Unknown Speaker 0:07 What on earth
is sex therapy? And how is it different from relationship therapy? So as a sex therapist,
I get asked this question all the time. And before we even get into it, I'm kind of curious,
have you ever wondered what sex therapy is? Or been like kind of confused about it?
Let us know in the comments down below. So in this video, we are going to talk about
what sex therapy is what relationship are couples therapy is how those types of therapy
are different, and how to figure out which one might be the right kind of therapy for you.
Unknown Speaker 0:38 But before that,
we just want to say hi, if you're brand new, here we are Vanessa and Xander Murrin. Vanessa,
here is a sex therapist. I'm a regular dude, we've been together for 13, almost 14 years.
Unknown Speaker 0:50 And our account is all about
giving you the tools, tips and techniques that you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship
inside of the bedroom and out. So if that sounds like something that is of interest to you,
yes, hit that subscribe button, so you get notified about all of our latest videos. Alright,
so sex therapy, couples therapy, they do share a lot of similarities. There's this basic idea
around like understanding yourself and understanding other people better
communication, identifying and expressing needs navigating different sets of needs
conflict resolution. So there definitely are a lot of overlap between the two types of therapy.
Unknown Speaker 1:28 Alright, so let's talk
differences. Because you might be thinking, Alright, like sex and relationships, those things
seem super intertwined. So how is there really a difference here? So the real basic difference is
the focus of the therapy, is it on sex? Or is it on relationships, so sex therapy, in particular,
really tends to be shorter and more action focused on issues you might be having around sex.
Unknown Speaker 1:54 And even though they're so similar,
there's a really big difference in the level of training that you receive. So I'm a licensed
psychotherapist, and I do you know, marriage therapy, couples therapy, relationship therapy.
And in order to get that license, I really didn't need to do any training in sex, we had
to take a one unit course, it was basically just teaching you like the anatomical names for things
you probably already knew those. Yeah. Um, but yeah, like specific training in
sex therapy wasn't really required to be a couples are relationship therapist. Now, I
always knew that I wanted to have this particular specialization in sex therapy. But it was really
a struggle for me to figure out my career path because the term sex therapy isn't regulated. So
I couldn't just, you know, when I was 22, I couldn't just say, Hey, I am a psychotherapist,
that term psychotherapist is regulated, I had to get specific training, I had to pass
specific licensure chairs, do hours, all this kind of stuff to call myself a psychotherapist.
But anybody can call themselves a sex therapist and set up a sex therapy practice. So it makes
it really complicated to you know, find people who are really reputable because there's no regulation
around it. You don't really need any specific training to like, Call yourself a sex therapist.
Unknown Speaker 3:10 Yeah. And so for that reason,
sex therapy tends to be more misunderstood than couples therapy, because you know, if you go to
a couples therapist, you'd have a basic idea of what kind of background or qualifications
that person has. So let's give you a little bit more information about sex therapy. So the
basic goal of sex therapy is to help you have a healthier and a happier sex life and really kind
of who doesn't want. Yeah, who doesn't want that? You know, the idea is to just educate you about
the realities of sex and give you some practical tools to use. So that's kind of like how I was
saying earlier that it tends to be shorter and more action, or maybe action in education focus.
Unknown Speaker 3:49 Yeah, so sex therapy can
help you out with pretty much any sex related concern that you might have like improving
your relationship with your body, learning how to experience more pleasure, learning how to orgasm,
getting new ideas to shake things up in the bedroom, increasing your sex drive,
or balancing mismatched sex drives, dealing with performance anxiety,
processing negative emotions around like trauma or negative experiences that you've had. Dealing
with fantasies decreasing shame, like so many different things, anything that's related to sex,
that is what sex therapy is there for. Another really important point to make about sex therapy
is that it really should be professional. Again, it's not a regulated term. So you can
find people doing all sorts of different stuff. But really, professional sex therapy should never
involve nudity, it should never involve touch, it should be a very professional experience.
Unknown Speaker 4:38 Alright, so if you do decide
you want to go out and look for a sex therapist, here are some good things to ask about. So it's
good to always ask about what type of education or qualifications or licenses they have, like,
are they also a psychotherapist? Or maybe do they not have any specific training in that area?
Unknown Speaker 4:58 Yeah, like for me,
for example, I do share with people. I'm a psychotherapist,
I also shared that I got my undergraduate training in human sexuality. So that's my
whole degree is around that. So you're looking for somebody that even though there's not this
specific set of qualifications that they have to have that they at least have some training around
Unknown Speaker 5:15 it. Yeah, especially if you want to talk
about stuff that is maybe you know, overlapping the wheelhouse of a traditional psychotherapist
and a sex therapist, it's probably a good idea to look for someone that does have a
psychotherapy background, unless you're really just looking for very specific education or kind
of like pieces of advice. Also, it's good to ask just what does the therapy entail?
Because like Vanessa said, sex therapy is not a regulated field, sex therapist is not a regulated
term. So different people have different ideas of what that is. And so it's good to confirm like,
is this just talk therapy confirm that there's no touch or nudity involved?
Unknown Speaker 5:54 Yeah, and I do want to clarify, you know,
it's not that everybody doing some form of like, touch base sex therapy is like a bad person or
manipulative, like touch can be very therapeutic, the same way that we go to like massage therapist
to like, get touch. That being said, like, you really want to be clear ahead of time that that's
what you're getting into, and that that that's something that you are like, really feeling is
the best fit for you. Versus like starting to meet with somebody and then realizing like, oh,
they want to get touched involved, and you don't feel comfortable with that. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 6:23 we hear stories of this all the time
where you know, somebody thinks they're getting, you know, just talk therapy, and they go in,
and then all of a sudden, it turns into something different. And there's some confusion there. So
that's to avoid that confusion, make sure you are getting what you are looking for.
Unknown Speaker 6:40 Another thing is just
to ask if they have experience with your specific concern. So
you know, I named all these different things that sex therapy can work with, like different
people might have different specialties. So for example, I really specialize in female orgasm,
but somebody else may say like, actually, that's not really my thing. So just ask about that.
Then finally, be picky. Like you are going to be talking about a very sensitive subject,
and you want to feel that you are comfortable with this person. Like obviously, there's gonna be some
awkwardness, some sense of like, oh, boy, I'm sharing like, a lot of personal details with you
especially right at first, yeah, you want to have this sense that like, I feel comfortable with this
person, I feel like we could develop like a really comfortable relationship. So be picky about that.
Alright, so if you're listening to this video, and you're thinking like, Oh, where do we get started
as well feels a little intimidating, then we just wanted to point out that we have a variety of
really amazing sex therapy courses. So I started creating these years ago because I realized, like,
it is a tall ask to ask somebody to come into an office, to talk in person face to face with a
total stranger about the most intimate details of your life. So I started making courses about some
of the most popular topics that people would bring up like female orgasm, mismatch, sex drive, better
sexual technique. So these courses can be a really great way for you to get started, learn some tools
and techniques and even get a sense of, hey, do I have something deeper that's coming up for
me around this that I actually would want to do therapy psychotherapy, couples therapy with versus
like, oh, no, I just wanted to like learn some fun, new positions, and that was pretty great. So
we will put a link to check out all of our courses and products in the description box down below.
Unknown Speaker 8:19 So that wraps up our
video on sex therapy versus relationship or couples therapy. If you liked this video,
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Unknown Speaker 8:35 Alright, see you next time.