy to talk it through or
going to my Web site have a
ton of lives, especially about
this forms and that All right.
>> Great that the other
resources out there.
>> Florence and delivery is
beautiful. If you could just
call my mother after the show.
I’m Ray could break your
lightly. I’m Kate. Thank you
for the help, it can be