- Hello, my naughty otters.
Now let's just say hypo-thalomisly
for the sake of this video that you have asked someone out.
Shocking, I know, right?
Now you might think that the most nerve-wracking part
of the whole process is over with.
(laughs) No.
I regret to inform you
that you have another nerve-wracking step
before you get on this date with this person
that you are interested in romantically.
What I am talking about is,
figuring out what you're gonna do on this date.
Like, do you just go out to dinner like everyone else,
like any other date?
That might be fine for lots of people.
Or do you do something a little more crazy and out there?
That might be great for a lot of other people.
So in this video,
what we're gonna do is we're gonna go through each
of the 16 Myers-Briggs personalities,
look at 'em one by one and say,
okay, depending on who you have asked out,
these are the kind of dates
that might impress them the most.
Do not make a mistake.
Make sure you intensify your anxiety right now
so that I may then alleviate it with knowledge.
For this type, it's not a surprise
that the ideal date should be a little more exciting
than just a dinner and a movie.
ESTPs like to live in the moment,
and they love the opportunity
to be in an energetic social atmosphere,
which is difficult to say,
something like an auto show
where they could look at and get behind the wheel
of all the new cars, or a trip to an amusement park.
Don't be afraid to add a bit of competition
to the date as well,
like going climbing at a rock wall or go-kart racing.
Just keep it fun, exciting and a little bit unexpected.
Like throw a banana peel out of your go-kart
as you're driving down the road,
and then the ESTP is gonna hit it and then spin out,
and it's very unexpected.
Speaking of fun, that is the key theme for ESFPs.
More often than not, an ESFP will wanna have a lively
and energetic one-on-one adventure.
They love to explore new places and have unique experiences.
So how about taking them to a cooking class
featuring an exotic cuisine, perhaps Canadian?
Learn to make poutine.
Or perhaps taking a mini day trip to a different town
with lots of attractions that you can explore together.
Here's the real important part though.
Don't try to over plan the date.
Like, sure, make a reservation
for your Canadian cooking class or whatever,
but don't micromanage and plan out every little detail.
Leave some breathing room for in-the-moment decisions.
ESFPs will appreciate your spontaneity.
And if everything is too planned out,
they're gonna freak out. (laughs)
They're gonna have a meltdown.
ISTJs, on the other hand,
relish having a structured evening
that is planned out in advance.
That doesn't mean the date needs to be boring,
and it doesn't mean that you can't keep things a surprise.
It just means that you can't meet up with them and ask,
"So where should we go for dinner?"
Unless of course you wanna see them have a meltdown.
Then that's exactly what you should do.
Plan the date in segments.
Keep each component, each segment,
as straightforward as possible with few moving parts,
if you will, that could create unexpected chaos.
Don't get complicated.
So, for example, segment one, at a specified time,
you meet the ISTJ at the Natural History Museum
and spend an hour looking at rocks or whatever.
Segment dos, walk to a Korean barbecue
and have a delicious dinner
while discussing fossils or whatever.
Segment C, take a leisurely walk
around the neighborhood before parting ways.
The ISTJ will appreciate
that you had everything under controls at all times.
Of all the types, the ISFJ is probably the one
to most enjoy a personal date that focuses on quality time.
They wanna spend time getting to know you
and what matters to you.
So instead of going to a restaurant that, you know,
while it's nice has no real meaning or significance to you,
take them somewhere where you have a personal connection.
So whether it's a local diner
that you went to every week as a kid
or the spot you always go for ice cream on Saturday nights
when you're trying to like forget your problems. (laughs)
Choose somewhere that has personal value to you.
Most ISFJs will be very happy to listen to you talk
about what these places mean to you,
and it will get them excited
talking about similar places that are meaningful to them.
Doing this will take your date
from forgettable to unique and memorable.
ESTJs love a night out
where they can show off their competitive side.
In fact, as a type quite concerned with competence,
they might like it
if you could give them a real run for their money
in an activity they enjoy.
It doesn't mean your date
needs to be an outright competition,
like taking them to the local boxing ring
and knocking them out.
But, you know,
something where you can try to win their heart
while also winning something that isn't boxing.
Whether it's a lively game of trivia at the local bar
or a round of mini golf, they'll be thrilled
for any opportunity to prove their skills
and give you unsolicited advice for improving yours.
And while this type can be serious on the outside,
don't be surprised
if during one of these more competitive dates,
they open up and show their goofy fun-loving side to you.
Everyone is evaluating the other person
on an early date, right?
But no one will evaluate you faster
and with more precision than an ENTJ.
Not to put pressure on you,
but you don't have a lot of leeway to get things wrong here.
Don't freak out, don't panic, it's okay.
But here's the key, all right?
A lot of times ENTJs will tell you that they prefer
for them to do the planning for a date themselves
only because they're used
to other people being crappy planners
in comparison to themselves.
So if you really wanna impress an ENTJ,
take the planning off their hands.
They probably spend it all day managing people at work.
They really don't wanna do it in their dating life.
Tell them, "I've got this," and then plan something
that clearly took you at least a little thought.
So maybe go for dinner
at a well-reviewed restaurant in your city
or take them to an escape room
where you can show off your quick thinking
or your slow thinking. (laughs)
ENTJs will appreciate that you took the reins
and thought up something unique for them.
ESFJs are big extroverts.
(stutters) No big news here.
But I think it would be a mistake to interpret that
to mean they'd rather go on a group date.
Like, "Oh, ESFJ date, get a bunch of people together
and hang out with like 50 people."
Like, "Oh, ESFJ, they'll love it
if you get together with all your friends,
and you're just like throw a party together.
That's a date, right?"
No, pew-cha!
Get that idea out of here.
They really wanna talk to you one on one,
but they can get a little anxious
if the date is too one on one,
not because they don't like you,
but because they can get a little bit self-conscious
if the focus, if the spotlight is too much on them.
They get a little worried that you're judging them,
which, if we're honest, you are, but. (laughs)
So do something upbeat
where you two can talk and connect
and also where the ESFJ can take a little bit
of the spotlight off themselves,
like a wine-tasting or a chocolate-tasting.
Go bowling or go to a standup comedy show.
The ESFJ will love the opportunity to be themselves
in an atmosphere where it's not all about them.
When planning a date for an ENFJ,
you need to be a detective.
Get out your magnifying glass and your weird little hat.
You know what I'm talking about, Sherlock Holmes.
You need to figure out what kind of date they would like
without ever asking them directly.
This is because ENFJs can get flustered
if the sole responsibility
for making a decision is placed on them.
So if you ask at ENFJ, "Would you prefer to go ice skating
or go to a museum for our date," they're just gonna pick
whichever one they feel like you would prefer.
So in advance, put out some feelers
in your conversations with the ENFJ.
Yes, I mean like word feelers,
not like actually, don't go like this.
That's a little weird.
Casually mention ice skating as an example
or whatever your date idea is
in a conversation and see what the ENFJ's reaction is.
Refer to the previous section about ESFJs
for some more specific date ideas
because these types are very similar,
and I think a lot of the stuff I said for them
will go for the ENFJ as well.
With ISTPs, you want a date
that starts off active and energetic.
When I do my arms this way,
it means active and energetic. (laughs)
But then it tempers down
and gets more relaxed and chill by the end.
This is bequase ISTPs love thrill and excitement,
but they also love solitude,
and I don't mean the city in the hit game "Skyrim."
But they probably love that too.
So they can find themselves burning out by the end of a date
if it's just like too much.
So a great idea for something exciting
that allows you to pace yourself
or leave whenever would be something like an arcade.
You can play as many games as you like,
and the excitement is more about you
and whomever you're playing with.
It's open-ended, it's free form.
You can play as many games as you like.
You can go here, you can go there.
You can play solo games. You can play games together.
You can watch the ISTP show off their gaming prowess.
That's right, ISTPs.
I know how good you are at the original "Donkey Kong."
Then from there,
you can head out and do something more relaxed
like get an ice cream cone with extra sprinkles
and pecan pie chunks and maybe some crushed up Butterfingers
and then dip it in chocolate
and then put it between two cookies
and then get an insulin shot.
INTPs generally don't want a date
that's too crazy or energetic.
They prefer a date that's more on the cerebral side.
Don't put them in a situation
where they're so dead inside
they're just nodding and saying,
"Ha-ha, that's so crazy," to everything you say.
By the way, if any introvert ever says,
"Ha-ha, that's so crazy," to something you say,
it means they're checked out, just stop talking.
Instead, give the INTP a chance
to show off all their nerdy knowledge.
Maybe go to an interesting movie, then discuss over coffee.
Browse through a bookstore
and see if you discover anything interesting.
Or if the INTP has a specific interest like astronomy,
plan the date so that it ends with some stargazing.
This type is big into unique, novel, fun experiences,
especially if it can help create
a strong personal connection between the two of you.
So going out to a cafe or whatever, can be fine,
but to get an ISFP to really think you're the bee's knees,
you gotta think outside the box.
Like going out to a cat cafe
where you can pet the kitty cats
while drinking cappuccinos.
Maybe rent a Vespa and take a scenic ride around your city.
Or visit a sound bath
where you and your ISFP date can meditate
while a sound healer plays gongs and rain sticks.
These are great options
because they give the ISFP a unique experience
that they have shared with you
that you both can connect over
and remember hopefully forever.
And I guess remember forever together
because you could still remember it and not be together.
INFPs also really like one-on-one time.
As such, creative dates that allow you
to learn more about each other can be a great idea.
A good way to do this is to pick a place
that doesn't have a ton of distraction.
So avoid the cat cafe and just go to a regular cafe
and just have a nice chat over a pot of tea.
It's a casual outing
that isn't focused on a meal or other activity
and is instead focused on getting to know each other.
This date in particular is the kind of date
that would like freak out some other types,
but for the INFP, it's right up their alley.
A great way to end a date with an INFP
is to go to a bookstore or record store,
and both of you pick out a book or album you really enjoy
and then trade with each other.
And this will give you something to connect over
between dates as you get to know the INFP,
and they get to know you
through your favorite creative works.
ENTPs love ideas, and they love talking about those ideas.
So getting them into an environment
that really stretches their intuitive muscles
and allows them to brainstorm with you
is quite exciting to them.
Date ideas that allow for such conversations
usually involve big topics
like history, space or the future.
So a museum of technology, an air and space museum,
or an evening playing with a new gadget you bought,
like a drone could really let the ENTPs creative side shine.
Also, be sure to let them go on their little tangents
and rambles when they occur
because those are what really inspire them.
The goal for an ENFP date is novelty and/or quirkiness.
They don't wanna go to the fanciest restaurant in town
just because it's good
or do the same old dates that they have done
or seen on TV a hundred times before.
They wanna do something inspiring, man.
So you could take them to the theater
to see a play or musical.
You could take a class and learn a new skill together
like drawing or origami.
You could even do something spontaneous
like making up a scavenger hunt as you go around your town.
You don't always have to raise the bar
and do something crazy different for ENFPs,
but you do need to do something
that can appeal to their imaginations.
INTJs, ah, they're one of the hardest types to get right
when it comes to dates,
and this is because many of them are content
just like staying home. (laughs)
So if you really wanna impress an INTJ with a date,
don't pick something that will take an excessive amount
of time or mental energy.
A date that's gonna take up the whole day,
and it's all planned out with a big itinerary
is daunting and tiring to INTJs.
They're gonna have an anxiety attack
just thinking about where they're gonna park
or like what's gonna be on the menu at the lunch place
and then the dinner place.
Agh, there's just so many options.
So instead, pick something simple, organized and efficient,
like we're just gonna go to an escape room.
That's all you have to think about.
We're just going to a brewery.
We're just going ax-throwing,
which makes me think, a lot of times,
despite the sensory world being an INTJ's weakness,
hence why you wanna keep a date simple,
they do enjoy stuff where they can be a bit more physical,
especially when they can use some force,
like ax-throwing or bowling.
Like they can just take out their anger on physical reality,
and then after they bowl a strike,
they get to watch the little TV screen
that shows all the bowling pins
getting massacred by the bowling ball.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
INFJs like dates where they can not only get to know you
but get to know the whys and hows
of who you are and what you like.
It follows then,
that good date ideas for INFJs are ones that allow you
to have various launching points for discussions
that can lead to a deeper understanding of each other.
A good start would be
to find any shared interest you might have
and then see if there is an event related to that
that you could attend together.
So maybe you both like poetry
and you attend a poetry open mic night
where you can listen to a bunch of people read their work,
and if you're adventurous, share what you wrote too.
Another good idea is a convention
for something like antiques or travel,
even if neither of you are like big aficionados
or even have that much interest in it.
What's important is that you can walk around together
and see what random unexpected stuff
intrigues the other person the most.
It's sort of like a very controlled way
of being spontaneous.
The main point for INFJ dates
is to allow a little bit of a window into your soul
and let them see a little bit of what makes you tick.
Is it pecan pie chunks on your ice cream cone?
That says a lot.
Thanks for watching, and until next time,
stay cool and attractive.
♪ They say a stranger's come to town ♪
♪ They call him Mr. Frank James ♪