At certain point it takes faith to
create
because in creativity there's always uncertainty.
It's okay to have uncertainty,
but if you enjoy the process, step by step you'll see what's coming to you.
I was born into a family where my mom was already a photographer so I just always grew up with camera.
I loved camera. I loved photography
So when I reached a teenage and came here to Canada..like I started shooting some photos of long boarders
because I started longboarding
and started making our own longboard videos.
That's when I really start to like love capturing.
One day, you reached out and you're like,
hey we have this like conference coming up like we need a videographer.
After going through that whole process with a group of people
who are like really passionate about making videos and photos.
I was like, "Wow, I really want to do this more. You know what I was the type of person who would
try new things and quit, try new things and quit."
And that's exactly how I went into academics as well.
I would study and like I don't like this and change and try different things.
This was like the first time I felt like, "I should commit to something."
I think the biggest struggle I had like growing was just never being satisfied with the work that I do.
No matter where I am, there's always going to be someone better than me.
My first year into film, I think I told my wife, "I think I'm gonna quit and try to go back to like a full-time job."
And she said, "But you're gonna hate that job again and you're gonna quit."
"What is the main reason why you want to quit?" and I said, "I don't think I'm really growing in my work."
She said,
"Even though right now, you feel like you're quitting,
you just gotta trust the process."
So the question is, 'how to keep going?' Is that the general gist?
I think what I've come to realize working in this space is it's really about identity.
So, if you identify as a filmmaker or if you identify as a YouTuber or if you identify as a creative in a particular direction,
You're gonna have ups and downs but I think it's it's really leaning into your identity.
At the end of the day that kind of gets you through the valleys
but also doesn't keep you so high on the mountaintops either
It's like, 'No this is this is a result of my hard work,'
when stuff does work out and when it doesn't, I would be doing this stuff for free anyways., which
if you are a YouTuber starting out you might..you might be doing it for free.
So I think, yeah just lean into figuring out who you are and you might, you know, decide
"I thought I was a filmmaker, I thought I was a YouTuber,
and then after a couple weeks months years into it you're like,
'You know what, turns out I'm glad I did that experiment, but I'm not a YouTuber.
But, I discovered this next thing that I'm super stoked about.
I wanted to be a YouTuber and I started.
I think I tried for like three months. After three months I realized, 'I don't want to be a YouTuber.'
'This is like, not my thing.'
Had you not done that experiment, you wouldn't have known fully
and you might have like if you went straight into like traditional doc making you might be like
'Oh man, maybe I could have been a YouTuber,' but before you knew that. you did that experiment.
Didn't work out, or it wasn't what you thought it was and you could be confident on the next thing.
I thought I was really creative and I realized I'm not that creative.
At certain point I learned to know my capacity.
And start to rely on different people who has different types of capacity than me,
in different areas of making film.
And I think that's when the real growth start to happen.
If you really want to do some creative work, especially like in film,
I would totally say, "Don't quit."
I say that with confidence right now, but I still think about quitting all the time.
And I just have to rely on a lot of people to tell me to my face, 'Don't quit.'
Yeah you know what, that's true - there are a lot of like creative talented people who just like get there really fast.
But I think a lot of people are just keep going.
They trust the process,
and enjoy the process and
you just keep going.