My name's Mike.
I was in the Army, served in Vietnam from '71 to '72.
I lost seven friends in a helicopter crash.
I had to go with the CO and the company to the crash site
the next morning.
I still have a lot of bad dreams about that, and it
bothers me.
When I came back, I thought I was OK.
There was nothing wrong with me.
I didn't have any great effects due
to that, but I did.
I waited a long time before I got any kind of help, and it
made things difficult in transitioning
back to the real world.
I had a lot of anger, suppressed anger, and stuff
that I didn't really come to terms with.
And it affected me in relationships with my family,
with my friends.
Looking back on it now, I wish I would've got some help.
I was glad to be home, but along with being home there
was something missing.
And I think myself and a lot of my Veteran friends, we
self-medicated ourselves through alcohol, and it
doesn't really help.
It's just a--
and for sleeping, to this day I still don't sleep well.
And I don't get a good, restful night's sleep.
And alcohol was about the only way to go ahead and basically
pass out, then you get sleep.
My anger management and alcohol gave me a lot of
trouble with relationships and family.
And alcohol seemed to bring out the
demons that I was carrying.
I waited well over 30 years before I took any advantage of
the VA system to seek help.
I was in denial for so many years, there's
nothing wrong with me.
And I don't know, I guess maybe it's just a lucky thing
that I went ahead.
And a friend of mine, another Veteran friend of mine,
encouraged me, and rode me for a long time, and bugged me to
go down and check it out.
I finally listened to him and went down.
And once they pointed out the symptoms and all this stuff
and show you what's going on, you realize that,
hey, this is me.
I fit all these categories.
Something's up here.
I go to a PTSD group once a week with other Vietnam
Veterans, and we've been together in that group for
about five years.
You may have some of the worse problems that week yourself,
but if you got a Veteran friend that's got problems,
too, you'll find yourself helping him.
And it helps yourself, too.
It keeps me focused.
It's like a once a week grounding.
It grounds me and puts me in a good direction.
We were brought up to not be weak.
We were brought up to be self-sufficient and strong.
And it's not a weakness.
It's just things like this affect you.
And you don't realize it, but if you want to live life and
enjoy life, you've got to accept a few things.
And being denial is no good because you're not
going to get any--
it's not going to get any better unless you try to make
some changes and try to come to terms with what is
affecting you.
Go seek some counseling and see if they can help you.