We are so fortunate to have a great mission here at the VA,
working with folks that believe in providing the service
to the veterans who've defended our country.
This is a fantastic mission.
We do this with compassion
and passion for our work.
This means a lot to us,
and this is rewarding.
So loving kindness practice is, uh, old meditation practice,
just like focusing on the breath.
So it has been around for thousands of years as well.
And what we do here is we are using phrases,
and we're using phrases,
and then we go through different categories.
So, usually, we would start with ourselves,
sending friendly wishes to ourselves,
and then to a friend, or we could switch those,
so to a friend or a loved one first,
and then to ourselves.
And then there are more categories.
All the phrases start with "may you..." or "may I..."
"May you be happy." "May I be happy."
So it's very important not to get mixed up here
with positive affirmations.
Like, a positive affirmation would start with, like,
"I am happy,"
or "you are happy."
And if this is not the case,
it can sometimes be very hard.
So, what we do is we wish this.
So it's a heartfelt wish for ourselves
or the people around us, because as you might hear us
talk about this, it might feel like,
"Oh, God, this is so fake,
and this is so not working for me."
And what's really important is
the intention makes it work.
So you just repeat those phrases, and with that,
you will change your neurocircuitry
just by the repetition, so it becomes more normal
that you hear those words, and so in a situation
where you would usually judge yourself
or somebody else,
it makes it more likely that those words will come up.
Working in my substance abuse and homeless populations,
I frequently hear laughter, like, "What?
"You want to turn us into punks with this.
You want us to be nice or you want us to be marks."
And this is quite different, right?
So the idea isn't that you're a pushover
or that you're a mark.
The idea is how you hold yourself with kindness.
We all know, right, the world is hard enough.
Right? Life can be difficult enough.
Do we need to beat ourselves up in our own internal experience?
The last category of loving kindness phrases
is "sending it out
to all beings."
And I change this a little bit to... to say,
"and to all the men and women who are in active duty
"in Iraq and Afghanistan, right here, today,
"may you all be safe.
"May you all come home.
And may you all know peace."
This they feel,
and from this moment, the beginnings,
the kindling of compassion and care for another,
you can come back to have them
start to care for themselves again.
The metaphor that I think vets understand well
is, you know, if you want
big guns, what do you do?
You start with the little weights
and you keep working, and what happens with the work
of the weightlifting, the muscles respond and grow.
If you want the ability, the capacity
to have more feel-good and have more
experiences of joy and connectedness
and pleasure in your life,
a loving kindness practice is a great way to start.
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