You know, some of
the biggest worries on children's minds today can range from things
that we think are not big at all to things that are really, really big.
And so I think the word big needs to be defined as it relates to
what are some of the biggest things on a child's mind today?
What are they worrying about?
Because sometimes worry for them is big
and the bigness of that worry can be as little as as we write in
What Do I Do with Worry?
The children's book that we wrote,
you know, it can be as big as going to a birthday party and worrying
that they're going to have chocolate cake instead of the cake.
And you don't and the child's not sure how to decline chocolate cake
in an inappropriate way.
And that's worry is really really big in their minds, you know?
And so however, it can also be what if grandma and grandpa, you know, is really,
really sick and and what if they're not going to be with us for much longer?
You know, these are big worries that, you know, they're bigger to us.
But for a child,
they can't discern the difference between what is big and that type of thing.
And so there's all kinds of worries
that they're experiencing from being afraid of the dark
to even being worried about whether or not they're
that we think as their parents that their worries are silly.
Yeah. And and that's another big one.
And so I think it's important to to just become really solid students
of our kids as we sit with them,
as we see maybe behavioral changes.
Maybe they're withdrawing.
Maybe they are acting out.
Maybe they're being disrespectful.
But underneath that, that disobedience is actually a worry.
And our ability to be able to discern that as parents,
to become students of our kids, to slow down in this busy culture,
this busy world that we live in when we're running from frantic from thing
to thing, to be able to really, truly slow down enough
to enter into their world and understand what is it
that is actually happening in their little minds and hearts.
And I think so
often as parents, we're almost afraid to ask those questions to get underneath,
to see what really is bothering them, because probably of our own worry
and our own fear.
And if that's been part of your story, where worry or anxiety is something
that you have struggled with so often, we will hear it so much louder
in our own minds than even our kids are experiencing it. And worrying,
It's just a regular human emotion.
But so often we put so much fear
onto it because we ourselves don't know how to deal with it.
And we ourselves have struggled with it.
And that's totally understandable.
But I think some of the best ways that we can handle it are to just ask
really great questions of our kids.
And so often, you know, young kids will ask questions.
And so just by listening to their questions, they usually start
with what if. Right? And it's like, what if this happens?
What if I go to school today and no one wants to sit with me at lunch?
As we hear their questions, we can walk down the road
with them of where their little minds are going.
You know, and as kids get older, often they stop asking questions as much
because there's this shame that comes over them and there's shame associated
with being concerned about that and how that looks even to us as parents.
And so the more that we can normalize talking about those vulnerable things
in our own lives.
Using stories of your own worry and not to put that worry on your kids where
you know, we never want
to put our fears and our worries and the weight of them on our kids.
We want to be stronger and wiser in the sense that we
have the tools and we know how to handle it for ourselves.
But I'm sharing with you where I struggled with worry and I, tell them a story
where that was something that you've walked through and then how you handled it.