G'day
It's Father's Day Down Under
So let's look at dad fails
Where's the kid?!
You lost the kid already!
Ah no, all good
Oi watch this video until the end
I want us to help this dad
Slash Ozzy Man fan out
With a dad win
Anyway back to the fails
If there's one thing all dads love it's a bloody rope swing
Look at that spinny action
His son is like
"Give us a go!"
Dad says "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah"
He wants to take it up a level
Dad's young and old understand how important
It is
To take shit up a level, here he goes!
WOOOHH HOOOHHHH F#%KED IT!
In comes the doggo
The only family member that cares
Maybe...
You should have handed it to your son
This dad has a busy day
There's no time to mow the lawn
With a mower
Have a look at this life hack
BOOM SHAKA LAKA!
Done!
Bloody gardening done!
Tick it off the to-do list.
Go on sit down
Watch the footy
Crack a tinny
One thing I'm learning as a Dad
Is that exercise is really important
You need to keep your energy levels up
This father has chosen skipping as his main way
To stay fit
HERE HE GOES!
YEA-HEH-HEH-
Ohhhh... Nup.
Scaring dads is a fun activity
If their heart can handle it
[Camera Person] BAAHH
[Scared Dad] AAHH JESUS CHRIST
[Scared Dad] F#%K OFF
Yeah, nah, yeah he'll be okay
He was just deeply focused
Playing with his tools
[Camera Person] *laughing*
[Relieved Dad] *I don't know what he says here*
[Relieved Dad] Sorry about that!
This Dad appears to be youthful
But he's f#%ken deluded!
Put your daughter's scooter away!
Don't get your dad a hoverboard
As a present
Don't do it
I'm convinced these were invented with the sole purpose
To wipe Dads out globally
I don't know what daddy issues the inventor has
But I'm yet to see
Any FAther
Enjoy
Hoverboarding
In fact if you truly love your Dad
You would do everything you can
To keep him away from technology
They're just not
They're not compatible
BA-HAM
Say goodbye to Mum's favourite painting
She's yelling from the hallway
"Who the f#%k put Gary in a virtual reality?"
"He can't even cope in actual reality"
"You kids"
"Are frying his brain"
It's hard to stop them though
Dads get to that age
Where they have a disposable income
And tech
Is like a shoulder devil
"Buuuyyy me" this drone said
Over AND OVER
Here's a Dad that invested in a Go-Pro
Unfortunately he's holding it the wrong way around
He thinks he's producing a lovely video diary
Of the Dutch landscape
[Camera Dad] And here we are in The Netherlands
Truth be told he's making a movie about his nose
It's genuinely entertaining however
I reckon he should enter it in Cannes film festival
heh
It's avant-garde
As f#%k
Cut to a hairy dad
He thinks he can handle waxing
Eeeuuugghh!
[Hairy Dad] *screaming*
[Hairy Dad] GAH!
[Camera Person] You gotta get the rest of it, Cass!
[Hairy Dad] GWAH!
[Hairy Dad] WHY'D YOU GO AGAIN FOR?!
Overall
Love 'em or hate 'em
Hopefully not hate
They're pretty hard to live without
Most of them are fair dinkum silly buggers
Including myself
I wonder if they waxed his whole body?
Actually I don't want to know
How ya going ya big bloody beautiful bastards
Here's me face!
Oi I got a message
From a dad called Karl Walsh
In me main inbox
Saying could you help mate?
Now I opened it and I discovered he's a pom living in Australia
So I almost closed it
But I didn't
Nah, cliché banter aside
Karl's nine-year-old son Richie "Little" Walsh
Has got a rare cancer called r
Rabd- I'm not going to try and f#%ken
Pronounce it
In a nutshell Richie is in stage 4
And his family has been on a hell of a journey since the diagnosis
They're hoping to fly to the U.S.A. at the end of the year
For specialist treatment
Let's not lie that's going to be expensive
A family friend set up a GoFundMe for the Walsh family
So today's call to action
Is not for my merchandise
Or to tell you to buy a bloody VPN
It's to say click the link in the post description below
To go to the GoFundMe page
For Richie 'Little' Walsh
I'm gonna chuck a couple of grand on there
So youse do what you can
Okay if you've ever wanted to buy me a beer
Buy me this instead
Buy me a donation to Richie, I'm happy
To sacrifice beer
To help a child
If you want to buy me a Christmas present
This year for making you laugh
Throughout the pandemic
Don't!
Buy me a donation to Richie's family instead
Please take the time
To go have a look and do what you can
To quote the movie Galaxy Quest
That last bit wasn't in the movie but you know what I mean
Let's give Karl
A Dad win
Thanks for your email mate
Happy bloody Father's Day