Welcome to Just Between Us
We're in Gabby's apartment!
This is kind of like when Conan goes to, like, China, y'know, and does Conan from China
I feel like not enough people compare us to Conan
Who's Andy Richter?
Both: Me (lol)
Second thing: Thank you for having me here
You're welcome. Welcome to my home <3
Thank you. Third thing: There's a lot of photos of you here...
Oh, I hang up fanart of myself.
Yeah, I hang up the fanart that people make of me.
Yeah, so like normally, you have like photos of like friends and family,
but you seem to just have a lot of paintings, and drawings, and photos of you.
I'm in a unique position.
Oh it--Tell me more.
Well, I have a fanbase that makes art of me.
Uh-huh
So I want to display that art.
I kind of want to, like, fill the house with art of myself
so, actually, if you guys want to do anymore such artwork, that would be greatly appreciated.
I wanna fill my house with dogs.
Not paintings of dogs, just actual dogs.
Open to both.
Opening~
Oh, am I supposed to talk?
stuttering
You just got activated like a robot!
I keep doing that!
Boop, I'm alive!
I think that this is what it's like when you have a full life.
You're not supposed to.
Well, I mean-
I'm used to just hours of free time
The average American works too many hours.
You're only supposed to work, probably like, 20 hours a week
But Americans are--since we put such a precedent, you know
Where did you get this 20 hours a week thing?
I talked to someone from my podcast about it!
Oh, really?
And about how Americans, like, we overwork ourselves, and we like
make, y'know, our work such a priority that we like, work more than we do other things
And we really shouldn't.
Yeah. It's not even just like work, it's like chores, and errands.
And this, and that and-
We need to prioritize rest more.
Allison connects on a spiritual level
Anyway, today we wanted to talk about-
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Well, today started because Doug, our trusty DP
Yeah, the backbone of this channel
Was asking about if you went on a first date w/ someone from Tinder
And he, like, felt neutral about it
It wasn't bad, it wasn't good
And he was sort of like; Well, should I see this person again?
And, somehow that led us--This has nothing to do with anything.
No, it kind of led to me being like;
Well, do you think that you could be with someone if you had doubts?
Like, if you had doubts, any doubts,
Is it supposed to just be like; I'm in love with you 100%, all the time,
And we're madly in love, and it was love at first sight?
Yeah, that doesn't exist.
Or--It does, but it's fake.
I think people fall in love at first sight,
but you can't be at "love at first sight" levels
You can't maintain that.
I think you can also, if you're very lucky,
you can have problems, but you never want to not be with that person.
Yeah.
That's probably best case scenario.
Problems, but still never wanting to not be with them.
Does that exist?
Yes.
Cool. B-)
The amount of doubts, like it really matters, like where you are in your relationship
and like, what the stakes are?
Go on, say more.
Okay, thank you.
So like, if you're together for like 2 months and all you're doing is doubting it,
then, like, just get out.
Cut your losses!
Yeah, what's the point?
But if you're like, 15 years into a marriage with children-
Mmhmm
Put in a little more work!
laughs
My therapist is always just like, "If you don't have kids, get out."
My mom is like that. Hard core.
Like, cause sometimes I feel like you can feel, like, so committed to this person-
Yeah.
But you're really not. Like, your lives aren't that intertwined yet.
Yeah
Like, yes, you see them all of the time,
but if they left, it would just mean you didn't see them.
People get way in their heads about, like,
"Well, we have so many friends in common, and we live together!"
Oh, yeah, living together's hard.
People move!
Both: People move.
Right, exactly.
You know? But, okay
But, I also think it also depends on what kind of doubts you have.
Like, if you're like, "I'm worried that this person
might, like, maybe be a serial killer"...
Yeah, I was like-
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I thought: blow up a school.
Yeah! Like, if there's like some kind of thing where you're like
I feel like maybe they're telling me they're a the gym,
but they're really serial-killing.
Versus, if you're like, "I feel like, maybe,
like, my doubts are that they don't have a job right now."
You know what I mean?
Versus, like, something huge.
Like, what if you, like suspect they might be racist?
Them not having a job isn't a doubt if that's the reality
No, but if you're like, "I don't want to be with them because of that."
Like, it's how you feel about it.
You're taught, like, "____ are what's important in a partner."
And then, as you go through your life,
you realize like, "Mm, maybe actually this isn't that important to me,
but this is really important to me."
And that's totally different for everyone.
Yeah
What about if your doubt is just, "Could I do better?"
Then, I think you need to break up. (preach)
Oooh, that's so tough!
That's, like, that's bad. That's a bad one.
I also think it's really hard to like, know how happy you should be.
Like, what's unrealistic and what's, like, achievable.
But what's tough is if you relate everything to like, movies
or, like, erotica.
You know what I mean? And so you're just like-
How much erotica are you reading??
Oh, so much. >:-)
"My love life needs to look like this!" And it needs to just be like-
Just, like, pulsing and throbbing
Yeah, and it needs to be like the scene from
rolling on the beach like every morning
like it just needs to be like beatiful, or whatever
So then when you're in a relationship with someone,
and there's like a day-to-day grind of being in a relationship
and you're like, "Well I could do better, cause I want this
like, sweeping thing," but like, that's not realistic-
Yeah
Then, that's different than being like,
"I think maybe they might be ugly"
Oh no, that's a bad-
You know what I mean?
I don't know if my partner's attractive!
John?
No! Oh, my God-
John's very attractive!
No!
Oh, listen: I know you don't like him, but let me tell you, John is very cute
I didn't mean John!
John, I'm so sorry. I had to reassure her.
No! This is how fake-news get started!
I think Ellen's the best-looking person I've ever seen.
Wow, really?
Mmhmm. :-)
I say that all the time.
That's exciting.
Yeah.
Does that make you feel self-conscious?
Or does she tell you that you're the best-looking person she's ever seen?
She's not that dramatic about it.
That's interesting because I don't often date people I feel that way about.
That's good.
I know.
But I also think that that's like, that's so subjective.
As you fall more and more in love with someone then that's like-
No, it's all subjective. How someone looks is all subjective.
But I'm just saying, in my-
But, weirdly enough, Ellen is also the best-looking person I've ever seen
laughs
This is the pie-chart, or the graph.
Okay, take me through it.
It's what your doubt actually is, and then how important that doubt is to you.
Right, so right now it seems to be pretty even.
laughs
It's a line graph.
So, it's like this: your doubt--how important that doubt is
And then it's how, how much
So where is like, the vector? Vector isn't the right word.
It's just going like this
Vector is a word you use for graphs, right?
(Yes)
This is making me stressed. I feel stressed.
Why?
I dunno, I just find it stressful.
Because you're trying to, like, tell people what to do?
It's just like, how do you know you're making the right decision, ever, about anything in your life?
Oh, you can't.
This channel is fully useless.
I don't know, what's it, like--you're just figuring that out?
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