(Slap) Top o' the morning to ya
laddies, l'm Jacksepticeye and welcome to life the game
another cute little free game
to play. I was going
to say "Free horror
game to play" i'm about to say a
little free game to play, you can go play it for yourselves
I'll leave a link in the description as I always do (We know, Jack!)
If you wanna try it out for yourself first
But it seems to be a very quick little game
Where you go through all the stages of life
Now me, personally, I'm only a quarter of a way troo it
That- if well, I live to a hundred, that is ( doubtful chuckle)
So, I-I-I haven't the full life yet so I don't really know what's gonna happen
I don't know what's gonna happen in the later years
I'm almost 30 now which sucks
Well-yeah-I'm closer to 30 now than I am to 20
How crazy is that? (WE KNOW, JACK!)
But I have played the start of life, I have done life right up until now
Which has been alright; it's been pretty good so let's do it in game form
Get born!
What, oh! Push, push, push!
Oh sweet jesus, little aidly baby comin' out
(Laughing like a perv)
FOOMP!!!
Tap, okay. It's telling to tal-this is not talk, this is music
This is singing, oh god don't get any faster than this
Oah jesus, this is a lot, it's a lot to take in
A B C D,
SUCK
SUCK A
SUCK A DICK
SUCK A DICK (Welcome to the Jacksepticeye show! FOR KIDS!)
I did it.. Yay! I'm the best little baby
Study!
12+5 is 17 the square roo- square root of 3?
Uhhhh 20
Yes, I di- A+!
I can't believe I did math that fast (me neither)
Ah, puberty... pop the spots
What a shit time puberty is
How many of you goin' through puberty right now?
Ahh your in for one hell of a ride
Teenage years man, oh those are fun..
NOT!!!
So much pressure all over you have to do so many different things in your life
You don't even know what the fuck is goin' on, these hormones goin' through ya
Um, oh I'm on Findher, okay
Yes, god no, NO, yeah why not, no
(Of course he failed, Zoidberg is so SEXY) Fucking gaylord
What?! Was Zoidberg wrong?! Oh, I clicked yes (pay attention, jack)
It keeps like going past, I don't get to read what it says
no, no, yes, why not Zoidberg? Oh I have to pick Zoidberg? Okay
It's a match! Sports
This game is so fuckin' fast
Go little balls... (thought) Oh man I thought i was best fucking beer pong champion the world has ever seen
What up, I'm great at-beer pong
Make coffee
Um coffee, okay uh milk. You imbecile, get out
(jack reads what is shown up above)
That's kinda scary, I mean I don't want to go to prison. Prison is a scary place
Um, how do we make coffee?
Uh, sweet sugar, milk-MILK! I put cheese in! Ohh I made him sick again
Okay, we go coffee, sugar, milk - PERFECT
Excellent, your-you keep your job (making coffee)
Because I got coffee fuckin' coffee done?
Um, okay I need to get married
Uhh, toga toga (not a toga) perfect
Did it... what? Is this the right one
I think- If i'm gonna get married, this is the exact thing I wanna get married in
(disappointed chuckle)
(jack reads what's up above again)
That's madness!
'kay, get married
It was showing me this in the end screen-noo this
Those look nice, you have two sets of underwear on now
Okay, suit up I guess
How BORING is that? (it looks fine)
Getting married in a married suit
Ohh, fancy man, getting married in a suit with your fucking purple hair (he's just jealous)
3....
2....
1....
WHAT?!
That's not the right one? It said "Suit Up"
The prison outfit? No, the dress?
No,
The br-an? panties
NOO
It was showing me that on the end screen
(uncertain chuckle)
No... Okay
I'm going to suit up
(now he realizes)
OHHH, I have little teeny tiny boots!
OHH i didn't see them before
Get kids...
I'm pushing for kids again?
It's a boy, it-twins, TRIPLETS, QUADRA-WHAT?
Uuuuuuuuum...
Are you just gonna keep poppin' out babies-jesus christ!
Beer, new car, that, this, you buy everything, buy everything it doesn't matter
Cool! Panties, the-chilies, and movie ticket
(Jack reads again)
Do I have to buy everything?
That, that, tha- I know it says a list at the bottom but I wanna see what it says if I actually buy everything
Sweet! A ticket
Yay! On your way home you forgot to buy everything... I bought literally everything
'Kay so what do we need? A new car, travel tickets, and weights
There's my new car, you don't buy them at the fu**in' grocery store
Weights, and a travel ticket
That's how change your life around
Grand children! What?!
Drag & drop grand children
Put the grandchildren in the fire
(Evil laughter)
(Jack reads again)
Wait...
On your first day as babysitting for your own daughter
No that's just called parenting
(Continues reading)
Okay, so do I just keep them in the middle then?
Like this?
Yes. Yes!
Go away- No-
STOP THAT YOU F**KIN' KIDS!
Why do kids always want to get themselves killed?!
Stop...
STOP!! (scream)
You were fine!! You didn't get set on fire you asshole!
OK, you go all the way over there
you go all the way over there.