there's a lot of people screwing up
these days and every other day we're
seeing apology after apology after
apology well I am personally the king of
screw-ups but I've been able to earn
forgiveness throughout the years so in
this video we're gonna be talking about
people screwing up and how you actually
unforgiveness what is up everybody this
is Chris from the rewired soul
where we talk about the problem but
focus on the solution and if you're new
to my channel my channel is all about
helping you improve your mental and
emotional well-being so make sure you
subscribe and ring that notification
bell but there's an even bigger
announcement because I recently started
a playlist about how to apologize the
right way okay and like I said in the
intro I'm a huge screw-up and I've had
to learn how to apologize in the right
way and how to earn forgiveness but I'm
gonna be starting another playlist very
soon because I kind of analyze things
from pop culture and people messing up
and analyze their apologies and kind of
see like what they're doing and if we
should forgive them and stuff but I'm
going to start following up on these
people because for some of them it's
been some months and like looking back
and saying like did they earn our
forgiveness okay so I want to share my
personal story with this and give you
some tips because if you're a screw-up
like me like it's important to learn how
you earn forgiveness like in the
thumbnail and there's gonna be a theme
throughout this video is your actions
speak louder than words okay so for
those of you who don't know me I'm a
recovering drug addict and alcoholic I
have six years clean
like I burned every Bridge that you can
imagine
friends family jobs strangers everybody
I was a liar I was a cheat I was a thief
I did so many awful things and people
wanted nothing to do with me
six years ago nobody would talk to me I
didn't even have a couch to crash on
when I was homeless because people hated
me that much
but today I have just about everybody
back in my life and have these amazing
relationships and so much of it is
because I realized that my actions speak
louder than words
how many times
how many times did I screw up over and
over and over and over again and just
say sorry to people and say like how
many times and I have to empathize with
them when they don't give me their
forgiveness because I have been doing
this over and over like sorry's just a
word like what does that mean what does
it even mean like we have to prove these
things so the first thing I want to talk
about here is if you're somebody looking
for forgiveness you got to realize it
doesn't happen overnight like my
addiction and my awful behavior lasted
for nearly a decade and then all of a
sudden I'm 30 60 90 days clean and I
expect everybody to forgive me like no
that's not how it works like you have to
earn that you have to prove yourself you
have to prove that you're changed
because for most people in my life they
were just waiting for me to screw up
again you know what I mean and it was
frustrating it was very difficult but I
had to be patient with it I had to
realize how much harm I did to other
people and here's the thing too like I
often teach my clients this at the
mental health treatment center I work at
we're we also specialize in drug
addiction like my own self right how
easy is it for me to forgive you know
what I mean like so many of us expect
other people to forgive us almost
immediately
yeah you or these other people like
you're holding on to resentments from
when you were like 12 years old like 20
years ago you don't forgive forgiving
that kid who like stole your milk at
lunchtime or whatever it is so like it's
so hard for me to forgive why can't why
should I expect other people to forgive
me right away right so the other thing
that I learned you know was that my
actions speak louder than words one of
my favorite quotes one of my favorite
quotes from a book and some of you might
know which book this is and it says but
the wise family will respect him for
what he is trying to be rather than what
he is trying to get okay so one of the
most difficult relationships under
repair was with my son's mom like I
often joke about this but it's not
really a joke like for the first two
years of my sobriety my name wasn't even
Chris to her it was just piece of shit
okay
it was just your pizza like that's just
what it was like I was an awful person I
was you know using our rent money on
drugs I wasn't you know providing for
our son in the right
you know even when we split up I was
like spotty with child support and
helping like by stuff like I was a
terrible person didn't that first year
sober I didn't even work I was pending
disability and like she thought I was an
awful person but today we had this
amazing a beautiful and beautiful
relationship she's one of my best
friends and she's remarried she has
another son and like I hang out and you
know we talk and stuff like she used to
call me and basically say hey here's
what's going on with our son just wanted
you to know by and hang up and I'm like
okay right and today like she sits down
and half has conversations with me she
respects what I have to say so what I'm
talking about is like you have to earn
this thing and you have to put in the
work like she saw me she saw me when I
moved back to Vegas after about 15
months of sobriety I was going to work
every single day and writing an hour and
a half bus ride to and from work okay
and I had to be at work at 7 o'clock in
the morning which means I had to get on
the bus at 5:30 in the morning I was
making bare-minimum I was think I was
making like 20k a year maybe less and
like she wasn't on me for about how much
money I was making she was just sitting
there like who is this guy like who is
this guy who was showing up to work
everyday for a job that's been barely
paying him because that's not the guy
that she used to know you know I used to
call in sick all the time I used to
avoid work I used to dodge work I used
to be all about the money and stuff but
she respected me for what I was trying
to be but aside from that and the way I
I proved myself to the other people in
my life as I started being a better
person in all aspects of my life you
know like what we're seeing but we see
in society all these public figures who
are screwing up getting caught and
apologizing they're not changing their
behavior they're not trying to balance
the universe if you will like they
apologized for this one terrible thing
that they did and then they keep doing
more terrible things and they're like
okay but it wasn't this thing so we're
okay and when I when I break down
youtubers and celebrities and stuff like
that you'll you'll understand more of
what I mean I became nicer I became
kinder I became more generous I became
more selfless you know like people
started to see me you know doing things
for other people without expecting
anything in return
but the other thing is is that I wasn't
bragging about it I was doing it just
like it was my duty to the world to just
be a better person I wasn't calling
people up and saying you know guess what
I did for a homeless person today or hey
I just helped out a co-worker or hey you
know I went over and helped a friend
like I wasn't just bragging about it
like that's the other thing and I can
make a whole video series about this
like just do the good thing and don't
expect recognition from it like people
will see it
people will see it and like I get it
because we get this thing in our head
where it's almost like if a tree falls
in a forest does it really make a sound
we think like if I really do a good
thing is anybody going to notice and
like that's a terrible way to live
here's why because if you keep doing
good things and wanting people to notice
if people don't notice or give you the
recognition that you think you deserve
then you stop doing those good things
you see what I mean so it's like this
this whole thing where your self
sabotaging this new image that you're
trying to create alright so we've just
got to start doing things and people
will notice like those of you who know
me and watch my channel I look at people
I analyze people I'm all about mental
health in the human psyche and just
trying to understand why people do the
things they do I'm watching and I'm not
the only one who does this other people
do so you know when you go into work and
you just work hard and work hard like
you will get the recognition that you
need like it might not be when you want
it right but you will get it and same
thing with your friends with your family
you will get that so like it breaks my
heart seeing all these other public
figures who are doing nothing nothing to
just help out the world and just like
you know somebody I'm gonna break down
in the future is Logan Paul Logan Paul's
not doing anything he's like he took
like a week or two off and he made this
like video about suicide prevention but
since then he's been the same awful
person that he's always been it's just
you know in his mind he thinks he's
better because he's not going about
filming dead bodies anymore and it's
like no dude no and like other people to
look at or like tanomo Joe fouseytube
somebody I want to talk about too is
louis c.k like i just can't express this
enough and that's why i wanted to make
this video like
the other thing I'll say to kind of in
this video is this world doesn't owe you
a dank thing nobody owes me forgiveness
okay nobody on earth nobody owes you
forgiveness everybody is hurt in
different ways I'm legitimately hurt
people I am so fortunate I am so
fortunate and I will never ever forget
that I'm so fortunate that people have
forgiven me like I was taught a long
time ago as I started to improve my life
there might be people who will never
ever ever forgive you and I was ready
for that all right
but saint god people have forgiven me
I'm very fortunate but I got a beat into
my head that nobody owes me crap nobody
owes me forgiveness so how do you call
about that you just start being better
on a day to day basis the the best thing
that we can do when earning forgiveness
is to limit the amount of wreckage that
we that we create in the future okay
like that's the best thing that we can
do and if you can do that if you're
somebody like me who is trying to repair
your life earn forgiveness and things
like that just on a daily basis cause as
little wreckage as you can and most days
99% of the days I cost zero wreckage I
try every day and I've talked about this
in a couple videos I've done in the last
few days I try every day to do something
good for the world to put out something
good in the world that's one of the
reasons I make these youtube videos okay
as long as I'm doing that as long as the
good I put in the world is a lot more
than bad I'm putting in the world I'm on
a good and people notice that people see
that people I hope people realize that
I'm a good genuine person from what I
put into the world and I earn
forgiveness and the other thing about
earning that forgiveness from people I
knew is that the future people that I
meet they see that I'm a good person so
if I screw up not even if when I screw
up they're more likely to forgive me
because I've been a good person all this
time and they'll look at me and more of
a human way and say okay humans make
mistakes but if I'm somebody who's
constantly screwing up when that big
thing happens they're not gonna be
likely to forgive me so I hope that
makes sense I hope this video helps you
out I hope you share this video for
anybody out there who is apologizing all
the time or
or doesn't know how to earn forgiveness
you know but also at the end of the day
you gotta check in with yourself and
kind of see how you are at forgiving
people you know but I want to hear from
you down below in the comments like what
well let's just have you learn with
earning forgiveness alright let's have
the conversation down below but that's
all I got for you if you like this video
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you're all beautiful and if you would
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health positive apparel for you and even
some coffee mugs alright thanks again
for watching and I'll see you next time