♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪ >> THANK YOU, GUYS.
>> HEY, YOU'RE TURNING 69, RIGHT?
>> DALE. LEAVE IT TO DALE TO MAKE A
NASTY, NASTY JOKE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> GUILTY AS CHARGED. >> WELL, I MAY LAUGH, BUT I
REALLY DON'T LIKE IT. >> WELL, ANYWAY.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. YOU ALL ARE SUCH DEAR FRIENDS.
>> ONLY FRIENDS HERE? >> YEAH, ONLY FRIENDS?
OR? >> OH, YES.
MY HALF-BROTHER, LARS. >> HALF-BROTHER, FULL FACEBOOK
FRIEND. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
AND HIS PARTNER, JOLENE. >> IT'S EASY TO REMEMBER, LIKE
THE WHORE FROM THE SONG. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> SO -- YEAH. THANK YOU BOTH FOR DRIVING ALL
THE WAY FROM THE TIPTOP OF CANADA.
>> NO OFFENSE. BUT WHO'S GOING TO MAKE THIS A
REAL PARTY? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> OH -- YOU DON'T MEAN DRUGS, DO YOU?
>> THINK SEXIER. >> OH-OH.
SOUNDS LIKE THEY HIRED A STRIPPER.
>> NO. NO.
I SAID, NO NASTY. >> NO, SHE'S NOT A STRIPPER.
BUT SHE'S SMOOTH, BEAUTIFUL, SHE LETS YOU GRAB HER BY THE NECK
AND SLAP HER AROUND. IT'S MY UPRIGHT BASS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, LOOK, HONEY, HE MOVED OUR
ENTIRE MEDIA CENTER AND PUT AN UPRIGHT BASS THERE.
>> DON'T WORRY, ALL YOUR CRAP IS IN THE BATHROOM.
WHO WANTS TO PLAY MY UPRIGHT BASS?
>> PROBABLY NO ONE. >> WELL, I DO.
>> WELL, IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY UPRIGHT BASS, WHO'S GOING TO DO
SPOKEN WORD POETRY? YOU?
>> NO. NO, I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS IS
GOING. >> YEAH, WHERE IS IT GOING?
>> WELL, I THINK MY HALF-BROTHER AND HIS WIFE ARE GOING TO
PERFORM SOME JAZZ THING. >> WELL, YOU KNOW.
FEEL FREE TO SNAP ALONG, ANYONE. I THINK YOU'LL KNOW WHY WE
PICKED THIS ONE. >> THIS IS FOR YOU,
HALF-BROTHER. ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.
♪♪♪ ♪♪♪
>> OH! ♪ KATIE'S ON THE STAND
WITH THE SHACKLES ON HIS HANDS
BECAUSE KATIE STOLE ♪ ♪ THE BACON
SAYS THE BACON'S FOR THE TAKING
STOLE IT FOR THE LOVER ♪ ♪ BUT THE LOVER
FOUND ANOTHER HE NEVER DID CONFESS
BUT THEY FRIED ♪ ♪ HIM NONETHELESS
MEOW MEOW ♪ [ LAUGHTER ]
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY. >> WOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT WAS AMAZING.
THANK YOU. >> NO, NO, WE DON'T DESERVE ALL
THAT, COME ON. WE CAN DO BETTER.
>> SEE, NORMALLY WHEN WE DO THIS, WE'VE JUST MADE LOVE, ANY
OLD WAY. >> YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES, TWISTED
AROUND, UPSIDE DOWN, MATCHING NIGHTGOWNS.
BUT THAT'S ALL OVER. WE'RE GETTING THE BIG
D-I-V-O-R-C. DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT THAT
SPELLS? >> WELL, YOU ALMOST SPELLED
"DIVORCE." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> AND WE'RE ALMOST DIVORCED. >> WE TRIED TO FIX THINGS WITH
AN OPEN MARRIAGE, BUT HE FORGOT TO TELL ME ABOUT IT.
>> I COULD HAVE SWORN I MENTIONED IT.
>> NOPE. >> WELL.
THANK YOU BOTH. WE ENJOYED WHATEVER THAT WAS.
YOU DID IT. AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THE DIVORCE.
>> NO, NO, DON'T BE. THE MARRIAGE MIGHT BE OVER BUT
WE'VE STILL GOT THE BED. HEY, LET'S PROVE IT.
>> NO NEED. ♪ TONY LONEY MONEY
AND BALONEY HIS NAME WAS WAY TOO LONG
TO FIT ON A TOMBSTONE-Y ♪ ♪ GRUMPY OLD CROONY
HE FOOLED EVERYONE WHEN HE CHOKED ON
HIS BALONEY ♪ ♪ SHOP A SHOP A SHOP A ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW ♪ [ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR JAZZ SPEECH.
I THINK WE'RE GOOD. >> AND?
>> SORRY ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE. >> BUT?
>> WE'RE GLAD THE BAND IS STILL TOGETHER?
>> BECAUSE? >> WE LIKED IT?
>> AND NOW YOU WANT AN? >> ENCORE?
OH, NO. WHY DID I SAY THAT?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I GUESS THIS IS HOW I'M
SPENDING MY FIRST BIRTHDAY OUT OF QUARANTINE.
♪ NOTHING COULD BE SLICKER THAN A RABBIT
DRINKING LIQUOR BUT WHEN HE WENT ♪
♪ TO STICK HER HE HAD THE
WHISKEY IN HIS PICKER ♪ >> OKAY, I LIKE IT NOW.
♪ HE'D JUST LAY THERE LIKE A WORM
REFUSING TO PERFORM RABBITTY CAVITY ♪
♪ RABBITTY RAY RABBITTY SAYS NOT TODAY MEOW ♪
>> WHY DOES IT ALWAYS END WITH "MEOW"?
>> I DON'T KNOW. ASK THEM.
>> HEY. WHERE'D THEY GO?
>> I THINK THEY'RE HAVING SEX IN OUR BEDROOM.
>> WAIT. HOW DO YOU KNOW?
>> THEY LEFT THE DOOR OPEN, AND I CAN SEE EVERYTHING.
>> I GUESS. ♪ SHABA SHABA SHABA
MEOW ♪ >> OH, MY GOD.
>> NO, NO, DON'T LOOK, THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]