>>THIS DOESN'T LOOK
LIKE THE READING TO
KITTENS SERVICE PROJECT.
>>HEY, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
WHERE ARE WE?
>>THIS IS THE SCARED
STRAIGHT PROGRAM...
>>OH.
>>WHERE EX-CONVICTS
SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES
WITH TROUBLED YOUTHS.
>>UM...
>>[WHISPERS] I TOLD YOU
WE GOT ON THE WRONG BUS.
>>NOW GET OUT THERE AND
DO WHAT YOU'RE HERE TO DO.
>>UM, SIR?
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.
NO, SIR?
>>SIR!
YOUR CLOCK...
OKAY.
>>HE JUST LOCKED US IN HERE
WITH A BUNCH OF EX-CONS
AND TROUBLED TEENS.
>>IT'S JUNIOR HIGH
ALL OVER AGAIN.
>>JUST ACT TOUGH SO WE
CAN GET OUT OF HERE.
THERE.
>>ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP!
MY NAME IS DIESEL JONES.
I WAS INCARCERATED FOR
25 YEARS FOR MULTIPLE
COUNTS OF MANSLAUGHTER.
>>MY NAME IS BLAZE WILLIAMS.
I SERVED FOR 17 YEARS IN
PRISON FOR ONE OF THE
TOUGHEST GANGS IN NEW YORK.
>>MM.
>>I... UH...
I AM MATTHEW RYAN MEESE,
AND, UH, I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG,
BUT I HAVE ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADED
SEVERAL ENYA ALBUMS.
WORD TO YOUR MOTHER.
>>AND I'M ADAM BERG,
AND I DID 50 YEARS IN PRISON
FOR MURDERING A VILLAGE.
AND THIS GLASS EYE IS A GLASS
EYE 'CAUSE THE REAL ONE GOT
BITTEN OUT BY A SNITCH.
>>WAIT, WAIT.
A SNITCH BIT YOUR EYE OUT?
>>YEAH, FOR SNITCHIN'.
>>WE'RE REALLY GOOD AT THIS.
WE'RE GOING TO
CHANGE SOME LIVES.
>>LISTEN UP.
Y'ALL THINK YOU KNOW
WHAT PRISON IS LIKE?
JUVENILE DETENTION IS
NOTHING LIKE PRISON.
PRISON IS HARD.
>>PRISON IS HARD...
I'M ASSUMING.
IT DOES NOT HAVE
YOUR FAVORITE THINGS,
LIKE JAMBA JUICE, OR PINKBERRY,
OR ANY OTHER SMOOTHIE OR
FROZEN YOGURT LOCATIONS.
>>AND ALL IT TAKES IS
ONE LITTLE VILLAGE,
AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE DOING
50 IN THE CLINKETY-CLINK.
>>THE WHAT?
>>PRISON, FOOL!
>>YOU THINK YOUR PERFECT A.C.T.
SCORES WILL PROTECT YOU IN JAIL,
YOU GOOBER?
I DON'T KNOW.
I LEGITIMATELY DO NOT KNOW.
>>I ONCE GOT SO MAD I
SLAPPED A MAN'S FACE OFF.
HIS EYES AND LIPS
FLEW RIGHT OFF.
YEAH.
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.
HE STILL HAD A
NOSE AND EYEBROWS,
BUT NO EYES AND LIPS.
>>YEAH.
>>LET ME CLARIFY IT.
HIS LIPS WERE IN THE KITCHEN
AND THEN HIS EYES WERE IN THE
LIBRARY READING "ANNA KARENINA."
>>IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
>>OH, SASS ME AGAIN AND
WE'RE GOING TO FIND OUT.
>>ALL RIGHT.
ANY QUESTIONS?
>>UM, SO, LIKE, WHAT
HELPED YOU DO BETTER?
>>WELL, I HAD TO WORK
VERY HARD TO AVOID GANG
MEMBERS AND THE LIFESTYLE.
>>I- I LISTENED TO ENYA'S
ALBUMS EVERY DAY.
"ECHOES IN THE RAIN,"
"TRAINS AND WINTER RAINS,"
"A DAY WITHOUT RAIN,"
"IT'S IN THE RAIN."
CHANGED MY LIFE.
BOOM!
PUT THAT IN YOUR MINDSKULLS.
>>AND I WOKE UP ONE DAY,
AND I REALIZED I DID NOT
WANT TO RAISE MY GLASS
EYE IN THIS ENVIRONMENT.
SO I GOT UP THE NEXT
DAY AND WALKED OUT.
>>WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
YOU SHOULD BE IN PRISON FOR
MULTIPLE LIFE SENTENCES.
HOW DID YOU JUST WALK OUT?
>>AIN'T NOBODY GOING TO
STOP OLD "GLASS-EYE" BERG.
>>WASN'T IT THE OTHER EYE?
>>DON'T MAKE ME
SLAP YOUR FACE OFF.
>>ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
>>BACK UP!
>>YOU TWO, YOU TWO
ARE OUT OF HERE.
>>REMEMBER WHAT WE SAID,
YOU STINKERS!
>>AND IN CASE YOU EVER FORGET,
JUST THINK OF THIS.
[GROWLS]
>>THAT'S A JAWBREAKER.
>>MY EYE IS A JAWBREAKER.
>>GET OUT, GET OUT.
>>WE'RE A CAUTIONARY TALE.
>>OKAY, LISTEN, LISTEN.
I HAVE BEEN IN PRISON
FOR A LONG TIME,
AND I HAVE NEVER MET
PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
THAT'S FAKE.
>>HEY, I'M LOOKING FOR A
MAN WHO KILLED MY VILLAGE.
>>I THINK YOU...
HE'S OUT THERE.
>>HERE I COME, JAWBREAKER EYE.
>>YO, SUBSCRIBE OR FACE ME.
>>AND ME.
>>YO, I MIGHT HAVE KILLED A MAN.
>>THEN I ATE HIM FOR BRUNCH.
>>COMMENT BELOW WITH
THE WEIRDEST CRIME
YOU'VE EVER HEARD OF.
>>YEAH, A BUDDY OF MINE ONCE
SET UP A MASSIVE HEIST AND
STOLE CHRISTMAS FROM WHOVILLE.
>>MAN, YOU'RE THINKING
OF THE GRINCH, FOOL!
>>IT'S REAL.
>>IT IS?
>>IT'S SO REAL.
>>THE GRINCH IS REAL?
>>IT'S SO REAL, IT'S SO REAL.
>>[SOBBING]