I heard that you're doing this promotional tour
for Jackass 3.5 and that it was almost interrupted,
the tour was almost interrupted,
and I thought, "Well gee, did something bad happen?"
But I guess it was... What was it?
No, it's jury duty.
I get called in for jury duty
and it was some case with the police,
alleged excessive force or something,
and you have to go up and get in front of the judge
and they ask you questions.
To see if you'll make a good jury member?
Yeah, and I was trying to be as honest as possible.
And she was like, "Well, have you ever dealt with police?"
You know, have they, you know...
And I was like, "Yeah, a lot."
(audience laughs)
And, "Have you ever been attacked?"
And I'm like, "Sure."
And, "I got stabbed at my friend's bachelor party."
Wait, is that true?
Yeah, yeah.
(audience laughs)
Wait a minute, okay, how did you get stabbed
at your friend's bachelor party?
Well I was minding my own business, trying to call a cab,
and three guys drove by and yelled at me.
So I yelled back, and the next thing I know,
I have three guys in my face, wanting to fight.
And I have two guys with me, and I turn around
and go, "You guys have my back?"
And they said, "No."
(audience laughs)
And I was like, "Oh, here goes nothing."
And so I hit the first guy, and then I hit the second guy.
It's the first time that I was
actually doing okay in a fight.
[Conan] Right.
Until I looked down,
we'd been fighting a couple of minutes,
and my hand was slashed, and my back was slashed.
Where did that come from?
He had a pen knife in his hand that I didn't see.
And so I had to go upstairs
and get my friends outta the bar.
We had another drink and they drove me to the hospital.
(audience laughs)
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
"I've been stabbed, I've gotta get to the hospital.
But first, another drink."
I had a tequila.
(Conan laughs)
[Andy] Anesthesia.
Anesthesia, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
But the hospital was like, a half mile away.
But they made a succession of wrong right turns,
and it took me an hour and a half to get there. (laughs)
I love that you're laughing at this story.
"And I bled to death."
(Johnny laughs)
The end. Well okay, did you get on a jury?
No.
(audience laughs)
[Conan] They threw you off.
I guess I wasn't a credible juror.
No, I guess not.
Well 10 years now,
it's hard to believe 10 years doing Jackass.
Yes.
And I know that you guys,
when a filmmaker makes a film, a director,
they sketch out, they make story boards
for what they're gonna do,
and I was told that you do that for Jackass stunts.
Is that true?
Yeah, sometimes we'll, you know, write out the ideas.
And sometimes I will sketch story boards to turn in.
And I think, I think I may have given you a couple.
Yeah, I think Riz has them around, do we have these?
There's, okay...
(audience laughs)
I thought these were gonna be more sophisticated.
(audience laughs)
I do that myself.
Okay.
And that was a... A giant snowball's supposed
to take us out Let's see this.
[Johnny] But we couldn't build the snowball,
so that bit was out the window.
[Conan] Wait, so and, so you couldn't?
[Andy] You forgot the stem on the Jack O' Lantern.
(Johnny laughs)
That snowball looks like it has, like, Donald Trump hair.
That was supposed to mean movement,
but I didn't know how to convey movement.
Okay. Wow, these are... (laughs)
These are cave drawings.
Well... (laughs)
Let's see another one.
What's this next one?
(audience laughs)
[Conan] Oh my God.
[Johnny] This is woodpeckering, and that's,
Chris Pontius did this in 3.5, actually.
We have woodpeckers flying around a balsa wood pecker.
And it has to, they have to peck through the wood
to get to the, you know.
Oh, wait a minute. Okay, so that...
The woodpeckers are attacking a wood sheath around...
[Johnny] Yeah! [Conan] Okay.
That's the idea.
And just to be sure that they would attack,
we had to hide some grubs under the wood sheathing.
Actually, I had to hide the grubs under the wood sheathing.
Okay.
It wasn't a good job.
No. How did that one work out?
I forget.
(Johnny laughs)
What do you mean, how did it work out?
It worked out great.
Now, I'm told that you showed Jackass 3D
to a nursing home.
When it was done, one of the first things you did
is you took it to a nursing home
before other people got to see it
and screened it there, is that true?
Yeah, we were doing promos for it,
and so we took it to the old folks' home
and showed it to them.
And I was really worried, 'cause it's naughty.
You know, there's a lotta ding ding in the movie.
Ringing of bells.
(Johnny laughs)
And we showed it to them,
and afterwards, the first note that came from the ladies
is they wanted more ding ding.
And yeah, they liked it.
Okay. That's fascinating to me.
They weren't frightened by it, or they weren't...?
They loved it, Conan.
(audience laughs)