i did coachella and with in front of 80 000 people which was insane with rapper yg
and i lived on a tour bus with him and um and traveled with him and kendrick lamar in 2017 for a
month wow what was that like that was insane that was another one of these amazing foods on the bus
what's that like what kind of snacks were on the bus um vagina that was the snack
so i can be crude on this can i right of course yes all right i felt like i would be upset if you
weren't all right um so yeah i got an email one day and it was like listen this is the manager for
yg do you want to go on tour with yg and kendrick lamar it's an 18 city tour 30 000 people a night
arena tour starting in san jose and ending in um miami and we're going to be in canada all
across the country and i thought i didn't know who kendrick lam i mean how white is
this i didn't know who kendrick lamar was no didn't he date a kardashian i barely know who
he is i thought he was like a linebacker for the baltimore ravens i had no idea what it was
and i'm like i get the email i'm like and i so i mentioned it to somebody i'm like yeah kendrick
they're like yeah kendrick lamar's like one of the biggest like hip-hop artists out right now
in 2017. he later went on to win like a grammy i'm like i didn't even know so i was like of course
i'm like i got to do it because i don't know where this is going to go of course i got to go on tour
and they're like look you're going to be basically on a bus and there'll be some hotel rooms
but it's a it's a bus tour and i'm like all right well i figure we'll be on the bus during the day
then at night we do the show then we stay at a hotel then the next day we get back on the bus
well of course didn't end up that way i show up that like a week later i literally was in idaho
and i jump on a plane and i land in san jose get an uber i show up an hour before the show
and there's a big bus and there's like like a you know 50 african american guys
outside the bus and they're and they're like were you afraid to stay black you were like i have to
call them african-americans i'm trying to be nice they're listening i don't want them to stab me
yeah 50 black guys and they're like urban urban like very black the yg is is
a blood's gang member and also oh okay did you feel safe protected yeah so i i made the mistake
i was wearing blue i had no idea oh no and i'm like oh oh [ __ ] i'm just no i'm a giant fan
i know nothing about the crabs don't kill me and so for the next four weeks i'm living on
a bus where there's six buses and i lived on a bus we had two strippers on our bus
what's that do you remember their names you know what they're not even i i could find out i don't
even remember but they were not like famous dancers like literally girls that they met
like locally just starting out yeah like an internship just starting out like an entry-level
position okay yes apprenticeships or whatever and um there was like two white guy roadies that like
looked like pirates they were like you know the typical like gruff and backward baseball
hat and they've been doing this for years and then just six of his buddies from from compton
and we there were no hotels we literally lived on the bus for four weeks
there was nine of us sleeping on top of each other in little cubbies and i was i remember being like
oh my god i had a panic attack i'm like first of all i can't sleep on a bus in like a little cubby
it's like a pizza oven i've seen these videos of these like pimp tour buses and it's like
it's like not even bunk beds it's like stacked yeah you can't even you can't even sit up here
claustrophobic yeah you can't sit up you have to literally you just slide in and you lay down
and you have a curtain that's all you have and you have nine other people
like three like two uh above you and then you know three other whatever six or seven other people
in and these aren't your friends like you don't even know that would be horrible with your family
you imagine and with your friends you probably like didn't know where to put your wallet
yeah well i put it where i i should put i shoved it up my ass
they don't like people having sex on the bus in the little cubby holes with me they were they were
raping me i got raped for one month i was raped as trump worth it for the opportunity yeah but i was
because i was trump it didn't count as me getting around okay so i felt good like orange man bad
yeah right so i would we we go on there and imagine like being on a bus with people
that number one they're you know they're all friends and i'm a white guy wow and you're the odd
man out so they don't even want to get to know me because they're like first of all i'm doing kids
yeah yeah and they would look at me when i was out without makeup and they'd be like yo
[ __ ] trump [ __ ] trump i don't know i'm not his representative yeah i don't know i'm gonna
touch your chin yo you [ __ ] trump what do you like trump and i'm like i'm doing this that's
the parody i'm doing it because he has a song called [ __ ] donald trump you must like him
you know they were freaking out and i was like i'm gonna die on this freaking trip and then his
what his bodyguard like after the shows kendrick lamar was would be saying that to you no not
kendrick had his own boss oh ironically he's like really really he's really um he's straight he
doesn't drink he doesn't drug he's like straight arrow and he had his own boss and yg is much more
you know city urban okay bad you know he's the [ __ ] right he's the bad boy he's the blood
bad boy he's like like is he the crypt keeper is he like a main crypt i don't know how it works
well he's a blood oh yeah we wouldn't i would never call him a [ __ ] that would be that's not
that probably would be that might end my career yeah you do the wrong handshake i don't know right
you do the wrong side i didn't know any of this thing i was so white i never felt white in my life
until i was on there and i didn't even understand what they were saying to each other like i'd wake
up and they'd be like yo what's cracking what yo you yo we gotta chop it up sit down we gotta
chop it up you gotta chop it up yeah are we eating like i don't chop it up yeah are we making a salad
what's happening yeah they were like no dude you know you don't know urban slang i'm like
i don't know i don't so but they couldn't kill me because they needed me every night to go on stage
yeah every night that's really funny it was oh crazy and there was no and i have to say but
i really thought like i was like these guys really don't they never acknowledge they wouldn't talk
to me no one hung out with me whoa literally on my own canadians do like you you might not like
somebody your opener but if you're if you get put in a comedy condo with somebody you end up
you know being polite and becoming friendly and even if you don't think they're the most hilarious
person you're still you get along yeah and they were like they're very
very insular you know they're like they hang with each other and they see a white guy
and they're he's not from not from compton i'm not in that world they didn't even want
to get to know me but the irony is by the end and by the way never make gay
jokes with them like i made a gay joke with one of them and they want he wanted yeah
i pretended to blow him as donald trump with the wig on in the middle of the green room oh my god
he's like yo trump with that wig what are you a [ __ ] you were [ __ ] and he was like the skinny
clever yeah he's the skinny wimpiest one out of all of them he's like yo you training you training
yo you chanting we people where you're probably out blowing people you're training with your wings
so i went right over and made a beeline with my wig and i just started went into his legs like i
was going to blow him and everyone was like whoa what the [ __ ] what was that [ __ ] you know and
then that night on the bus he freaked out this kid he was so angry at me because he basically it's
like i'm calling him a [ __ ] by doing that wow i'm like i was but i was blowing you yeah be happy
you he he was calling you that first basically exactly i almost called you a call you weren't
just doing that out of out of nowhere right i didn't have to blow you i was doing it we called
you gay so right how was that your fault right so that night we almost had like a a fight in the box
and then after that i was like oh my god they're all going to kill me because they're all friends
you have to sleep with your curtain open yeah exactly but then after that we kind of get we
didn't have a fight but we got into a verbal thing and all of his friends were like waiting like to
see what happened and after that believe it or not they all respected me because they saw that
i wasn't kissing their ass and i'm okay that's good you know i'm new york i'm me i'm who i am
and i went back to do coachella a year later and they were all so happy to see me and they
were hugging me and we were friends that's really wow yeah and i there is a beautiful
world at the end of the story which isn't they did finally let you blow them yes they did yeah
well i was right first i was raped again that was that was part of it i always get raped by them
and then they let me blow them this time without the wig wow they must really like you now
but but the thing was that we all go into a situation with a certain stigma or stereotype
of other people and i certainly had one of them i mean i've never hung out with gang members
and they've never hung out with me and by the end of it it's like i understand they're i
understood their world yeah but i'm sure that they at no point were worried for their lives
hanging around you so it's not quite right you're like wow they're probably like wow bob folded all
of our laundry and you're like i almost thought i was gonna die it's like not exactly the same right
they they had the they were in a the upper hand the whole time um and uh totally crazy but by the
end of it like we were all very friendly because i think we realized like you know at the end of
it you're just all you're just guys you're human beings you know and like just like someone might
meet you or hear you or see you and see let's say they hear you on a podcast you're being really
irreverent and they're like oh that's against my political view and then they meet you and they're
like oh wait wow you're really cool and you're really down to earth you're really funny and all
of a sudden the wall comes down and that's what we have to do is performers you know it's like that's
what's going on now in our country like everyone's just got labels for everybody it's a shame right