Joan: Doctor! Doctor!
Thomas: Yes, Doctor!
Joan: I have invented a cure for...for...uh...
Thomas: Forgetfulness?
Joan: No...
[Theme music]
What is up everybody!
So, a lot of you know that I am an actor―I enjoy acting.
So, I usually work pretty well with a script.
One thing I definitely need to work a little bit more on
is thinking off the cuff.
It's called "improv" if you didn't know.
And, there are all sorts of little games and activities that people participate in.
So, I figured we would take this vlog as an opportunity to expand on my improv prowess.
And, it's all being helped by you guys.
Well actually, I'm going to be getting help from two places.
One will be from you guys,
the other will be from my friend, Joan.
Joan: Hi! Thomas: OH MY GOODNESS!
Thomas: You were my hands the whole time? Joan: Yeah...
Thomas: Man... [laughs]
Earlier we asked you to send in suggestions on Twitter using the hashtag:
for phrases that you either created
or references to other things that now we will have to randomly insert
into a scene that we will have to act out.
Thomas: Are you... Are you mirroring me?
Is this what this is? Yes?
Joan: Yes. Thomas: Okay. Alright. [laughs]
Thomas: You wanna say anything else before we begin?
Joan: No! Thomas: ALRIGHT! [laughs again]
Thomas: So this scenario is going to be a doctor scene?
Joan: In a doctor's office. Thomas: A doctor's office!
Joan: So, one of us will be a doctor and the other one will be a patient.
Thomas: There you go.
Joan: We'll find out who's who. Thomas: The typical scenario.
The typical "who you'd find in a doctor's office."
Joan: The tip-(ical) of the hat.
Joan: N-Nice try. Thomas: Stop it. Stop it.
So we've got the hat.
We got the hat here with all the little suggestions.
Thomas: The nurse...handed me your info. And I gotta say, it's not good.
Thomas: First of all,
the note right at the top alarmed me.
Thomas: She wrote- On your data, she just wrote,
"You are a human, with one life, and it's up to you to make it the best life you can."
And that inspired me.
And then, I went on to read the rest of the board and that note there said,
"Embrace the glorious mess that you are."
Joan: I haven't been to a doctor's office in 7 years.
Thomas: Uh huh.
Joan: And I'm like- Thomas: Wow really? Okay.
Joan: Yeah, my leg fell off the other day...
Thomas: What?!
Joan: Well, my friend saw and they were like, "Oh you don't have a leg anymore."
They told me this.
I'll never forget what they said to me.
They said, "Sometimes you just need to play Fantasia and pretend to conduct the music."
Thomas: Yep. No. I totally, as a doctor I can definitely vouch for that.
It actually takes your mind off of it sometimes.
Look, it's totally fine. You don't need to worry.
Things like this happen all the time, strangely enough.
Joan: I’m really excited about it,
because I think my calf and my thigh are gonna get real beefy from standing on one leg all the time.
Thomas: Oh I know, trust me.
Uh, it happened to my grandmother actually―
―not too long ago.
And she had that, you know, that old home fashion advice.
It was really, really cute.
She basically just said "C'MON SVEN, USE YOUR GLUTES!"
Thomas: And I was like, "Once again Granny, my name's not Sven."
But the important thing is:
Now that I have established a level of trust, are you willing to-
Joan: You've established more than a level of trust.
Thomas: I'm so glad. I'm so glad.
Do you have anything that you might need to share
with me, before we go on with treatment?
Joan: I'm in love with you, aren't I? I want to explore these feelings more.
Thomas: Do you want to say anything else on top of that?
[Romantic music] [Thomas and Joan giggle]
Joan: As a matter of fact I do.
Thomas: Okay.
Joan: "Let's live life on the edge of the kiddie pool."
Thomas: Alright.
Joan: "Bibbity Bobbity Back off!"
Thomas: That was fun!
Okay, so now this one shall be a...date.
Joan: Hello! Nice to meet you!
Thomas: Timothy. Joan: Timothy?
Thomas: Yeah. Joan: My name's Kurt.
Joan: I'm really excited about this; I've been taking dating classes.
Thomas: Dating classes? How does that work?
Joan: It's uhh, it's pretty good. They just tell me how to talk to people, how to, uhh...how to smile.
This is the smile I've been working on...
Thomas: It's adorable.
Joan: Thank you.
Thomas: I can learn to love that...
Um, I have never been on a date so...I think we're both on the same...in the same boat.
But you know, when I was about to go, you know, meet you, I asked my mom for advice.
Joan: Yeah.
Thomas: So she basically was just like, "The ocean chose me."
And I don't quite know what she meant by, "The ocean chose me" other than the fact that she
probably has a wild spirit. She let it flow with her, so I feel I'm gonna just let things flow.
Joan: Sounds like your mom's a little bit of a psychic
because in some underground clubs I'm known as "The Ocean".
Thomas: Good thing I like the beach. Joan: Yeah...
Thomas: That's so exciting! Well I kind of enjoy, um, singing.
And I'll go into public areas, right? And just kinda like surprise people in like parks and libraries.
And I'll sing a simple little lovely phrase,
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow!" And...
Joan: [singing] ♪ Meow, meow, I'm a cow ♪
Thomas: You know the song! Joan: Mhmm!
Thomas: Right? Let's sing it together! Ready? Joan: Yeah, it's by Marina and the Diamonds.
Both: [singing] ♪ Meow, meow, I'm a cow ♪
Thomas: ♪ No stoppin' me now ♪
Thomas: So do we get the ball rolling? What do you want to do tonight?
Joan: I-I'd like to go to a SLAM poetry gala.
Thomas: Really? Joan: Yeah.
Thomas: Oh, we're just jumping right there?
Joan: Uh, yeah. We just discovered tonight that we're both good poets...
Thomas: Oh, yeah we- we are.
Joan: But you're a pretty good poet yourself! Thomas: You are too!
Joan: Why don't you throw something at me? I wanna hear it!
Thomas: Ready? Okay. [clears throat]
"We had a bonding moment. I cradled you in my arms."
Thomas: That's all I had.
Joan: That's a good start.
Thomas: I-I just like to end it really sad. [laughs]
Joan: I think a possible addition to that
Thomas: Yeah! Fi-finish up. Finish it up!
Joan: So, it's... um. "We had a bonding moment,"
"I cradled you in my arms"―Let me think, this just off the top of my head―
"Cheese sticks stole my heart."
Thomas: That really goes together actually quite well. Joan: "That's why they call me 'The Ocean!'"
Thomas: Oh! That was beautiful! I didn't even think I was talking about food.
But, I love my cheese sticks...with all my heart.
Joan: So y-you're gonna come with me?
Thomas: 'Course I will! I'm here! Joan: Okay, cool! Well-
I-I never, I've never dated anyone before.
Joan: 'Cause this ocean's not ready to wave goodbye.
Thomas: Oh... snap. I-I I need to think of something just as witty.
Are you ready?
Joan: Okay. Lay it on me, Timothy.
Thomas: "The secret to life is...42."
Joan: ...I'm in love with you.
Thomas: So, okay. Let's switch it up now because we're being a little bit too nice with each other.
Joan: Yeah, we're falling in love with each other too frequently.
Thomas: We are! Falling in love so much. Joan: We have to- we need to
have a scene where we definitely won't fall in love.
Thomas: Exactly! Joan: Like a fight!
Thomas: A fight!
Both: Oww... Oww!
[Hardcore rock music] Joan: I got somethin' I wanna say to you.
Thomas: Wait, wait wait. Oh- oh have we started?
Joan: Yeah! Thomas: What?
Joan: Don't try and chicken your way out of this one!
Thomas: I'm not chicken...ing my way out of anything.
Joan: Borden, I got som- Thomas: Borden?
Joan: Borden, that's your name! Thomas: My name's Borden?
Joan: [chuckles] That's right! Thomas: [laughs]
Joan: I've got somethin' I've been meanin' to say to you! Thomas: Okay.
Joan: "Did you know I can bench press seven children?"
Thomas: I can bench press eight.
Joan: Oh! Oh, I'd like to see that, Borden. I would like to see that.
Thomas: I came here for one reason and for one reason only
and that was because you've been talking trash about me.
I know what you say. You go into those bars are you say,
"If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hotdogs."
And you know what? As a pork chop chef, I take great offence to that because all my porkchops are perfect.
Joan: [Mumbling] Two-star porkchops, yeah.
Thomas: Uh, what?! No, they are THREE stars, sir. Four stars is impossible. Three stars!
Joan: I think all your pork chops should be made into hotdogs, Borden.
[Yelling] You're the worst pork chop chef on this block, Borden!
Thomas: "I can't go to hell, I'm already out of vacation days."
So we're settling this now! Here and now...on this plane of existence!
Joan: I'll tell you what hell is, Borden―eating one of your two-star LAMB...PORKCHOPS!
Thomas: Now the only thing that is going to solve this
is by reaching some sort of healthy compromise.
Because otherwise, I’m going to just have to lay my fists on your face screaming,
“I'd rather have you, cursed OR NOT!"
Joan: Borden, I will-
[soft music playing] Thomas: Sorry, I just addressed a little bit of my feelings
and we don't need to explore that... just yet.
T: I wanna fight you.
Joan: "Life is like a box of chocolates." [Thomas laughs]
Joan: "You never know what you're gonna get." [Both start laughing]
[Hardcore rock music resumes] Joan: I fall asleep to movies a lot. My head's racing a lot 'cause I need to put that on
[Yelling] so I can stop thinking about you, Borden!
Joan: [Still yelling] For two seconds!
[Still yelling] I put on Forrest Gump so that I can stop thinking about you, Borden!
All it ever is for me is, "Borden, Borden Borden!"
Because I'm in love with you, Borden.
[Soft music] Thomas: Alright. Well...now we're going to explore [Joan laughs] that feeling.
Thomas: It always kind of―you know―resorts back to that.
We need to probably put a cap on that.
Thomas: Maybe our fighting is just part of a suppression for something else going on.
I appreciate you trying to continue on this fight, to suppress those feelings.
Joan: [Yelling] OHHHHH BORDEN! [Music stops]
[Both crack up] Thomas: We're done.
Thomas: Okay, so we have a few more suggestions left,
so Joan suggested we try and to a little bit of beat poetry.
Joan: Yes, uh...a duo. A beat poetry duo.
Thomas: Oh boy. Well. [laughs]
Here we go with that one!
[Whooshing noises]
Thomas: "What in tarnation?!"
Mutual combinations...
of multiple generations.
No determination or discrimination,
but the elimination of...
discrimination. [Buzzer sound]
Joan: "Bouncing baby buggy bumpers. Bouncing baby buggy bumpers. Bouncing baby buggy bumpers."
Bouncing baby bubby...buddy bumpers.
Thomas: Oh!
Joan: "Bouncing baby buggy bumpers."
[Soft dramatic music] I remember chanting that mantra,
saying it in drama class.
Saying it five times fast.
I'm-I'm a stammerer,
I- No one can understand her.
Saying it in front of the class,
everyone laughs.
It's an embarrassment. You're an embarrassment. They laugh,
they mock her,
But they can't stop her,
she'll rise above,
she'll show them all. In favor of their mockery, she will return to them love.
[Thomas snaps and dramatic music stops]
Thomas: That was good! [laughs]
Thomas: That was cool. Joan: I enjoyed that.
Thomas: I did better than I thought I was going to do.
Joan: I did worse.
[Thomas laughs, then Joan laughs]
Thomas: But yes! So, thank you all for those suggestions!
If you guys ever have issues with going up on stage, giving presentations, auditioning for shows,
these are always good games to get involved in and you're probably doing them.
Joan: Yeah, or even in social situations in general. Thomas: That's true.
Joan: A lot of people struggle to come up with conversation topics, and stuff.
Thomas: Yeah!
Joan: Sometimes a good way to break the ice, or just get used to talking off the cuff like that, is improv games.
Thomas: Yeah, That's a good point. I love it.
Thank you all for watching the video. Thank you to Joan for being in this video.
All their information is down in the description below.
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That's it, and until next time: Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals! Peace out!