Fat Tony, Skinny Debra, opposites.
>> Hey.
>> We do the opposites, you see what I mean?
>> Hey, it's Fat Tony and this is Thrift Haul, a competitive fashion show where two
contestants compete to see who can get the better outfit on a budget.
[MUSIC]
Here we are at Goodwill Southern California.
Let's see what we can find.
Today's theme, Thirst Trap.
Our contestants are looking for an outfit to make their followers horny.
Contestant number one, comedian Brodie Reed.
>> Hey what's up, Internet.
Good to see you again.
>> Contestant number two, comedian Christine Medrano.
>> Hi.
>> [LAUGH] And to help us out with this whole [BLEEP] we've got guest judge,
comedian Debra DiGiovanni.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Hello, hello!
I'm here, I'm horny.
And I'm a little scared.
>> [LAUGH] >> My god.
>> Tony, you've lost your composure.
>> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I [BLEEP] it all up.
>> Can you explain what a thirst trap is?
>> I'd be glad to.
Thirst traps are basically what you set on social media.
When you want some and you're putting it out there, and you know it.
It's blatant, but you do it anyway, something sexy for your people.
>> Have you posted any thirst traps recently?
>> No!
[MUSIC]
>> Our contestants will go head to head for two rounds, a shopping spree and
a competitive fashion show.
You ready to judge?
>> Harshly.
>> But that's not all.
The winner gets to pick an outfit for the loser to put on and
post to their Instagram.
And you can't delete it.
>> Are we talking story or are we talking- >> We're talking timeline.
>> Timeline commitment.
>> You gotta post it.
>> Damn.
>> Do you guys have a strategy for this?
>> You know what, I'm not here to make friends.
Cuz I'm already friends with these people, so that would be a waste of time.
So I'm just here to win.
>> To let the essence of who I am be the sexiest part of the outfit.
>> Sounds like loser talk to me.
>> [LAUGH] >> I'm gonna shut it down like a white
woman watching a black man have a barbecue.
>> Hey, topical.
>> Hey, topical, hey!
>> [LAUGH] >> Each of you start with two minutes on
your clock for your shopping spree.
Debra, are you ready?
>> I am ready.
I am thirsty, I am parched.
Let's do this!
>> You better get some tiny waters ready!
>> Round one, let's [BLEEP] get it!
[MUSIC]
>> Hey, what up? It's your boy, Brodie.
You don't actually know me.
I've been thrift shopping my whole life, cuz I've been poor my whole life.
My strategy for winning is just to be hotter than Christine.
Debra's hormones are like a volcano.
So if I just look hot, I'm gonna win.
>> You guys got two minutes to pick your best thirst trap outfit.
>> Take notes, Christine.
>> I don't gotta take notes, cuz I'm the damn lecturer.
>> Okay, cool, I wasn't ready for that clapback [LAUGH].
>> At this point, I am not aroused at all.
Which is weird, because I pretty much wake up aroused.
Get desperate.
>> Make it desperate.
>> I'm serious, use me as inspiration.
>> I'm gonna get some boy band stuff in there, just for you.
>> Do whatever you gotta do.
>> All right, Brodie, you're ready?
On your mark, get set, go!
>> Okay, cool.
Okay, bobbing and weaving, I'm looking at patterns.
>> Two minutes! >> Is he moving under water?
Why is he going so slow?
>> Man, I don't know what to pick.
Okay, cool, shorts.
>> No, put that back!
>> What?
>> I don't know, I'm just trying to mess with you.
>> Don't listen to her.
>> I'm sorry.
[MUSIC]
>> Rip the crotch out of something.
It's just a suggestion.
>> I just need more pants.
>> You need less pants.
>> No pants.
>> It's a thirst trap.
>> Less pants, more dick.
>> [LAUGH] >> You've got one minute left.
>> Ahh!
>> Are you going barefoot?
>> No, I got shoes.
>> Don't listen to her anymore!
>> Okay, I'm sorry.
>> Listen to her more!
[MUSIC]
>> This is very difficult.
>> Grab it out of someone else's hand if you have to.
There's no rules!
>> [LAUGH] I need an escort.
>> I'm thinking halter top, halter top.
>> Ten, nine- >> Show the midriff!
>> Eight, seven- >> I don't know,
I need to find one short thing.
>> Six, five, four, three, two, one!
[SOUND] >> [LAUGH]
>> [APPLAUSE]
>> This is gonna be good.
>> Part of me feels like I choked, but I know that I crushed it.
>> I'm not aroused at all.
>> Cool, we know each other professionally.
>> This is gonna be awkward on Monday.
>> Didn't pick too much?
>> Didn't pick too much, which I think is good.
But did he pick enough though?
Mm, didn't pick enough.
>> In the heat of the moment, your senses really blur.
So I'm just really trying to feel the energies of the clothes.
[SOUND] There's a lot of energy in this one, kind of like lightning.
[SOUND] Okay, these, I'm realizing this is a skirt.
[SOUND] This was one of the preliminary shorts that I got.
But Debra is a freak, so she's probably gonna want shorter shorts than this.
>> I was just thinking that!
>> [SOUND] These are really gonna show off my calves.
It's got kind of a golf dad vibe.
[SOUND] These are just some nice corduroy pants.
I'm thinking about putting these aside for later.
[SOUND] This shirt is kind of like an all-American, like I'm going on a picnic.
And I'm probably gonna not use this at all.
>> It's not thirsty.
That is very well hydrated.
>> [SOUND] Corduroy pants, again, these are for me afterwards.
#CorduroyBoy, I'll be that.
[SOUND] Some kicks, cuz I had to get some kicks.
Gotta make a bold choice.
[SOUND] When I think what chicks like in dudes, I have no idea.
Usually they just like a boy band.
And then they all have different hair cuts and stuff like that.
I got a haircut, so I figure I'll just dress like a boy.
That's all I need.
>> Okay, Debra, so any thoughts on Brodie's haul?
>> I feel like he did a pretty good job.
It's gonna be sort of that slightly preppy, is he a good boy, is he a bad boy?
>> That's sexy.
>> We're gonna find out.
>> That's a trap in itself.
>> It's a trap!
It is a trap.
God, he's sneaky.
>> Any favorite item in his haul?
>> The shorts, the plaid shorts, if he goes really short with them.
>> He did a lot of shopping for later, not a lot of shopping for now.
I feel like it is easier to be a thirst trap for guys.
You just have to have a book, and be nice to someone.
>> [LAUGH] >> I feel like he was.
So as a woman, I'm gonna have to really go for the thot-iness.
>> Thot-iness rather than naughtiness?
>> Exactly, there you go, like a thot who's not afraid to be herself.
>> Christine's next.
>> So I need to win because I need to defeat Brodie.
He's a colleague, but also a sworn enemy.
I'm just gonna find a bold statement piece and build around that.
And I think that's gonna be the strategy that will take the gold.
>> I'm gonna win!
>> [BLEEP], get the [BLEEP] out of here.
>> Christine's looking ready, looking feisty.
>> [SOUND] You know it.
>> You ready for this?
>> I listened to Rihanna all the way here, I am born ready for this.
>> I think that's someone else's song.
>> [LAUGH] >> Ready, set, go!
>> To the children's section!
>> All right, you've got 2 minutes, which is 2.5 Canadian minutes.
>> [LAUGH] >> Are you both from Canada?
>> Yeah.
>> Where?
>> Toronto.
>> Winnipeg.
>> Where did she go?
>> Christine, come back!
>> We have a lost child.
>> [LAUGH] >> Maybe a little too small for me.
How much time do I have left?
God, this was a bad idea.
>> Children's section is cheaper.
And if you find it sexy, we should stop this conversation.
>> I don't know, I feel like I'm not doing this that well.
I'm kinda freaking out.
>> Get something made of net.
>> Like a sexy Paddington Bear.
>> Heels for sure, you're little.
Although dudes love that, go flat.
>> Yes.
[MUSIC]
>> You're supposed to be a thirst trap, not a sweat trap.
>> What trap is my deal?
Wait a minute.
>> I don't have any crop tops.
Where are the crop tops?
>> Anything can be a crop top if you make it so.
>> Ten, nine- >> I hid all the crop tops.
>> Eight, seven, six- >> No!
>> Five, four, three, two, one.
[SOUND] >> Hey,
that's one more thing after the one.
>> Shh!
>> I saw that.
>> So I guess my main look, I saw this and I thought,
what was one of my favorite things of last year?
Paddington Bear [SOUND] so like a sexy Paddington Bear look.
[SOUND] People love Paddington, they can love me.
>> They call that the Spicy Marmalade.
>> [SOUND] I thought this was really cute.
[SOUND] I feel like I need to bring some height, cuz I am a short girl.
It doesn't seem like it's sexy.
But I'll make it [SOUND] sexy, kind of like this [SOUND] paired with this.
>> Cool, you look like a Starburst.
>> [SOUND] This is another, kind of like baby doll.
Maybe I'll tuck it in a bit, roll it up.
It's how you wear the piece, you know what I mean?
[SOUND] I do love children's jackets.
Sexy toddler.
>> That is the wrong way to go!
Super Deluxe does not condone any of this!
>> [LAUGH] >> But I'm most excited about this hat.
I saw a woman wearing it earlier.
>> I'm so sorry for your loss!
>> [LAUGH] >> [SOUND] I'm so sorry for your loss,
cuz I'm about to win.
And watch, a whole new look.
>> Deb, Christine, any last words?
>> I'm worried about Christine.
I feel like she's gonna pull it off.
But I'm a little worried about her,
unwearable things that might have her arrested.
I wanna call a priest, I wanna call the police.
And I wanna call her mother.
>> As a fellow Canadian- >> [LAUGH] Yes.
>> Are you truly ashamed?
>> You see, I'm a little ashamed.
But as a Canadian though, I'm proud of her and I want her to win.
[LAUGH] We need a win, Canada.
>> Brodie, thoughts?
>> She definitely went for quantity over quality.
>> [LAUGH] >> I think she picked out a lot of great
things for her quinceanera.
>> Let's see how they wear it, Thirst Trap edition.
>> Ready [NOISE].
>> [LAUGH]
[MUSIC]
>> All right, we’ve got these mother [BLEEP] in their thirst trap outfits.
Let’s see who did it best.
First up we have, Brodie.
[MUSIC]
>> [LAUGH]
[MUSIC]
>> All right.
>> My god.
>> Okay.
>> God.
>> Hey Debra.
>> Hey baby.
>> I didn't know you were gonna be here too.
>> Flirty.
>> Are you just shopping for a hunk or what?
>> [LAUGH]
[MUSIC]
>> All-American boy, note the sunglasses.
>> I love America, let everybody know.
>> All right, [BEEP] okay.
>> It's even better going, you know what I mean?
It's juvenile, it's delinquent.
My heart!
[LAUGH] Seriously, I have a bad heart.
>> I couldn't really decipher if this was electricity or ice.
>> Is it hot, is it cold, nobody knows.
>> Kinda like me.
>> Are you?
I know. >> I can't tell if you're a Pac-Sun kinda
guy or a Journeys kinda guy.
I like them both.
>> I got the golf pants on.
>> They're skin tight.
>> I'll show you a little secret.
>> Whoa, whoa!
>> They do not fit >> Whoa, whoa.
>> They do not fit at all.
>> That's it, you are ready.
>> That's where the thirst begins.
[MUSIC]
>> Did you have inspiration or no, was this just-
>> I was inspired by your beauty.
>> No wonder you look so crazy [LAUGH].
>> I don't have [BLEEP] to say.
Thank you, Brodie.
>> No, me neither.
Yeah, I get it, great.
>> Thank you so much, guys.
Hey, let her down easy, all right?
>> [LAUGH] >> So
what arousal level are you at right now?
>> Solid 12 out of 10.
Scientifically, it doesn't make sense, but that didn't make sense.
Somebody bring me some water.
>> Brodie did his thing, let's see what Christine got [SOUND].
>> Excellent entrance.
>> Whoa, well, hello!
>> Hi.
>> [LAUGH] >> You guys looking to to solve
the mystery of who won this?
>> [LAUGH] >> Because I think I know who
the answer is.
>> Can you give us a little walk?
>> That's what this is for, baby.
>> Yeah.
[MUSIC]
That was a high kick!
This, I- >> Whoa!
>> [BLEEP].
>> Yikes, I do get a bit of walk in shame in this outfit.
>> You know what?
Who doesn't love shame though, right?
>> I love shame.
>> Kind of like Catholic shame.
>> Shame's my favorite.
>> Shame is sexy.
I like the hot Paddington coat.
>> With nothing underneath too, very thirsty.
So is it Paddington 1 or Paddington 2?
>> I'm gonna say Paddington 2, cuz I only saw Paddington 2 in theaters.
Didn't see it, the first one.
>> Same, Paddington 2, what a movie.
>> The gym shorts is very good.
So you put a lot of thought into this outfit.
>> Well, actually, I feel like the outfit put a lot of thought into me.
It kinda came together, all the pieces.
Kinda like Infinity War, all the stones just came together to crush this.
>> Okay, I get everything else, except for that terrible [BLEEP] hat.
Do you have a grandfather fetish?
Be honest.
>> It lets people know that royalty up top, but party down below.
>> Christine, thank you, get the [BLEEP] out of here.
>> Bye, guys, I'll see you at the winner's table.
[MUSIC]
>> Debra, Debra, Debra.
>> Okay.
>> What the [BLEEP] do you think?
>> [LAUGH] I don't know.
We have to go back to the theme, which is Thirst Trap.
>> Who turned you on the most?
>> I'm sorry, it was Brodie.
I am a hetero woman, and so it's not just the fact that it's Brodie.
But it just worked for me.
>> What did you like about him?
>> He was very confident.
He wanted to be wearing it.
The shorts, very good, a lot of color, I enjoyed it.
And Christine, I mean she rocked it hard.
But it's the hat, I can't get over the hat.
>> I hate the hat.
>> The hat screams celibacy.
The death of sex is what that screams to me [LAUGH].
>> Well, I love Brodie's outfit.
He looks like he got everything out of the nearest outlet mall.
>> [LAUGH] >> But
I've gotta give it to Christine, sorry.
>> I'm sorry, she had- >> What do we do?
>> She was ready for all seasons.
>> She was, I know.
>> Paddington's got a special place in my heart and my nuts, I love it.
>> [LAUGH] >> The shoes were a big risk, but
she had the cane to back it up.
>> She whipped it too.
>> Which shows that she thinks ahead,
that's the kinda person I wanna thirst after.
>> [LAUGH] >> All right, and
the Paddington jacket without anything underneath it is also bold.
>> Yes.
[MUSIC]
>> All right.
[MUSIC]
All right.
>> All right, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
>> [LAUGH] All right?
>> Let's not jump the gun. >> Wait, wait.
>> [CROSSTALK] Let's not jump the gun,
let's not jump the gun. Let's think it over again.
>> Okay.
>> Brodie.
>> Brodie couldn't do his pants up.
Which is nice, cuz you're halfway there.
>> Yeah, that's-
>> [LAUGH] And we both know how much
Christine loved that hat too. It wasn't just like, a hat.
No, she's into that hat.
>> Thirst trap.
>> Talking about likes.
>> Yes.
>> Double tap.
>> Yes, swiping.
>> DMs.
>> Right?
>> Can we get our contestants out here?
[MUSIC]
>> Hey, I just wanna say, great job.
>> You too.
>> May the best man win.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Well, it took us longer than usual
to come to a final decision. >> I cried.
>> We love you all's outfit.
Y'all both make us very horny.
[MUSIC]
We got to give it to Brodie.
[MUSIC]
>> Wow, this is so great.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Hot boy!
>> [APPLAUSE]
>> [LAUGH] As the rules state,
the loser has to wear an outfit that the winner has picked out.
>> Yay!
>> For you to post on your Instagram,
you can't take it down. Brodie, can you go grab her outfit?
>> Yes, absolutely.
I found this for you.
>> Honestly?
>> I figured-
>> Is it jammies?
>> I love it.
>> Pretty much jammies.
>> I'm gonna try this on.
>> She's made a lot of progress today.
>> So nice of you to get her some lingerie
for her loser outfit. >> [LAUGH]
>> She can still make the thirst
trap happen. >> Yeah, she can still make it happen.
She'll be fine.
[MUSIC]
>> My god, cute as buttons.
You're gonna get the wrong kind of
attention. [MUSIC]
>> I didn't see you there.
You like Thrift Haul?
Follow our show page.
Shout out to Christine, Brodie,
and Debra for [BLEEP] with us today. Comment below with who you think should
have won. And let me know what the next episode's
theme should be. A, July the 4th be with you.
B, Jersey Shore.
C, Florida Man.
Or D, Twitch streamer.
Thrift Haul, we out this bitch.
[MUSIC]
>> So I lost, but I don't feel too bad.
I feel like, especially right now, my outfit's right at home.
Honestly, I could see myself wearing something like this to sleep.
The top, if I paired it with normal pants, I would actually wear it.
So I don't feel like this has been a loss.
If anything, I feel like Brodie's still the loser.
Cuz I get to hang out with all these plush animals and be super comfy.
[MUSIC]