-I am in my 40s now.
I´m married, I have a child.
But nothing, and I mean nothing,
makes me feel older than when I don´t know
the new slang terms that teenagers are using.
And it seems like these teen slang terms,
these new ones are evolving so fast,
it´s hard to keep up.
So as a service to you,
we decided to give you a little primer on new teen slang
in a segment we call "Seth Explains Teen Slang."
♫♫
[ Cheers and applause ]
Our first new teen slang term is "field trippin´."
This is when you take drugs during a class trip.
[ Laughter ]
For example, "I´m pretty sure Jeff´s field trippin´
because he just walked up to a diorama
and told the cavewoman her eyebrow game is on fleek."
[ Light laughter ]
Our next term is Gary-mandering.
This is when you rearrange the seats
in the cafeteria in such a way
that Gary can´t sit at your table.
[ Laughter ]
For example, "Gary´s new retainer
makes him spit when he chews,
so we Gary-mandered our table,
and now he has to sit with the D&D kids."
Our next new teen slang term is pumpkin spice.
Let´s see what it means.
It´s someone you haven´t seen since last fall
and are sick of almost immediately.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Here it is in a sentence.
"I was so excited to see Kevin last week,
but after an hour, I remembered he was actually
unappealing and gross.
#PumpkinSpice."
[ Laughter ]
Next up, we have side salad.
Let´s see what it means.
It´s when you cheat on your boyfriend
with someone who is much better for you.
[ Laughter ]
Here it is in a sentence.
"I like that Devin is a bad boy,
but every once in a while,
it´s nice to spend a weekend with my side salad, Tim,
who is on the honor roll and not addicted to pain killers."
[ Laughter and applause ]
This next one, very, very useful.
It´s Civil War portrait.
This is when your mom takes way too long to take a photo.
For example, "Mom still doesn´t know
how to use her iPhone camera.
She spent 20 minutes asking, "Is the flash on?"
And then took eight selfies.
#CivilWarPortrait. [ Applause ]
Up next,
we have Dadderall.
This is when your dad says something to you
that keeps you up all night.
For example, "I´m on no sleep,
because right before bed, my dad said,
´Son, you know how we´ve been saving money
for you to go to college?
Well, you know what, never mind,
we´ll talk about it tomorrow.´
That Dadderall kept me awake all night."
[ Applause ]
This next one has really taken off with the teens.
It´s David Schwimmer.
Here´s the definition.
The kid at school who only shops
at the department store Ross.
[ Laughter ]
For example, "Jake says he can´t shop for clothes
unless he´s digging through stacks of t-shirts
and piles of Quiksilver sandals on the ground.
Boy a David Schwimmer."
By far my favorite one,
which I guess is why I´m the guy in his 40s.
[ Laughter ]
Coming up next, it´s Rex Tillerson.
This is someone who is doing everything they can
to get fired.
For example, "Brandon went full Rex Tillerson yesterday.
He walked into his job at Starbucks 20 minutes late
wearing no shirt and called his boss a [bleep] moron."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Still there, though.
Still there.
Next up, it´s fraudka.
Here´s the definition.
What´s left when you steal your parents´ liquor
and top the bottle off with water.
For example, "My parents are hosting a dinner party Saturday,
and I´m totally going to get busted when they discover
that all we´ve got in the bar is fraudka and Faker´s Mark.
#MostlyWater.
[ Applause ]
Our last new teen slang term is Brady Brunch.
Let´s see what it means.
It´s when you move two large tables of people
together while having brunch.
For example, "We were four guys eating brunch,
and we saw four girls at a separate table.
We pushed the two tables together,
and that´s the way we all became the Brady Brunch.
The Brady Brunch.
That´s the way we became the Brady Brunch."
♫ Ba-da-bum, bum bum, bum-bum ♫
That was "Seth Explains Teen Slang."