HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE
TERM WARM DEMANDERS?
IT'S A CONCEPT USED MORE
WITH TEACHER STUDENT
RELATIONSHIPS BUT IT CAN ALSO
APPLY TO ANY RELATIONSHIP THAT
LEADERS HAVE WITH THEIR TEAMS,
PARENTS AND THEIR CHILDREN,
COACHES, PLAYERS.
RELATIONSHIP REBOOT TIME.
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A WARM
DEMANDER.
JOINING US NOW, RELATIONSHIP
GURU MICHAEL WALKER.
GREAT TO HAVE YOU WITH US
TODAY.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME ON.
IT'S BEEN A SOURCE OF QUITE
A BIT OF EXPECTATIONS TODAY.
I HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANT.
IT'S BASED IN IT ABOUT HOW
DO I SHOW CARE FOR THE
INDIVIDUAL AND AT THE SAME TIME
HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR THE
INDIVIDUAL SO THEY CAN BE THEIR
FULLEST SELF.
STUDENT TO TEACHER
RELATIONSHIPS IS HOW IT BEGAN.
ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT'S TALKED
ABOUT IN SOME RESEARCH
ARTICLES.
WE KNOW THERE IS SUCCESS
WHEN TEACHERS HAVE A WARM
PERSONAL CONNECTION TO THEIR
STUDENTS.
YOU'VE STILL GOT TO GET THE
WORK DONE.
FOR SURE.
HOW DO YOU BUILD TRUST.
WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IS HOW
DO YOU BUILD, PUT MONEY IN THE
BANK OF RELATIONSHIPS.
THAT'S ABOUT GETTING TO KNOW
THEM PERSONALLY.
ALSO PROFESSIONALLY SO YOU HAVE
DIFFERENT IDEAS AND THINGS YOU
KNOW ABOUT THE STUDENT OR THIS
EMPLOYEE YOU'RE WORKING WITH TO
HELP THEM GAIN BETTER TRUST IN
YOU.
IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT TRUST;
RIGHT?
IT'S ABOUT ENCOURAGING THEM AND
BELIEVING IN THEM.
BELIEVING IN THE IMPOSSIBLE AND
GETTING THEM TO DO SO AS WELL.
FOR SURE.
THAT'S ABOUT NOT BELIEVING IN
SINGLE STORIES.
THERE'S SOME DEFICIT MIND SETS
PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT CERTAIN
STUDENTS, CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS.
HOW DO YOU THINK PAST THOSE
BOXES THAT PEOPLE ARE PUT IN
AND PLACED IN.
ANOTHER WAY YOU TALK ABOUT
CREATING THAT SPACE IS BY
TEACHING THE IDEA OF SELF-
DISCIPLINE.
IN IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF
THE STUDENTS ON THAT SIDE OF
THE EQUATION?
FOR SURE.
ONCE YOU HAVE BUILT TRUST AND A
SENSE OF BELIEF IT'S EASY FOR
THEM TO HAVE SELF-DISCIPLINE.
NOW THEY CAN BE LASER FOCUSED
AND BE TRUSTING THAT YOU HAVE
THEIR BEST INTEREST AT HEART.
YOU'VE GOT THEIR BACK.
EXACTLY.
I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I'M A
HUGE FAN OF THE PHRASE FALL
FORWARD FAIL FAST.
BECAUSE WE, YOU DO NEED TO MAKE
MISTAKES.
THAT'S HOW YOU LEARN AND GET
BETTER.
IF YOU CAN DO THAT QUICKLY YOU
CAN GET THERE FASTER.
THAT'S SOMETHING YOU SAY TO
EMBRACE FAILURE.
YOU HAVE TO EMBRACE FAILURE.
WE'RE ALL GOING TO MAKE
MISTAKES.
ESPECIALLY DOING THINGS AT WORK
AND SCHOOL.
HOW ARE WE HAVING A GROWTH MIND
SET AROUND THESE OPPORTUNITIES.
POP THAT WORK WITH ME SAY I ASK
THOSE QUESTIONS.
AS A GOOD COACH AND LEADER IS
YOU'RE ASKING QUESTIONS TO
CREATE THIS SPACE WHERE PEOPLE
CAN MAKE MISTAKES BUT
EXPERIMENT AND BE RISK TAKERS.
HOW DO YOU GET THEM TO THINK SO
WHAT'S THE NEXT OPTION OR WHAT
CAN WE DO DIFFERENTLY.
MISTAKES ARE GOOD.
IT MEANS YOU'RE TRYING.
AND YOU'LL GET THERE
EVENTUALLY.
A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE
HEARING THIS ARE THINKING I
WANT TO BE A WARM DEMANDER.
IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT
WOULD BE A GOOD THING FOR MOST
PEOPLE TO FIND IN CERTAIN
INTERACTIONS.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
SOME OF THE ACTIONS IS
BASICALLY YOU HAVE TO STAND
YOUR LINE.
SHOW STRENGTH IS MEANING HOW DO
I SET MYSELF UP IN A SPACE.
SOMETIMES THE STATUS QUO WILL
COME UP AGAINST US.
SOMETIMES THEY TELL US IN
ORGANIZATIONS IS YOU CAN'T GET
TOO CLOSE TO YOUR EMPLOYEES.
THIS IS FOR THE BETTER GOOD OF
WHAT OUR OUTCOMES ARE.
IT'S A TWO WAY CONVERSATION.
YOU HAVE TO NOT ONLY GIVE
SUGGESTIONS BUT LISTEN.
THAT'S ONE OF THE KEY
COMPONENTS.
MAKE SURE YOU'RE LISTENING AND
AFFIRMING.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
NOT JUST ABOUT THE WORDS
THAT POP ARE SAYING BUT
NONVERBALS.
LISTENING TO THE MESSAGE
BENEATH THE MESSAGE.
AFFIRMING WHAT THEY'RE TALKING
ABOUT AND GIVING SUGGESTIONS
AND IDEAS.
I HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING HERE.
HOW CAN WE MAKE THAT BE
ACTIONABLE IN THE PROCESS
YOU'RE TRYING TO CREATE.
THEN YOU HAVE TO CHALLENGE
ALSO.
THIS IS WHERE THAT
RELATIONSHIP PIECE COMES INTO
PLAY.
WE HAVE DEPOSITED ALL THAT
STUFF.
NOW WHEN WE'RE STARTING TO
CHALLENGE WE HAVE TO GET SOME
WITHDRAWALS OUT OF THAT BANK.
WE HAVE TO CHALLENGE AND THEN
OFFER CHOICE.
SO HOW ARE WE CHALLENGED?
WHEN THEY'RE MAKING THOSE
MISTAKES AND WE NEED THEM TO DO
BETTER AND SAYING WHATST THE
CHOICES YOU HAVE IN FRONT OF
YOU.
NOT SO EASY FOR US PASSIVE
MINNESOTANS.
WE'LL TRY TO WORK ON IT.
I JUST LIKE THE VIEWERS TO KNOW
THAT JASON IS MY WARM DEFENDER
EVERY DAY.
AND DEMANDER.
AND DEFENDER.
ALL THE THINGS.