got a great show for you tonight I got all my friends here we're gonna laugh
and we're gonna raise some cash you ready to get started I saw our first
comic performing Denver recently he killed me so I immediately asked him to
be on my show he's not only a grand champion of Last Comic Standing he's
also living proof that you should never let a disability stop you from making
bad facial hair decisions please welcome Josh blue
thanks to the Jukes I gotta say Bose has so much respect for
the military I've always wanted to join but unfortunately I don't think they
have a special Special Forces
yeah if you see me in camo we have surrendered
I'm here to defuse the bomb
so I'll tell you folks I'm a very happily married man visit all those
happy ladies that I'm off the market like some poor woman took the bullet for
us another creepy guy don't have to fight off in the bar
I still go don't tell my wife she's amazing she's Japanese so that man oh
you've heard of it yeah we're pretty visual well we're an eyeful really yeah
let's just say we check a lot of boxes
English is my second language and that has come in handy
I mean we have come a long way in understanding each other yeah she talked
him real good now
my life is a nurse so we have very different jobs yeah give it up for
nurses Abed my wife works in the ICU so um I don't like to ask her how her day
wasn't during dinner
poor anytime really huh I thought having a nurse in the house
make me feel more safe mm-hmm I've yet to be able to injure myself bad
enough for nurse you go to giver
I found it if my wife and I ever go anywhere together and she's wearing her
scrubs people will come up to her like you're a saint
for taking him out
well I like banana bread
I don't know you're supposed to do that's what I do I know she loves me too
cuz she goes along with it she's like you wanna see him do a trick
fimA banana bread
she know I hungry
I've been over to Japan three times to visit my wife's family have any of you
ever visited my wife's family I don't fit in well Japanese is a hard
language like I feel really dumb over there like to the point of do you think
it's too late for me to tell my wife then I don't know what her dad's name is
I feel terrible Bhagat I do I feel terrible something I don't want to know
I just haven't been able to figure it out I was so desperate to figure out
what his name was last time I was there I actually stole his mail that didn't
help at all I think I have narrowed it down though I'm pretty sure his name is
written line stick box
line stick box
anybody know how to pronounce that you'd be doing me a solid
lines stick box up I find out that means like current resident
oh good morning current resident another major problem I have in Japan is meal
time because a lot of times you eat your meals sitting on the floor at a low
table I think that's a very beautiful cultural experience for most but the
thing you need to know is that people with cerebral palsy we don't fold up
well
it's like trying to do origami with plywood
my problem is the table is too low for me to put my legs underneath it so I
have to go like lengthwise with the table taking up five seats just lounging
in the restaurant her whole family's on the other side of the table I'm just
kicking it over here like I own the mother
then the next big problem I have is a lot of times restaurants don't carry
silverware I don't do chopsticks so now because I
don't do chopsticks not only are I the only person lounging around but now I'm
also the only person eating like this with all yeah
this is good soup
that broth is hot by the way thanks for taking us out to dinner line the stick
box
gonna take real good care of your daughter
and thank you thanks to the troops huh