- Hi and welcome to the seven ways to be successful.
The seven ways to get what you want in your life.
And you know, people who are incredibly successful
are not that different to those
who don't have enough success.
I've spent all my adult life working with billionaires,
people who are wildly successful, CEOs, Olympic athletes,
rock stars, movie stars,
and as I began to work with more and more of them
I saw that, 'oh, they do these things differently,'
and then I would teach all my clients to do what they did.
Now, some of my clients were naturally good at this
and others had to learn it.
But it doesn't matter, it's like saying,
'I adopted a child,' or, 'I had a baby.
'I had no idea how to raise it
'but then I just learned to love it.'
We learn new skills all the time.
And if you adopt these seven habits and make them your own
you can have whatever you want.
So let's talk about the first one.
The first habit that all successful people do is this,
they do what they do not want to do
to get to where they want to be.
I've worked with many many Olympic athletes
who get up at 4:00 a.m., chip the ice off their car,
train in the snow.
They don't love it, but they love the idea
of winning a gold medal.
And others will say, "Oh, I could never do that.
"I wouldn't do that."
Many of my clients when I share their success stories,
the audience go, "I wouldn't do that."
I'm like, "Yeah, but you're missing the point."
They did what they didn't want to do
to get to where they want to be.
When I was a therapist I wanted to be the best.
And I decided every day to ring up a newspaper
or a magazine and ask them if they'd like to write about
what I was doing.
I was very lucky the first one went,
"Oh, that sounds amazing,"
and it happened to be Men's Health.
Not only did they write about me,
they actually gave me my own column in the magazine.
But many of those magazines went,
"We've never heard of you, no thanks,"
and put the phone down.
But I had to keep going.
So the first thing is you must do what you don't want to.
You must do what you hate.
I was recently speaking at an event
and the guy that went on before me said,
"Hey, I'm so glad Marisa is coming on next
"because I've been writing a book,
"and I kept hearing her voice saying,
"If you don't want to do it, you must do it.
"Do what you don't want to do.
"I finished that book, I got a book deal
"because I kept saying, 'I don't want to do it'
"and I'm doing it now."
Do what you don't want to do.
The second thing is you must do
what you do not want to do first.
"I've got to make a very difficult call, I'm doing it first.
"I hate going to the gym but I'm going first."
You know, if you wait till later, you think,
'Oh, it's too late now.
'It's nine o'clock, I've eaten, I can't go to the gym,'
and you feel bad all day.
When you do it you don't want to do first,
you feel like a winner all the time.
I had a client who was massively overweight,
and I said, "You've got to workout."
He said, "I can't, I'm too big to workout."
I said, "Okay, you just walk around Beverly Hills."
He said, "Well, I'm too famous."
I said, "Well, walk around Beverly Hills
"in the middle of the night in the dark," he went, "Okay."
And at 4:00 a.m. he'd get on his running shoes
and he'd walk.
And he never went, 'Oh, I love this, this is great.'
He said, "I want to lose half my body weight.
"I'm going to do what I hate first."
He lost 200 pounds, half his body weight,
by doing what he didn't want, first.
The second thing you must do is take action
every single day in the direction of your goals.
On your way to success, you must do something every day.
That doesn't mean work seven days a week, not at all.
But on your day off or your weekend off
watch one YouTube tutorial.
Make a couple of phone calls.
Spend 10 minutes on your website.
If you do something every day
in the direction of your goals you will feel like a winner.
One of my clients said, "You know, I read somewhere
"that Michael Jordan trained on Christmas Day.
"And I train twice on Christmas day now
"because I want to be like him.
"And I find with going to the gym
"if I have a week off and a month off
"it takes me so long to get back but if I never have a day off,
"I'll say 'Well, I'm not going to go today'
"but I do five minutes of sit-ups.
"I'll do five minutes of the plank.
"I'll just do a couple of minutes of stretching."
That's how you take action, every day.
You don't take a day off.
You do five minutes on your off day
because it makes you feel like a winner every day.
So we've covered the first three.
What's the fourth thing that very successful people do?
I call it the 'bounce-back factor'.
They bounce back from rejection.
They get rejected, doors get shut.
Never think people who are successful don't hear, 'No,'
'No thanks', 'Never', 'Not you'.
They hear it all the time but they come back.
Someone said to Naomi Campbell,
"Naomi, being on the cover of Vogue,
"that door is shut to black girls."
She said, "I'll kick it open."
And I love that in her.
To say, "No, you will not shut that door to me."
So, it's the ability to understand
that a delay is not a denial, it's a delay.
A rejection is not a 'no', it's just a delay.
One Direction did not win X-Factor,
but they became the most successful boy band
in monetary terms, ever.
Because they came back.
Robbie Williams got fired from Take That,
he didn't run away and go,
'Well, I'm fired from a boy band,'
he came back as a solo artist better than ever.
All successful people hear the word 'no', they get rejected.
I love the story of Meryl Streep
auditioning for King Kong
and the guy auditioning said,
"Meryl, you're not classically beautiful.
"You're not going to make it in this town."
And she said, "That's one opinion in a sea of opinions.
"I think I'll go off and find a better opinion."
And she did.
Kevin Hart didn't say,
'I'm not tall enough to be a comedian,'
Maradona never said, 'I'm not tall enough
'to be one of the best footballers in the world.'
So, your ability to bounce back from rejection,
to not do 'no', to hear, 'no' and to ignore it.
To hear, 'no, never' and to keep going
will make you massively successful.
Number five is so easy and so important,
you must grow your own praise muscle.
Our parents, they went to work, someone patted them on the back
and went, "Hey, good job.
"You did a great job today, well done.
"You're the employee of the week, employee of the month,
"employee of the year."
And they got little bonuses
and they depended on someone else to go,
"Hey, you did a great job.
"Well done, you.
"I saw what you did, it was good."
If you have your own startup, you're in business,
if you're a coach, if you're a therapist like me,
you might never have someone go,
'Hey, what you did today was great.'
In fact, my clients do say,
"Gosh, what you did was amazing."
But even if they didn't, think about the words
you most want to hear.
Now you have to say them.
'Today, I did a great job.
'Today I was amazing.
'Today I was awesome.
'Phenomenal.
'The way I handled that client.
'The way I came back.
'The stuff I got through, the list I completed.'
Praise makes us grow.
Praise will build your self-esteem
like nothing else on the planet,
and if you haven't got a boss, or a supervisor
or colleagues to go, 'You did a great job',
If you're a photographer, if you're a coach,
if you're working for yourself, if you're working alone,
then you've got to do it.
And I can't tell you enough how much it will benefit you
to say every day, 'What did I do today that was great?'
It doesn't matter what it was
but you must praise yourself every day.
Look in the mirror and go, 'You did a great job.
'You were awesome today, you were amazing today.'
Think of the best boss in the whole world,
what might they say to you?
Whatever you might want them to say,
whatever you might need to hear, say it to yourself.
When I was writing my first book,
which is a very solitary thing to do,
I'd sit at home and write, and I didn't have anyone going,
'Oh, this is good.
'Oh, I love this chapter, wow.
'I like that paragraph, I like that heading.'
I was a single parent, I wrote when my daughter was in bed.
I had no husband, no friend, no roomy to go,
'This is great.'
So I did it.
I said to myself, 'This is amazing.
'This is great.
'This book is fantastic.
'Wow, you're doing a great job.'
When it was published I looked at it and thought,
'Oh, it's not quite as good as I thought it was.'
I could really see in the first few chapters
I had never written before,
and I could see how I picked up my confidence
and it got better and better.
And it did become a best-seller.
And that wasn't arrogance, I had a choice.
'Oh my God, this is no good, I've never written before,'
or, 'This is amazing.'
Build your praise muscle.
The next thing is read more.
Successful people watch television less
and they read more.
Every hour you spend in front of the television
you need to spend another hour reading a book.
Have some evenings when you do not watch television.
Imagine I'm going to say you can join the club
of the most successful people in the whole world.
And these are the dues, read more watch TV less,
grow your praise muscle, have the bounce-back factor,
do what you hate, do it first, take action every day
in the direction of your goals.
If you do that, you can join the success club.
Most of you'd go, 'I'd do it.'
Well do it because there is a success club,
and you can become a member.
And the seventh thing, and it's very important,
maybe I saved the best till last.
When you have an accountability buddy.
When you have someone that makes you accountable
your chance of succeeding goes up by a massive,
whopping 95%.
Isn't that amazing?
So, I want you to go into the comments below now
and I want you to say,
'I would like to be someone's accountability buddy.
'Here I am.'
And I want you to also ask,
'And I would like to find an accountability buddy.
'And we can speak online, we can speak on FaceTime.
'You're going to hold me to account
'and I'm going to hold you to account.'
Many years ago, I couldn't get a book deal for my book
that I was writing and I thought, 'I'm going to put on a talk,
'and then I'm going to get an agent that way.'
And I kept saying I'd do it.
And I had a peer group, which is kind of cool
because my name's Marisa Peer.
And I had to tell them, "You know what?
"In between now and my next meeting," we met every six weeks,
"I will have put on that event,"
and I would have canceled it
but I had accounted, I had to go and go 'I've done it.
'It's all done, I booked the room, I've got the flyers.'
In fact, by the time I went back,
I'd actually had the event.
Seven publishing houses turned up.
One of them offered me even more than I was asking for,
if I would sign with them the next day,
and not go and see any other people
who also wanted to bid for my book,
and none of that would have happened
if I hadn't had an accountability group.
Some of these things are so simple,
but the effects they have are so far-reaching,
out of all proportion, to the tiny thing you're going to do.
Go into the link now.
"He who hesitates is lost."
"Fortune favors the brave."
Now, not later, now, ask for an accountability buddy,
and become one.
You can do it to the same person
or two completely different people.
Become one, find one, join the success club,
and write to me and let me know how these seven things,
I promise you, will change your life.
Thanks for listening.
Please like, please comment, please subscribe,
and most of all, share this.
You must know so many people who go,
'I'd love to be successful.
'They're just born lucky.
'These people don't know they're born, look at them.'
Not all of them found
that those seven things came naturally.
They had to make them natural.
Going to the gym and doing 600 sit-ups is not natural.
Doing the plank is not natural.
But if you do it enough, it becomes natural.
You know what?
Shoving your finger in your eye to put a lens in,
and then squeezing it to get it off
is the most unnatural thing, as you do that, you do that.
But if you persist you can do it without a mirror.
You can make anything you like natural.
You can make anything familiar.
Make these seven good habits familiar
and make, 'Well, they're born lucky.
'I don't have that skill,' unfamiliar.
Do it, take action.
Take action every day in the direction of your goals
by making these seven habits,
not just what you do but who you are.
Subscribe, share, comment,
and let me know how I can help you more.
Thanks for tuning in.
See you very soon.