- Nurse here. Had a patient accuse me of (bleep) in her bed,
and threaten to sue me for malpractice.
Key note: she never got out of her bed.
(laughing)
That was good.
Hey guys, what is going on?
Today we're gonna be doing another Reddit thread,
specifically a really funny one
that I just came across today.
Doctors of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing
a patient wouldn't admit to?
I'm gonna answer the question right now
and then we're gonna look at everyone else's answers,
give feedback, give reactions,
all that good stuff.
Are you ready? (whooping)
As you know, part of my medical advice
is to not put anything into your ears
smaller than your elbow.
What I'm trying to say in not so eloquent terms,
don't put anything into your ears,
like into into your ears.
What the cottons swabs, or Q-tips as you know them,
are meant to be is for outside cleaning.
But then everyone likes that sensation
of scratching the inside of your ear,
it feels so good, tickle, tickle, tickle.
That is no bueno.
You actually end up doing damage
to the inside of your ear with that.
You start irritating that area
and that creates a breeding ground for bacteria.
One lovely day patient come in on my schedule,
ear pain, right ear.
Do you use Q-tips, no.
Any water in your ears, no.
So I look inside the left ear, nothing there,
ear looks good, obviously as expected.
Then we go into the right ear, what do I see?
An otitis externa,
it's basically an infection of your ear canal,
like the skin inside your ear.
But what I see a little bit further inside the ear
is cotton!
Cotton don't belong in your ears.
I don't know why I did an accent,
but it don't belong there.
I pull out the piece of cotton
and I'm like, do you want to see it?
My patient goes, yeah, I do.
And they think I'm about to show them a piece of wax,
whip it out and they get so embarrassed.
Because obviously I'm showing them
that I know that they've been using Q-tips.
It was kind of a funny moment,
we got a good laugh out of it.
That guy with a spider bite on his tongue
was actually eating spiders,
like on purpose.
Oh my god.
I mean, like, I know insects have good protein
and there's like grasshopper protein bars now,
but spiders?
Not a doctor here,
but a patient admitted to me
that she was stuck on the toilet seat for three days,
butt suctioned into the toilet seat.
Upon asking when was the last time she ate
she said this morning.
I said, how?
Turns out her husband was home the whole time
and she threatened him not to call the paramedics.
The husband was literally delivering her food and water.
I don't know what their end game here was.
Yeah, I can see how embarrassing that is,
but call the fire fighters or something.
Had a mother bring in her seven-ish year old kid
who locked a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs around his hands.
She kept saying, "he found them on the street."
And he would get mad and say, "I told you mom,
"I found them in your room."
And she would just completely ignore that.
Why would you go to the hospital?
I feel like I would call police
or like a firefighter or something.
What are we gonna do in the hospital?
I am a vet student.
Many clients like to say, I don't overfeed my dog or cat,
that's just their normal size
when their pet looks like a watermelon.
Oh, I see that a lot in the park.
They say, I barely feed him any dog food,
he doesn't like it.
But then you see at dinner time they're feeding him
mozzarella, chicken, cheese, Snickers.
I'm like, what are you doing?
Chocolate's poison to dogs.
Fido loves chocolate.
Only work records in a clinic,
but we had a woman come in with a report of vaginal odor.
All well and good,
it happens all the time in an OBGYN clinic,
or family medicine.
What she hadn't bothered to say was that
she'd gotten a tampon stuck
around the end of her last period.
However, she's gone through menopause seven years earlier.
What.
How the remote control to a Zenith television
wound up in the rectum of a 54 year old father of two?
They stopped making Zenith television sets years ago.
From a medical perspective,
why do you still own this remote?
I can literally smell
the smoke on your clothes and breath,
see the nicotine stains on your fingers,
and you're trying to tell me
you quit smoking 10 years ago?
That actually happens a lot.
When patients come in for a physical
that is mandated by a life insurance company.
It's well known that
if you admit to a life insurance company that you smoke
you get higher premiums.
People lie
and try and tell the doctor that that's the case
but now we have a blood test
and a urine test that we can check
and see if you actually do smoke.
I guess some people can argue that
and say they're secondhand smoke but
we know.
Nurse here.
Had parents bring their three-year-old son
to the emergency department
for one month of abdominal pain
that kept getting worse.
I ask all the routine questions for this complaint,
lots of questions about poop,
bloody diarrhea, mucus, when was the last one, changes.
They deny any other concerning symptoms but abdominal pain.
We do blood work, ultrasound, x-ray.
Everything comes back normal
but the kid is intermittently screaming in pain,
curled in a ball.
Over the next five hours
I continue to repeat the same questions.
I asked repeatedly if there was
anything else going on that they could think of.
Nope.
I bring in the discharge paperwork
and I'm about to start going over the instructions
and the dad goes,
you know, for the past three months
he's had a lot of worms in his poop.
Worms.
Effing worms.
You spent six hours denying worms.
I literally just turned around
and walked out of the room without saying a word.
I was laughing almost to the point of tears.
Could not wait to tell my resident.
Deworming medications, a (bleep) of wasted of time,
and they were on their way.
Worms can happen,
They're parasites, they live in their digestive tract
and it's just a simple medication away from being treated.
Actually one of the tests that we do for worms
is called the scotch tape test,
may not have heard of it.
But we literally put a piece of scotch tape
on the butt hole area.
I don't know why I said it separate like that,
but we put it there.
Dan, stop laughing.
I don't normally laugh when I say butt hole,
but I can't say certain words
because of the YouTube demonetization algorithm.
So not only am I trying to sound medically accurate,
but I also have to watch my words
'cause of the algorithm.
So the butt space hole,
you put the scotch tape there
and then the worms lay eggs
so that when we take the scotch tape off overnight
we can look at under microscope
and say, ooh, look, worm eggs.
They're there, it's positive
and we can treat it.
The more you know about holes.
A teacher once told me a story about a lady
who brought her young child into the emergency department
complaining that the child was sick from eating ants.
The doctor struggled to see how that would make her sick.
It wasn't until after some time
and the child beginning to get very sick
that the mom said she gave her own child ant poison
to kill the ants she ate,
then told the doctors
it must be the ants and not the poison.
Oh my god!
If that's true.
Do not eat an poison, moral of the story.
I can give you that medical advice and not get in trouble.
When I sedate kids
they have to be NPO for eight hours before,
meaning no food for eight hours.
So I always ask if they had anything to eat
or drink in the morning.
Parents never want to admit their kid ate or drank,
even when I remind them it's very important
because if they vomit and aspirate they could die,
meaning choke on their own vomit.
Because when you're sedated
you don't have good gag reflexes,
that if you're choking on something you'd spit it out
or vomit it out.
So imagine you're vomiting,
you don't have good gag reflexes,
you could easily inhale the stuff.
Often they try to minimize it
and say that it was just a few bites,
but the one kid walked in
eating a bag of Cheetos at reception
and then the parent insisted to me
that they hadn't eaten.
Yeah, I'm 100% not sedating your child today.
There's plenty of times that a patient comes in,
they need blood work.
I tell them okay, make sure you don't eat.
They get their blood work, they come back.
I look at their blood tests,
I'm like oh my god, you're so diabetic.
You're young, how are you so diabetic?
You weren't diabetic, you know, six months ago.
And they're like, oh, was I not supposed to eat?
I admitted a guy for chest pain.
As part of the workup I did a urine drug screen
which came back positive for cocaine.
After the rest of his cardiac workup was negative
I said to him, good news you didn't have a heart attack.
It's likely that your chest pain was caused by cocaine.
His answer, I didn't use cocaine.
See, I was at a party
and people had some lines of cocaine out on a table
and as I was walking by an oscillating fan
blew the cocaine into my face
which is why my urine was positive.
(laughing)
I've said before my channel
why you need to be really honest with drug use
when you're talking to your doctor.
Because there's many times medications interact,
treatments interact.
And unless we know fully what's going on
we may actually do more harm than good to you.
Not a doctor, but a nurse.
Medical professionals,
we're opening it up to medical professionals.
Had a patient come in with a toothpick in his penis.
Refused to tell me how he got in there,
insisting he was picking his teeth and it fell in.
(laughing) Oh, man!
I feel like there's always gonna be
some kind of weird thing that a patient came in,
tried to insert into themselves one way or another
and they tell a really interesting story
because they're embarrassed to tell you the truth.
Don't be embarrassed.
Doctors are humans too.
We do weird stuff all the time.
I mean, not me.
But, you know, other doctors.
Not a doctor, but work in the E.R..
One day some pretty young parents brought their toddler in
because he was super lethargic
and not responding to any stimuli
and the parents said they had no idea why.
The staff were pretty concerned for him
because those symptoms are
a pretty big red flag for small kids.
So we start running a bunch of tests
including a drug screen
which ended up being positive for THC,
the main ingredient in marijuana.
The doc goes and talks to the parents about it
and they finally broke down and admitted
that the kid had eaten
an entire bottle of their weed gummies
while they weren't paying attention a few hours earlier
and he was just high.
Oh my god, that's so dangerous.
We need to be careful with this kind of stuff.
This is why Tide Pods, like,
we know of Tide Pods 'cause of the Tide Pod Challenge,
but Tide Pods are actually really dangerous
and cause severe issues in very young children.
Because if they're kept in a low enough area
and there's a three-year-old running around
he sees a colorful thing that looks like candy,
puts it in his mouth, emergency room.
I can't tell you how many immaculate conceptions
I've seen in teenage girls
with their overbearing religious parents.
The crazy thing is how tightly the parents
stick to the story that she never had sex,
but somehow got pregnant.
I get it.
You, like, are lying to yourself
so that you don't displease, you know, your faith.
That kind of stuff doesn't bode well for physicians
because we're trying to deliver quality care
and we're trying not be judgmental,
but if you're gonna lie to us and mislead us
we may hurt the person that we're trying to save.
Swingingrichard3, I evaluated a patient
for acute abdominal pain in the ED.
No PE, physical exam, findings were noted
and the patient's vitals were all within normal limits.
I then ordered some plain films, which is an x-ray,
which showed an incandescent light bulb
lodged in the rectum.
When questioned about how the light bulb got into his rectum
he stated he was working outside in the garage
and fell off a ladder.
He was then sent to the operating room
where the bulb was a rule without any complications.
Some days I love my job.
A light bulb?
First of all, incandescent light bulb,
how does it not shatter, A?
And B, why?
In reality, yeah, people sometimes feel embarrassed
and don't tell the truth,
that's why you need to be a good communicator as a doctor
to sort of feel and sense these things out.
As a patient,
the advice that I would give to you for the future,
please be honest with your doctors.
If you don't tell us about a specific drug you've taken
or activity you've done
we can actually harm you.
We can even kill you in certain circumstances.
The more honest you could be,
the better care you're gonna get.
I'm gonna be telling my crashing a car spider story soon
and that's gonna be me
admitting something really bad
to ambulance drivers, firefighters, and all that.
So I'm not afraid to share
some of my most embarrassing stories.
Come on, for god's sakes, I told you guys
I pooped in my pants so many times as a kid.
Check out my Mother's Day video for that.
If you have any good Reddit threads
you want me to look through and discuss on this channel
drop them down below in the comments,
share them on my subreddit which is linked down below.
We can talk about it,
we can get some education,
have a good laugh, smiles, all that good stuff.
And check out this playlist right
that I created especially for you.
As always, stay happy and healthy
(lively music)