Can we get one thing straight right now? Can Luis Suarez please stop biting people? Not
because of any danger or harm or risk that he poses to any other player but for goodness
sake can we just stop having to suffer the surge of shit puns and ridiculous memes. It's
boring. Even more boring in fact than Costa Rica Vs England.
Welcome to the Guardian World Cup Show News!
We feel a bit like the parent of a teenager caught doing meth this morning. Ignoring the
fact isn't going to make it better, so at the very least let's just try and get through
this without either of us needing years of counselling. Where to start? The incident
itself, the histrionics or some of the reaction flying around on social media?
While we may be disappointed, any fading celebrity or brand needing a bandwagon to hop onto had
a field day with McDonalds and Listerine amongst the most effectively cynical exploiters and
it even brought former bite victim and the social-media -savvy Evander Holyfield out
of retirement, getting his tweet in quick.
And just to add insult to injury Suarez's post-attack play-acting completed proceedings
and turned the whole incident into the equivalent of a angry man punching a wall and then wondering
why the wall isn't the one with the broken hand.
Which leaves us asking the question WHY? Maybe the BBCs Danny Murphy summed it up most succinctly
"There's something wrong in the head with him and I mean that in the nicest possible
way" - just to be clear, he was talking about Suarez (not Alan Shearer)
So maybe the biggest question we should be asking is WHAT? What fate lies in store for
Suarez? With that in mind we sent Marek Larwood to find out
I'm going on the street again to find our what sort of punishment FIFA should give Suareeeeeeeeeez
For me it's an automatic ban, he shouldn't even play in the world cup, he should be banned from the world cup
Whilst he should get a punishment he should also be looked in to for his mental stability
Banned from international football for a couple of years
Personally, I think he's disgraceful the guy should be banned for a considerable period of time
These people are role models and he shouldn't play any further part in international football. I think he should be banned for life.
Lot's of people said stuff, what was it that they said? I don't know. Back to you.
Thanks Marek. That's what they think, what about you? What punishment do you think Suarez should get?
Let us know in the comments below.
I wish I'd put on a fiver on it happening, but as you can see we've spent all the World
Cup Show budget on this expensive set. Besides this Norwegian guy got there first -
If Suarez being the first player in the tournament to bite someone wasn't much of a surprise,
card-happy referee Marco Rodriguez - nickname little Dracula - not punishing him, was.
Not that Rodriguez was that bothered having already upped his red card count to 52 in 80 games that is.
Mario Balotelli did his best to make it 53 with this "Knee dive off the turnbuckle"
But perhaps most disappointingly of all, shorlty after the game, the serene & studied Cesare
Prandelli resigned. Nice job, Luis.
And, just when you thought England couldn't be more underwhelming........the Costa Rica
game, supposedly heralding the dawn of a new era ended with Gerrard and Lampard in the
middle and Rooney on the right.
At least the game won "most ambiguous sign spotted in the crowd" award: "Thanks Gerrard"
Elswhere, the Golden generation of Ivory Coast managed to beat themselves, conceding an injury
time penalty to Greece to go out of the tournament. That's the Greek team who haven't scored in
over 18 thousand earth hours. So 2 goals in 90 minutes presumably makes them a golden
generation too, by their standards.
And FIFA has announced that it is unable to bring charges over German fans wearing black
face make-up during the match against Ghana meaning the 2 fans spotted are off the hook.
That well may be, but we still think they're massive bell ends.
Nigeria are the only team left in the tournament yet to concede a goal. In fact, The Super
Eagles have kept a clean sheet for 221 consecutive World Cup minutes.
The African side have never beaten South American opposition at a World Cup, but they have every
chance here with Argentina converting just 8% of their shots, with Lionel Messi their
only goalscorer thus far.
That's just about it for today's news let us know what you think about Luis Suarez
and Prandelli and England for that matter, in the comments below
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