STAY STRONG
Parenting: Creating Hope for Kids in the Era of COVID-19
How can we build a sense of hope in our kids during the era of COVID-19?
As the COVID pandemic and its affects drag on,
it's important to consider ways
that we can build hope in ourselves, in kids.
First, it's important to validate, It's dragging on.
We are experiencing a lot of feelings of dread
and bracing for what's to come.
It's really hard.
It's important to acknowledge
some folks are talking about this as a marathon.
And in fact, marathons have a beginning,
a middle and an end.
And we're not quite sure when this all will end.
So it's important to acknowledge that these are hard times
and these are challenging for all of us.
We don't know when it's going to end.
So it's important to acknowledge that.
What is hope and how can we be active in creating it?
The next step is to think about hope and to find hope.
What is it?
It's a feeling.
It's something that we wish for.
We hope things get better.
It's also a discipline.
Hope is a discipline that we can practice.
It's a skill that we can build.
It's a sense of agency that we can say, hey well,
I hope things get better
and here's what I'm gonna do to help in my way
to help things get better.
So thinking about hope,
both as a feeling and as something that we can do
and we can build on,
it's the roll your sleeves up kind of hope
that we wanna teach kids about.
How can we manage the negative information about COVID-19 to build hope?
Another very important aspect is helping families
to manage information.
There's a lot of negative,
hope squashing information out there
in the news on social media.
So it's important to manage and really curate
the information that you let in your household.
It's important to be informed
without allowing yourself to be overwhelmed
and to teach kids how to do that.
You wanna shut off the news after a certain amount of time,
you wanna stop scrolling and doom scrolling
after a certain amount of time,
you wanna teach kids how to do that too.
And related to managing the negative information in,
you wanna look for and seek out
the positive information as well.
You wanna find joy because it is out there
even in these very trying times.
And we wanna teach kids and model that for kids in terms
of managing the information
and looking for certain types of information.
Related to that, there are a lot of positive special things
that have come out of these times.
Yes, quarantine was very difficult,
and for many that meant more time
with family that they may not have otherwise had.
It may have meant learning a new skill that may
have meant trying something different
or expanding on an old skill.
Hiking, getting out in nature more.
We know that a lot of people did that.
It's important to acknowledge that
there has been some special things
that have come out of these times
and helping kids to recognize that too,
and that will help to build hope.
What are ways to look for the positive and what is hopeful?
Sometimes we get asked,
how do I help kids focus on the good?
And it's an important question.
How do we teach kids to focus on the good?
Number one we have to model it.
We have to observe and notice the good ourselves.
We have to do it on purpose and point it out.
We have to find and look for joy.
We have to point out and look for,
as Mr. Rogers would say, the helpers.
There's are so many helpers out there.
There are so many people doing good, hopeful things,
helping neighbors and communities.
So it's important to point those out
and to show kids that those are happening.
Those hopeful things are happening.
We also wanna positively reinforce
and catch when kids themselves are doing some
of those good things, 'cause they are.
And being able to point that out and say, you know,
I was really proud of you for the way
that you helped your sister the other day.
And we wanna catch the positive and catch them being good.
We wanna praise them in a specific and labeled way.
So it's one thing to say, good job.
It's another thing to say
I'm really proud of you for helping your sister
or picking up that piece of litter off the ground.
So in addition to catching the good,
we wanna create some good.
There are so many ways to be creative
and create hopeful and meaningful things in art,
in music, in writing, in gardening, we can cook.
And helping kids find that hopeful action
includes creating and doing some of those things.
In addition to volunteering,
helping out with something in the household
or in the neighborhood,
or finding something meaningful to that child.
Whether it's, you know, helping an elderly neighbor
or volunteering for a group in your neighborhood.
So creating good is another way to create hopeful action.
How can we create hope through a practice of gratitude?
And another very, very important way that we can build hope
is through gratitude.
Creating a daily or regular gratitude practice.
And there are many ways to do this.
You can do it at the dinner table
where you go around the table
and everyone talks about something
that they're grateful for.
On a walk, if you're walking with your child
to school, from school or to a store, from a store,
Doing it on purpose and with intention.
Creating the gratitude practice before bedtime.
Naming three things that you're grateful for
in the course of the day,
even the little things,
the person who helped you holding the door open,
the person who smiled at you and cheered up your mood
or sent you that text and made you feel better.
And practicing and showing your kids
that you are practicing this daily.
And helping and encouraging them to do it as well.
So creating a daily and regular gratitude practice
also builds hope.
One final note, it's important to note
that hope is not toxic positivity.
It doesn't mean that we think
that everything is going to be fine
and everything is great.
There's been a lot of loss and grief during these times
and it's important to acknowledge those.
And it's, you know, saying it's gonna all be fine,
isn't helpful.
What we can do is work on cultivating hopeful,
pragmatic action that can move us in that direction.